


Beloved

by Ichigo777



Category: Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Gen, see chapters for additional warnings, spoilers for Fairest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-03-12 15:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 52,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ichigo777/pseuds/Ichigo777
Summary: One single change can drastically alter the future. One tiny change can have a huge impact upon the world. All it takes is one tiny, small, insignificant change to reverse someone's fate. Levana centered.





	1. Introduction

One single change can drastically alter the future. One tiny change can have a huge impact upon the world. All it takes is one tiny, small, insignificant change to reverse someone's fate.

 

And, so now, we shall change one small thing by switching something.

 

_She was a wife now. Though her dress did not bear half as much skin as her sister's, she felt much more the woman. She had what her sister did not have. A family. Someone to love her._

 

_“I hope,” Levana continued, more to herself now, “that little Princess Winter will soon have a little brother or sister too.”_

 

_Channary wheeled towards her. “You're already pregnant?”_

 

From **Fairest** (paperback pages 118-119)

 

“Yes.”

 

One seemingly small change. A world in which Levana has a child by Evret. A world where Channary does not so easily become pregnant and dies from Regolith poisoning with her child still within her. A world with no Selene and with no question to who is Queen of Luna.

 

A different world. A different Levana. A different story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note on Levana's looks.  
> The books are never quite explicit as to what Levana's real form looks like. We get to see what glamours she uses but never what the real Levana looks like. So I went with my own interpretation.
> 
> Both Channary & Jannali have chestnut hair and tan skin. It's mentioned that Channary looks like Jannali but Levana is never mentioned as looking like her. Thus she probably had a different hair color that came from her father's side and likely not a color close to chestnut. Her glamour is obviously not the real Levana (as we know she stole most of it from Sol) but I think it's likely she might have kept ONE element of her true self - the reddish highlights she added into her hair to make it auburn. I personally think it's likely that her hair might have been red. 
> 
> I personally HC her as having tan skin, red hair, and blue eyes. This is Levana as I see her and how she'll appear in my story.


	2. Chapter 1: Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains non-graphic descriptions of childbirth and mentions of blood.

She was the single most beautiful thing she had ever laid eyes on before. That was the only thought Levana had as she gazed at the tiny baby swaddled in a cocoon of blankets and fast asleep in the gilded bassinet. She gently traced a long painted nail across the baby's face as a soft smile she couldn't yet hold back graced her own face. A perfect little girl.

Five hours ago she had been in most excruciating pain of her life, even worse than from the 'accident'. She had stumbled her way down to the medical section of the palace alone, hand clutching her stomach. A girl who looked far too young to be a nurse had seen her almost the moment she had arrived on the floor and had quickly helped her into a wheelchair. Two older nurses had helped her out of her clothes (to prevent them from becoming ruined) and into a more spacious robe. She had been taken into her own room and helped into a large bed. Levana had moaned and rolled about in agony while more doctors and nurses that she had ever seen in one place before fluttered about around her like incessant moths. A glass of water, a cool towel for her forehead, and some meaningless niceties was all they could provide for her: the rest was her job. Two hours were spent just **waiting** for nature to take its course. Two hours of continuous and growing pain. Two hours and still no Evret.

They had grown apart these past few months. Levana had hoped that knowing she was going to have his baby would make Evret more agreeable, more loving. But, if anything, it had only served to make him even more distant. She had been expecting happiness or elation when she had told him the news – she had only been met with shock and then disgust. But still, she had expected him to show up for **this**.

Channary had had a similar reaction to Evret, only hers had been shock and then rage. She had gone so far as to slap her, and called her a whore. A whore, that was laughable considering how many men Channary had been through already while she had only had one. And yet, it was Levana who was having a baby while Channary wasn't even pregnant yet. It would be another thing she had that Channary didn't.

She had almost been relived when the doctor had a last told her it was 'time' but the relief had been very short lived. The act of pushing only amplified the pain more than ever; the first touch of it had stolen her breath away. Two nurses had come to help support her shoulders and had what she assumed to be comforting smiles on – they didn't do anything for her at all. It was beyond difficult to concentrate on following the directions from the doctor while still maintaining the focus on her glamour. It had always been so easy to hold up, in fact it had been a struggle to let it go that one time to show Evret, but now it felt like it was about to fall apart. Perhaps it was the pain clouding her mind that was to blame.

How much longer was this going to take? It hadn't felt so long only 11 months ago when she had 'escorted' Evret to the medical center and waited outside. It hadn't seemed like it had taken that long at all. She glanced at the clock. 11:18. The doctor's tone stole back her attention and she continued.

11:28

11:30

11:33

11:37

11:40

11:45

11:50

Exhaustion was beginning to set in, although the amount of pain had seemed to even out. What was she doing wrong? Why was nothing happening? Where was Evret?! The nurse on her right wiped her forehead off for what must have been the 60th time as she tried to catch her breath. She saw the clock tick to 11:51 before the nurses pushed her back up again to keep going. The doctor's droning tone rang out again and she complied once again. And then suddenly there was a fresh spike of pain and she couldn't quite bite back the scream fully. Pressure and more pain and then another spike that stole her breath away. The doctor sounded more animated now. Had she really just heard that? Had he truly said 'just one more?'

Internally crossing her fingers that she had heard correctly and it wasn't just the pain causing her to imagine it, she complied. And then suddenly the pressure was gone and pain just tapered off. It was so sudden she wasn't prepared at all for it and collapsed backwards onto the stack of pillows. She glanced back at the clock to see it was now 11:55 but then a sound stole her attention. Crying. She blinked as the doctor rounded the bed and placed the source of the noise onto her chest.

A little baby, still partially coated in blood and covered with a blanket, was the source of the wailing. It took her tired mind a moment to piece together that this was HER baby. Levana didn't feel so tired anymore as she gently touched the tiny hand and watched in fascination as the fingers curled around her own. An emotion started to bubble up from inside her. It was the same emotion she had always felt when gazing at Evret only it was infinitely stronger. She smiled down at the tiny child with a real smile that was in no way forced or faked. So this is what it felt like to be a mother.

The doctor only gave her a few moments with her child before the still wailing baby was scooped up and taken off to be cleaned, dried, measured, weighed, inoculated, and dressed. She watched until the doctor's back turned the corner and she could no longer see him before resigning her attention back to the nurses. There was some further 'work' and then cleanup that almost made her sick but she barely managed to keep her stomach in check. Standing was hard but the prospect of a quick shower to wash off all the blood and sweat had been enough of a temptation to allow the nurses to help her up and into the bathroom. She had refused to allow them to stay and bathe her for while her glamour hid her image well, it did not disguise touch. Five minutes later she felt much better all clean and back into her original clothes which were now much looser on her than they had been hours ago. The nurses helped her back into bed (she noted they had changed the sheets and pillows in her absence) and provided her with something to eat.

There was still no sign of Evret.

She kept glancing back at the hallway hoping to catch a sight of the doctor returning with her child. Her child. It still felt strange to thing she was now a real mother, that she had a child of her own. Yes, there was little Winter but there was a difference between having a child and having your own child. She still hadn't picked a name. Sure she had pondered about a few and written down some after the doctor had confirmed it was a girl but none had stuck her fancy. Levana had been sure that once she saw the baby she's just know what name to pick. It had to be the right name – the perfect name for her Princess.

The nurse came to collect her plate and asked if there was anything else she needed. Levana just shook her head. What she needed was for time to move faster but the nurse couldn't give her that. Time seemed to move so slowly. And then, at last, she caught the flash of white out of the corner of her eye and was overjoyed to see the doctor returning with her daughter in hand. The wrapped bundle was gently handed back to her and Levana clutched the little girl close to her chest.

“Everything looks great with her, Princess. Seven and a half pounds and twenty-one inches long. All she needs is a name.” He smiled down at her.

Levana pursed her lips in thought, her eyes glued to the face of her little daughter. Her skin was a cool sepia brown, not quite as dark as Evret's umber tones but darker than her own natural tawny skin. Her eyes were chestnut brown with little lashes that made her look even more precious to Levana. But it was the few strands of hair which caught her eyes most. It was not the black as night ebony color that Evret and Winter had nor was it her own cardinal red, which she hid behind her glamour, but rather it was jacinthe, as orange as the fruit she often ate in the morning or the color of flames. It was bright and vibrant, an almost burning color to look at like a morning star.

A star... _Astron_ meant star in Greek; it had been a name she had considered before she had know her baby was to be a girl. Still she had liked that name more than most and seeing the child's hair had only enforced that choice. Astron. Astronema. Before she had realized it she had spoken the name aloud but it felt so right on her tongue.

“Princess Astronema Blackburn, is it?” The doctor asked.

Hearing the name said by another person only confirmed it in her mind. She nodded. The doctor smiled, and wrote it down. There was a spot for her to sign, a copy made for the official records, and then Levana was off with the document tucked into her pocket and her daughter, her Astronema, in her arms.

The journey back to her chambers went mostly uninterrupted. Most servants ignored her entirely but the cook's assistant, a slip of a girl who had spent the past nine months making sure Levana got her 'special breakfast', had stopped and practically squealed upon seeing the little baby she was holding. There was a barrage of sincere compliments on how cute Astronema was, how perfect the name she had picked was, and how lucky she was followed by some questions about whether **she** was okay. Levana had stopped briefly to answer her back (and to let her fawn over Astronema) before continuing on her way. She had only encountered one other whom had stopped: a young thaumaturge named Sybil whose face Levana only recognized due to her accomplishment at such a young age. Sybil had bowed to her and had offered her 'congratulations' before Levana had walked off.

Her quarters were predictably empty: no Evret in sight. She laid Astronema down in the little gilded bassinet she had prepared months ago and, once she was sure Astronema was still asleep and there was nothing dangerous around, went looking for the nanny who took care of Winter. She was easy to locate within the rooms designated to Evret (although Evret was still nowhere to be seen) and, after the nanny had done some of her own congratulating and fawning over Astronema, Levana had followed her into the tiny kitchen with Astronema in her arms.

Levana had already decided she was not going to make the same mistakes that her mother had. Jannali had handed over Channary and then Levana to nannies within hours of their births and had had precious little to do with raising and caring for either of them. She was not going to make that mistake. Astronema was not going to grow up to resent her mother, to barely get to see her own mother. No, not at all. Levana was going to do everything for Astronema; she would want for nothing. She had said it months ago to Channary in regards to Winter but she meant it even more now for Astronema.

So she watched the woman prepare the formula with hawk eyes. She asked questions about how long to heat it for and how to know if it was hot or too hot. She let the nanny demonstrate with Winter how to properly hold a child when it was time to feed them and adjusted Astronema in her arms accordingly. She held the bottle just right and followed the woman's feeding instructions exactly. And then when Astronema was fed, burped, and back in the safety of her bassinet, she had dismissed the nanny back to Evret's rooms.

Levana laid herself down on her own bed and stared at Astronema with a smile. She had positioned the bassinet to be close enough for her to be able to grab Astronema from her bed if needed. Watching her little girl sleep away, Levana sighed. She was perfect. This was going to work out. Now all she needed was for Evret to show up, take one look at Astronema, and fall in love with the baby (and back in love with her).


	3. Chapter 2: Irony

She must have fallen asleep watching over Astronema for the next thing Levana knew she was awoken by the sound of the door shutting. Momentarily startled, her first thought was whether Astronema was alright. To her relief her tiny daughter was still in the bassinet fast asleep. It was only then that Levana got herself out of bed and walked herself into the next room, the sitting area, towards the source of the noise. She wasn't too surprised to see Evret.

It was hard to stifle the part of her that wanted to charge up to him and demand to know where he had been and why he hadn't cared to show up for his own daughter's birth. But Levana squashed the feeling and forced herself to smile. He was here. He had came to see her or to see Astronema (or perhaps both). This could work out. She could make this work out.

“Evret, dear, how nice to see you. I had been wondering when you would come.” Levana forced her tone to be soft and sweet.

Evret looked uncomfortable standing there as if he didn't quite know what to say or do. After a long moment of silence, which felt like minutes to Levana, he finally spoke.

“Mischa told me that you'd had the baby. Went on for a while about how cute she was and how I should go and see for myself.”

Evret's tone was slow and careful and it took Levana a moment to remember that Mischa was the name of the nanny who took care of Winter. She didn't miss the way Evret's eyes went to look at her stomach as he spoke.

“So it's true then?”

Levana smiled. “Of course, my dear. Come. Come and see her.”

She turned without another word and headed back into the bedroom. She bent over and easily scooped Astronema up. The movement woke the little girl up but Levana shushed her softly and gently rocked her. The fussing stopped almost immediately and Levana smiled down at her. The sound of Evret's footsteps coming closer at last reached her ears and she turned gracefully to face him as he arrived in the doorway. His dark chocolate eyes went immediately to the bundle in her arms and he stepped closer and closer still to her until they were barely a foot apart.

“Would you like to hold her?”

Levana broke the silence with a simple question. Evret's eyes fluttered up to meet her for a fraction of a second and then he slowly nodded. She carefully handed over her little girl, making sure Astronema had a proper spot in Evret's arms before fully releasing her. But even after handing her over, Levana didn't step back. She simply stood and watched him gaze at their little daughter. She watched Evret's eyes as he studied the baby's tiny face: her small lips, her little nose, her chestnut eyes with the tiny lashes. His eyes moved up and his expression changed to slight confusion as he took in her hair.

“Orange?” Evret mumbled the word.

“I prefer the term jacinthe but, yes.” She intoned softly, the same smile once again adorning her face. “It's a lovely color, is it not? So bright and vibrant.”

Evret turned his gaze up to meet hers straight on for the first time. “It's hideous.”

Levana blinked. The smile vanished off her face in an instant as shock washed over her. What?

“It's unnatural.” Evret's voice had gone harsh. “It looks like a messed up dye job from a third rate salon or a child's first failed attempt at a glamour. It's utterly garish. I can't believe that you left her with this color considering how much you value your own appearance.”

Her shock quickly transitioned into rage. How dare he! With almost inhuman speed she snatched Astronema from his arms and pulled the little girl close to her chest. Evret took a step back, his face a picture of surprise.

“It is not hideous, it is not unnatural, it is not garish. It's perfect. She's perfect the way she is. My star. My Astronema.” Her tone was sharp and filled with suppressed rage. “Have you forgotten the flowers I chose for the wedding? The color I have the chef make my birthday cake? My favorite dress's color? The blankets I chose for her bassinet?”

When Evret didn't answer her she continued. “The bouquet was marigolds, begonias, and roses: all orange. The cake is always orange. My dress is orange; the blankets are orange. It is my favorite color. It's bright and warm and happy.”

Her rage was quickly fading being replaced by something akin to sorrow and horror. If the normally reserved Evret was calling Astronema's hair garish, what were others going to do? She could almost imagine the gossip now: the Ugly Little Princess's daughter is just as ugly and strange as her mother. She thought Astronema's hair was perfect but what she thought hardly mattered in the eyes of the Artimisian Court. If she was Queen, it would be a different story. If she was Queen then anyone who dared talk of her daughter's hair in such a way would be punished most severely. But she wasn't Queen: Channary was.

Stars, Channary would tear the poor girl apart. She could only image what her sister would say to Astronema as she got older. And the court would follow likely Channary's cruel ways and turn her little Princess into a laughingstock. She clenched her free hand into such a tight fist that her long nails began to dig into her palm. What kind of mother couldn't protect her own child?

A pair of hands grabbed her clenched fist and forced her fingers away from her palm. She could see divits in her palm where her nails had dug into the soft flesh before the hands grasped it tightly. She turned her gaze back up to see Evret.

“I didn't realize you felt so strongly about this color.” His voice was back to being soft and kind like she always remembered it being.

“I don't want her to have to hide who she is.” She could taste the irony of the words as they left her lips. All she had ever done was hide her true self. Even before the accident she had hidden her own red hair behind her glamour to keep Channary and the servants from whispering. Afterward, well, she had taken to hiding even more. She knew all to well her glamour looked nothing like her true self. Pale, brown eyed, and auburn haired – all things the real Levana was not. And yet now here she was wanting her daughter to not do the same. To not follow in her footsteps on this one thing. To not have to experience the kind of pain she had.

One of Evret's hands moved to grasp her shoulder gently; the old still held her free one tight. “So Astronema, huh?”

She nodded softly. “From _astron_ , the Greek word for star. The color reminded me of the burning color of morning stars.”

“It's a lovely name.”

Levana could only nod. It was taking all that she had to bite back the tears that had formed and were now threatening to fall.

“A lovely name for a lovely girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took on a life of it's own...I wasn't originally intending for it to go this way.
> 
> Does Evret really dislike Astronema's hair? Well, yes and no. He's not a fan of the color but likely he only voiced that opinion to make Levana mad...


	4. Chapter 3: Growth & Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astronema's first year

Evret had stayed with her that night for the first night in a long time. Laying in bed on her side with his arms wrapped around her waist, she had hope that this might go somewhere good. She didn't know if him staying was an apology for what he'd said about Astronema, out of guilt for not being there during the birth, or for some other reason entirely. Still the company was nice. Astronema had woken her up a few times needing a change or a feeding but Levana hadn't minded too much. Some things were worth the effort you put into them: a child was defiantly one of those things. As was a relationship. Maybe this was the start of a better one between her and Evret.

The change didn't last long though. Before that first week was out Evret was back to being distant and absent. He spent almost no time at all around Astronema although he doted on Winter. They had another argument in which she had accused him of not loving Astronema and Evret had said almost nothing and just left. She was mad at him, more so than ever, but Astronema's presence kept her calm.

Levana had caused quite a stir when she had shown up to court three days after Astronema's birth with her daughter in hand. Channary had barely given her niece a glance and had only asked why the child wasn't with a nanny. When Levana had affirmed her statement that she fully intended to not rely on other to raise her child Channary had scoffed and ignored her completely. Her reaction left Levana a bit happier than she had expected: at least Channary hadn't started teasing about Astronema's hair.

A month passed. Levana found herself more used to her new schedule with every day that passed. Preparing the daily bottles had become almost second nature to her and she no longer felt the urge to vomit when changing Astronema's diaper. She had noticed her daughter was a very agreeable baby: as long as Levana was holding her Astronema only cried when she needed something. She'd heard horror stories from servants about babies who wouldn't stop crying for anything for hours on end and was terribly glad that this wasn't happening to her.

She still brought Astronema with her to court every day that Channary decided to have it. Her sister had stopped complaining after the first few days when Astronema hadn't made a disturbance. She noticed Astronema was changing. She was able to ball her hands into little fists and grab onto Levana's fingers. Her eyes would move to see where sounds were coming from. And, just recently, she had reached up and grabbed onto a lock of Levana's hair. It was purely coincidence that a lock of her real hair was right where the glamour said her hair was. She had gasped when Astronema's tiny hand had grabbed it all of a sudden and then smiled. The moment had gotten written down in her so-called “Baby Diary”.

At two months she added in Astronema's first real smile to the diary. Her daughter was now following the movement of her face and would often reach up towards her dangling earrings. At three months she first saw Astronema hold her own head up for the first time while lying on her stomach. She was making little soft sounds too that always made Levana smile and coo back. Her hands were always moving towards her mouth now and Levana was constantly making sure they were clean.

Four months old and Astronema was now able to roll over while laying down. She had been able to finally start her on some baby foods. Mealtimes were now held at the table with Levana feeding Astronema and watching Mischa help Winter, who was in the stage of poking her food with her fingers. Mischa told Levana that it was the first sign going towards being able to feed yourself but all Levana saw was a mess. Evret's presence was rare during mealtimes and, during the times he was there, his focus was entirely on Winter. Levana tried cornering him and forcing him to spend some time with Astronema but Evret always seemed to want to get away as soon as possible. Levana began to wonder if he was running from her or from Astronema.

At five months old, Astronema surprised her once again. Levana had been at her vanity, Astronema in her lap, trying in vain to attach a hairpin to her real hair in such a way that it would also make sense with her glamour. Normally she would have just glamoured the pin on but it had been a gift from little Winter and Levana was trying to get Evret to react by being more involved with her. The pin had fallen off for the umpteenth time and fluttered down towards Astronema who had seen the bright colors coming towards her. Her little hands had reached up and she had swatted towards the pin with a giant laugh. Her first laugh, one of many to come. Levana had eventually given up putting the pin in her hair and had let Astronema wear it instead which little Winter had apparently liked too.

In Astronema's sixth month, Levana paid a visit to the doctor and was nearly run over by an utterly irate Channary who came charging out and brushed past her without even noticing Levana's presence. She had noticed recently how Channary would look over at Astronema out of the corner of her eyes when she thought no one was watching. She had passed by Channary's room once to see her standing in front of the mirror with her hand by her middle. She had heard the rumors going through the court – that Queen Channary was having issues trying to get pregnant. The not even the doctors knew what was wrong with her. A part of Levana felt pity for her sister who might never get to feel what she could. But a part of her was also filled with hope – hope than Channary would NEVER be able to have a child and that the throne would go to her.

By month seven, Astronema was eating lots of different baby foods and no longer needed her bottle much if at all. She had begun making a list of what foods Astronema loved, which ones she would eat with encouragement, and which ones she hated. She was in the middle of adding to her list one night when Winter had pulled on her sleeve.

“Asti!” Winter had begun to call her sister by 'Asti' the only part of Astronema's name she could say. “Look!”

Winter pointed to the floor and Levana followed her finger. A smile quickly spread across her face: Astronema was crawling about. Winter toddled over to her on unsteady legs with a ball in hand and Levana watched for the next few minutes as the two sisters played. Astronema would crawl up to the ball and bat it away with one hand. Then Winter would go after it and roll it back towards Astronema. It was adorable.

It got even better when Evret arrived and tried to take Winter away only for little Winter to tell him 'no' and that she wanted to play with 'Asti'. Evret had resigned himself to leaning against the wall and watching Winter closely while avoiding eye contract with Levana as much as possible.

As the eight month arrived, Levana began to notice a change in Channary. The Queen was showing up later to her court sessions looking haggard and refusing to eat her normal morning treats. She looked positively ill and Levana felt her stomach knot: Channary was pregnant. She just knew it after all she had gone through the same thing herself. She wondered if Channary even knew yet.

It was the motherly side of her that had come out due to Astronema that made Levana pull her sister aside and ask the question. The way Channary's face had changed from annoyance at being held up to something akin to hope was something that would become burned into Levana's memory.

The next morning Channary was looking much more smug with herself than she had in months and Levana knew the news had been positive. All hope she had once had of being Queen faded away into darkness. The sensitive side of Channary that had briefly shown its head was gone and her sister was back to giving her snarky looks and even looking distastefully at Astronema whom she had gazed longingly at only a month ago. Astronema herself was starting to try and stand on her own by grabbing onto ledges and chairs. Levana found herself keeping a closer eye on her little daughter.

The wobbly standing turned into just standing and soon Astronema was standing up on her own without any support at all. Levana was constantly fawning over Astronema's accomplishments and she could tell her smiles were starting to annoy Channary. Her sister's morning sickness seemed to be fading away (probably with the help of some kind of medication) but she had noticed that every once and a while Channary would have this cough that didn't quite sound right. She almost said something but the memory of Channary's ungratefulness from only a month ago stopped her. It wasn't her problem, it was Channary's.

Levana's favorite moment from Astronema's first year was by far what had happened in month ten. She had had a particularly bad morning in court with Channary. Channary had been downright meaner that day for whatever reason although Levana suspected it was due to lack of sleep, judging by the bags under Channary's eyes. Her cough sounded worse and she had left half-way through and stuck Levana with the rest of her work. Having to explain again and again that Queen Channary wasn't feeling well to noble after noble was tiresome. Returning to her chambers, she got the news that Winter still had a cold from Mischa so it wasn't wise to let Astronema play with her. Despite being exhausted she had to sit with Astronema and play with her for a bit. She had just been getting up when it happened.

“Mumma!”

Levana had frozen and then spun to face Astronema in disbelief.

“What did you say? Astronema?”

Astronema had giggled at her and reached for her hair. “Mumma! Mumma!”

Levana scooped her up without hesitation and held her close. All the troubles of that day had just faded away. It was a good day – her Astronema could talk. The next morning during breakfast Astronema had said it again and again while reaching towards her. Evret had been sitting at the table and the look on his face had been priceless.

In month eleven, Levana started planning Astronema's first birthday party. The day would be a Saturday. She'd have to order a little cake with whipped cream instead of frosting so Astronema would eat it. Vanilla, not chocolate, since Winter didn't like chocolate too much. She would have invitations printed, 6 to be exact: one for her diary, one for Evret, one for Winter, one for Mischa, one Jenni (the cook's assistant who had helped her with the baby food), and one for Channary, even though she was sure her sister wasn't going to come to her niece's party. She picked orange as the color theme and Jenni volunteered to make the cake in lieu of a present when Levana had given the girl her invite. Evret's had been left on his bed while both Mischa and Winter had gotten theirs in person. The only one left was Channary's.

She found the Queen in her chambers looking awful. The cough sounded even worse and the fits were lasting longer. Levana handed over the invitation with a forced smile and noted that Channary was finally showing a small bump. Channary had taken the envelope without a word and, for the first time in months, Levana found herself being actually worried about her sister's health. There was no snide remarks as Levana helped Channary back to her bed and called for the doctor to come up. There was no thank you either.

A week before her birthday Astronema had another first – her first steps. Although she had been standing on her own for about two months now, Astronema had yet to be successful in taking any steps. She had tried but always tumbled onto her bottom. The first few times had been scary for Levana but she had gotten used to it once she realized that Astronema wasn't getting hurt. That evening she had been trying again under Levana's watchful eye. And then there was suddenly a step that didn't end in a tumble and then another and then a third. Levana felt her eyes tear up – her little daughter wasn't so little anymore.

On December 13rd, Levana had decorated the side parlor in orange for Astronema's birthday and had chosen the prettiest set of matching orange dresses she could find for herself and Astronema. Jenni came with a little cake complete with a candle and 'Happy Birthday Astronema' written in orange icing. Mischa had arrived with Winter who had made a picture for Astronema (and there was an adorable little dress from Mischa). To her surprise, Evret showed up although he kept as far away from both of them as possible. He had brought an orange bird plush toy, having obviously remembered the conversation that had occurred one year ago on this day. Channary was absent but Levana hadn't honestly expected her to come.

It was a wonderful afternoon filled with cake, laughter, and some cute playing between Winter and Astronema that got almost everyone laughing. Levana waited until nighttime to give Astronema her present: her first tiara. A delicate little thing made of rose gold and ambers. As she tucked Astronema into bed she could hardly believe a year had passed already.

Seven days later on the 20th of December, a loud knocking at the door interrupted dinner. It was Evret who rose from the table to answer the door leaving Levana sitting with Winter and Astronema and Mischa. A moment later he called her over. Levana rose and walked to the door to join Evret. Head thaumaturge Joshua Haddon was waiting at the door. There was a brief apology for interrupting followed by a single sentence that turned Levana's world on its head.

Queen Channary and her unborn child were dead.

Levana was going to be Queen of Luna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So from this point onward, I'm going to jump forward with each chapter. I doubt you all want chapter after chapter of Astronema as a toddler.


	5. Chapter 4: Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levana becomes Queen. The family suffers a loss.

She barely slept that night. Shock and excitement kept her awake for most of the night. She kept hearing it over and over again in her head. She was going to be Queen. Levana was going to be Queen. Queen Levana.

She paid no attention as to what she ate for breakfast and had to hurry to get herself dressed in her mourning clothes. With thaumaturge Haddon at her side, Levana had made the announcement that in the late hours of the previous evening Queen Channary had passed away due to an undisclosed illness and that the three days of mourning were to begin. Channary's funeral had been set for that Tuesday.

After making the announcement and checking that Mischa was going to watch the girls, Levana headed downstairs to the medical section to talk with the main doctor. She needed to know how Channary had died. Her sister's cough had been awful but surely she hadn't died from a simple cough? The doctor's answer had stunned her.

Regolith poisoning.

Levana wracked her brain: how in the world had Channary gotten regolith poisoning? The problem was common in the mines but this was the royal palace not a mine. She very much doubted that Channary would ever set foot in a dusty, dirty mine. So how had she gotten sick? Has someone spiked her food or drink? She needed to figure this out.

Instead of heading right back upstairs, she opted to go for a walk around the gardens. Maybe the outside air would help her think. She rounded a corner into an empty hallway and altered her glamour with a quick thought. She gave herself dark skin like Astronema and black hair like Winter. She needed to think and having servants and nobles walk up to her, the soon-to-be Queen, would not do. In this glamour no one would ever know it was Levana. As she walked around the gardens, she tried to think of any way Channary could have come into contact with regolith dust.

And then she heard two servants, both dressed in their mourning clothes, whispering rather loudly about how the late Queen Channary had apparently liked to take all of her loves into the caves to do the deed away from prying eyes. Levana frowned, well that would certainly explain how she had inhaled the dust but... it all seemed rather...uncomfortable to her. How in the stars was doing that on rocks enjoyable?

~~~~~

The coronation took place on Wednesday after the three days of morning had come and gone. She stood on the center of the dais with a part of her still not believing this was actually happening to her. She had been born a second child, a little sister. She had known from a young age that the chance of her becoming Queen had been very, very small. She had watched Channary become Queen at a young age and have what she had longed for. She had briefly had hope after having Astronema when Channary was having issues that maybe she would be Queen someday in the distant future when Channary was old. But then Channary had gotten pregnant and that dream had died. And now suddenly, it had risen from the dead.

She wore a white gown and matching heels. On her wrist was single bracelet, the wedding ring was the only ring on her hands. She wore a crystal necklace that sparkled in the light and her usual glamour: pale skin, auburn hair, and brown eyes. She was beautiful, she was regal, she was going to be Queen.

On the dais beside her was Evret dressed in his formal white uniform. He looked important and well-dressed. It was odd to seem him in this rarely used uniform but she had to admit it looked good on him. Besides him holding onto his hand, was little Winter. Levana had picked out a pretty blue dress for her with a pair of matching shoes and Mischa had put matching ribbons into her curly hair. Holding onto her hand was Astronema. She had also dressed Astronema in blue, albeit a darker shade than Winter's, and had placed Astronema's tiara on her head, the symbol that Astronema was the crown princess.

The crown was placed on her head by Head thaumaturge Haddon and he officially declared her Queen Levana of Luna. The crowd below erupted into applause and cheers as she smiled. It was official. Queen Levana. The ugly little princess was now the Queen of Luna. Levana felt her heart soar: her world was perfect.

She was Queen she had always been meant to be, the Queen she had always wanted to be.

She was the wife of Evret whom had been her first love.

She was the mother of Astronema, her perfect little star, and to Winter, the kindhearted one.

For once in her life, everything was absolutely perfect.

~~~~~

Levana waited in the living quarters tapping her foot in impatience. She had tucked Winter and Astronema into their beds almost an hour ago and Evret still wasn't back. A year. She had been Queen for almost one full year now. One full year of royal duties, meetings, paperwork, and decisions. Some decisions had been easy like naming Sybil her new head thaumaturge and Aimery her second. Some had not been so easy and had kept her awake late. She was thankful that Sybil turned out to be just what she had expected: a hard working and driven young lady who did everything to perfection. With her and Aimery, Levana's job was a bit easier.

And, on top of all that she did as Queen, she was also still a mother who took care of her daughters. But Evret was not being as good of a father. It had been one full year where Evret had doted over Winter and basically ignored Astronema. She had lost count of how many times she's had to dry off Astronema's tears and hug the girl after Evret had rejected her. It was cruel of him to do this to Astronema, to take out the anger he obviously felt at her on Astronema. It was stopping tonight. Either Evret was going to start treating Winter and Astronema the same as she was trying to do or she would make sure he wouldn't get to see _either_ of his daughters. It didn't matter if she wasn't Winter's real mother: she was the Queen now. Her kingdom, her palace, her daughters, her rules.

At last the door open and Evret slunk inside looking rather tired. She waited until he shut the door before clearing her throat loudly. He looked up seemingly surprised to see her.

“Mind explaining why you're so late? I do recall you were supposed to put the girls to bed tonight an hour ago.”

Evret sighed. “I was working.”

“Your shift ended two hours ago.”

“I stayed late to make sure the new guard knew the route.” Evret. “I was busy.”

“And I'm not? I'm only running an entire country alone here.” Her words were sharp. “And on top of that, I'm the one taking care of my girls too.”

“Your girls?” Evret laughed. “You mean your daughter and your step-daughter. They're not both yours: Winter's mother was Sol.”

She bristled. How _dare_ he. She forced as much venom into her next statement as possible. “I am more of a mother to Winter than you are a father to Astronema and she is your biological child.”

Evret physically flinched as if she had slapped him. He stared at her, eyes brimming with something akin to rage but Levana cut off whatever he was going to say.

“If you want to compare parenting skills, then lets. I play with both of the girls together; you take Winter off somewhere and leave Astronema behind. I buy them both presents; you bring home a pile of gifts for Winter and pretend Astronema doesn't exist. I bathe them both and tuck both of them into bed; you only look after Winter.” She intoned her words carefully and sternly, the voice she often adopted in court to speak to the nobles who weren't too bright. “I've never said anything negative about Winter where as your first comment upon seeing Astronema was about how ugly her hair was. And to top it all off, I've never made Winter cry. But I've lost count of the times you've reduced Astronema to tears.

“This ends tonight; I'm not going to allow this continue one day longer. Whether you like it or not, they are **both** your daughters. Either you start treating them the same or I'll make sure you see **neither** of them ever again.” She sat down on the chair by the table, crossed her arms, and stared at him with a smirk.

“You can't do that!” he practically screamed at her.

“I am the Queen; I can do whatever I want.” She retorted. “I'm sure it will be quite easy to convince the board of child welfare that your complete and utter negligent behavior towards your own daughter Astronema is grounds for removing both of the girls from your presence. After all Winter rather likes me whilst Astronema could go on for hours about how you ignore her. I'm sure they will all easily agree that the best thing for both girls is to keep them together, being such good sisters, and thus that they should remain with me: the one of us who takes care of both of them. That's just logical, dear.”

Evret clenched his fists. He looked angry, frustrated, and sad all at once. He opened his mouth to say something but their argument was interrupted by a sudden loud shriek. Evret was gone in an instant and it took Levana's mind a moment to understand that the scream had come from the girls' room. From Winter or from Astronema. She all but threw herself to her feet, the chair she had been sitting on tumbling to the ground as panic began to set in. Which girl had screamed? She realized as she began running after Evret that it didn't matter: they were both her girls.

Levana threw the door open and shock froze her in the doorway. The far door into the hallway was wide open. The chairs that surrounded the girls' table had been knocked over and little dishes littered the floor. Winter's bedsheets were torn: a large slice was clearly visible in the pale blue sheets along with tiny red spots which must have been blood. Astronema's bed was tossed but not damaged; the sheets in a tangle upon the floor.

A whimper drew her eyes to the far corner. Winter was crying, tears flowing down her face in little rivers, and a fresh cut marred her right cheek. She was staring at Levana now, panic and fear running rampant in her brown eyes. Crouched beside her, Astronema was clutching her forearm, which she could see had a long and blood cut upon it. Her face was a mixture of pain and fear: her eyes focused on something else.

Levana followed her gaze: in the center of the room Evret was grappling with someone very familiar over a long bloody knife. Haddon. Shock turned into rage and it was far to easy for her to take control of Haddon's distracted mind and force him to his knees. She tore into his mind with no regard; the need to know **why** he had gone after her girls, after her **family** was overpowering all common sense. She easily found what she was looking for. Channary. Haddon had been Channary's lover and likely the father of the child she had died carrying. There were snippets of a conversation, a promise from Channary about becoming king... Disgusted, she tore herself free of his memories in the most violet way possible not caring if it turned Haddon into a vegetable. She was mid-way through her rampage when another scream rang out.

Blinking back to reality, she saw. Evret had collapsed and Winter had rushed to his side. Astronema had since moved to the door and pressed the panic button: Sybil was already here. She fell to her knees besides Winter over Evret and could clearly see the multiple stab marks marring his chest. Her hands rushed to cover them, to stop the blood from pouring out.

“Evret!”

His eyes found her face: they were dis-focused and cloudy. He moved a hand up to grab at hers.

“It's alright, sweetheart.”

His voice was rough and strained. Levana internally blanched; he hadn't called her sweetheart in years. This was not a good sign. She was only vaguely away of Sybil shouting to someone in the background: her focus was on Evret.

“Promise me.” Evret was focused on her. “Promise me you'll take care of them. Of Winter. Of Astronema.”

She nodded ferociously. “Of course I will.” It was taking everything she had to not cry.

A doctor arrived and quickly knelt down beside Evret's form followed by an assistant and then yet another doctor. She stood and moved out of their way, giving them room to try and save her husband. Evret's hand brushed against Winter's face. He smiled.

“I love you Winter.” he whispered softly. The hand pressed onto her collarbone. “Go. Go with your mom.” He pushed Winter towards her.

In the moment Levana didn't even realize that it was the first time Evret had called her Winter's “mom”. She merely grabbed Winter's shoulders and pulled the hysterical child away from Evret. Aimery had arrived behind her at some point and he took scooped up Winter with ease and carried her away into the other room. Levana turned back to find Astronema only to find her now standing over Evret too, an unreadable expression upon her face.

“I'm sorry: I wasn't the father you deserved.” Was it just her or did Evret's voice sound weaker? “Take care of your mom for me.”

Astronema just nodded. She could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. Astronema seemed frozen in place, unable to move at all. It was Sybil who grabbed her hand and tugged Astronema over to Levana and then led both of them into the main room.

They sat at the dining table, the same table that only minutes ago Levana had been arguing with Evret at. Aimery had sat next to Winter, who still hadn't stopped crying, and was trying to calm her by rubbing her back. It wasn't working. Sybil led Astronema to the chair across from Winter and sat her down: Astronema's face was blank and she moved almost like a marionette guided by strings. Sybil righted the chair Levana had knocked over earlier then gently took her hand and led her to sit down between the girls. Levana was surprised to notice her hands were shaking; the blood on them wasn't surprising.

Sybil called a new doctor from her porto who arrived in mere minutes. Levana watched in detachment as he cleaned off her bloody hands with a wet towel then went over to Astronema. The doctor clean off her arm and wrapped the cut in bandages. Winter was next; a small bandage covered the mark on her cheek. Sybil came back from the kitchen with mugs: hot chocolate for the girls and tea for Levana. Levana just stared at the cup of hot amber liquid.

How could this have happened?

She let Sybil and Aimery tuck the girls into her own bed once they had calmed down a bit and their drinks had been consumed. She remained rooted in her chair, unable to move. Her thaumaturges returned and took the seats on either side of her, both silent. She was grateful for their presence; her choices had been wise after all. She didn't know how long she sat there with them sitting on either side of her: it could have been minutes or it could have been hours. But eventually the door opened and a doctor entered.

He shook his head no.

Levana's world splintered. She had just gotten everything back to normal again. She had just gotten everything and everyone adjusted after that shocking night had happened a little over a year ago. Now what? Now it was just her...just her and two young girls...two young girls who probably needed their mother right now. She numbly rose from her chair with a nod. She found she didn't even have to speak: Aimery went with the doctor without being told and Sybil bowed, then followed. Good choices indeed.

She took a deep breath and then headed for the bedroom. She wasn't too surprised to see Winter and Astronema were both still awake. She sat down between them. There were no words spoken: the absence of the fourth member of their family was the telling sign. Winter started crying again and Levana looped an arm around her, pulling the child against her. Astronema automatically moved to fill the other spot against her side, tears were falling down her face too. Levana just held them and joined them in their tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this time line is adjusted due to the presence of Astronema. Levana is Queen for about a year before Evret's death and, unlike in the canon, has nothing to do with his death. In this story Levana loves Astronema and she cares for Winter too. As much as Evret annoyed her to some degree, the fact remains that he IS Astronema's dad, her daughter's dad. She would never kill Evret for fear of what it would do to Astronema and what would happen if Astronema ever found out it was her. Levana would do just what she threatened: make it so Evret can't see either girl to punish him.


	6. Chapter 5: First Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astronema and Levana have their first big fight. Astronema is around 5 years old in this chapter.

 

She was so mad. Mad, mad, mad, mad, mad! Why?! Why did she have to go to all these stupid lessons and learn all this stuff when Winter didn't? Winter was older than her so she should have more lessons that her, right? That's just what made sense, right? So why? So why did she, Astronema, have to go to classes all morning and afternoon long when Winter just had two and could spend the rest of the day playing around? It wasn't fair, not fair at all!

Astronema frowned as she stomped around in her room. She had been trying to figure out just why this was happening for a while now. And thinking meant pacing and stomping around. That just helped Astronema think. She had been thinking and thinking and thinking but still, nothing! Mother was just being silly about all this! Surely she had accidentally switched their schedules? Surely it was Winter who was supposed to be doing all this work while she wasn't? Winter was a full year older than her after all. Yes, yes, that must be it! All she had to do was talk to mother about this after dinner and get everything figured out! She'd be back to relaxing with her portscreen by tomorrow!

~~~~~

She should have known to not bother mother that night. She should have seen the signs. She really should have known better.

She was so stupid.

Astronema should have noticed how on edge mother had been during dinner. How her mother had stabbed at her food with more force than usual. How her mother had drank not one but **three** glasses of wine. How her mother hadn't asked her or Winter how their days had been as she normally did. How her mother had snapped at the servants for no reason at all. How her mother had all but stomped off after dinner immediately instead of kissing her forehead as she always did.

But she hadn't.

Astronema had waited a little while after dinner before going to see her mother. She had knocked on mother's door and stuck her head in with a smile. She had missed the subtle look of annoyance that had been present on her mother's face. She had been so, so stupid.

“Good evening, mother.” Astronema smiled widely. This was going to be easy – it was just a simple schedule mix-up! She'd explain and be out of mother's hair in no time. She didn't even shut the door.

“What is it, Astronema?”

Did mother's voice sound tired? Well she had just had a long day – being Queen wasn't easy after all! Even more reason to make this nice and quick. She walked towards mother's desk.

“I was just wondering if maybe there'd been an accidental mix-up with the schedules from this morning?” She asked softly. “I think this is supposed to be Winter's.”

Her mother extended a hand and Astronema happily plodded over and handed over the paper. Any moment now!

“No, this is your schedule, Astronema. I arranged these lessons for you myself.”

The paper was thrust back towards her. Wait...what? No, that couldn't be right.

“But...there are so many of them.” She muttered softly.

Her mother sighed. “Astronema, you are getting older. It is time you started learning about the world around you. You are a Princess, you are expected to be smart and well-informed. These lessons will help prepare you for the role you will play in the court in the future.” Her mother paused. “I chose the best teachers and tutors for you. You will learn all sorts of wonderful and useful things from them. You will do math and learn to add then subtract and more. You will learn to read, spell, and speak more difficult words. You will be taught how to write in cursive and sign your name like a Princess. You will learn science, discover how the world around you works, and be educated in the history of our kingdom. You will be taught how to control your glamour better and how to use your gift to manipulate others. And perhaps most importantly, you will learn how to carry yourself like a Princess, how to be regal and royal. I have prepared everything for you in order to ensure your success.”

Astronema frowned. It sounded like an awful lot of work for her. She was only five. Why did she have to start all of this right now? And why only her?!

Her mother turned back to her netscreen. “Now it's late, dear. Go off to bed and get your rest so you will be able to learn tomorrow.”

“But!”

Her mother turned back, the frown clear on his face. “But what, Astronema? Elucidate – explain. Do not just end off with one word. This is precisely why you need lessons.”

Astronema huffed. She didn't need lessons on talking! “Why doesn't Winter have to do all these lessons if they're so important? She's older than me and she has almost none!”

“Astronema, you are my daughter. I am only Winter's mother in name, not by blood. You are my child, you carry my blood within you. You are a Blackburn. You are this kingdom's crown princess.” Her mother spoke in **that** voice, the voice Astronema often heard her use in court when she was explaining something she thought was simple to a dummy. It stung. She was no dummy! She didn't need this tone!

Her mother continued on, unaware of Astronema's internal turmoil. “When the day comes for me to step down, it is you who will become Queen, not Winter. You will bear the responsibility of running this kingdom, not Winter. You need these lessons to prepare you for that.”

“I'm not a dummy, I know that!” Astronema called out in a whiny tone. “I just don't get why it's all of them right NOW. I'm only five! And Win's still gotta do something in the future – she needs some of this stuff too.”

“Astronema, you know I dislike that whiny tone. Cease immediately. That is not the way for a Princess to speak. You need to stop using those words as well. Dummy, gotta, and stuff are not words that should be used by a Princess.” Her mother's tone was rising, a clear sign of her growing annoyance. “Your sister will likely wind up marrying a noble and becoming a housewife – it is not necessary for her education to include thing she will not use. However you do need these lessons. It is never to early to start to learn.”

She was being scolded by mother. Astronema blocked it out as her mother continued on about how things had been when she was Astronema's age as her gut began to bubble with some mixture of shame, embarrassment, and anger. The feeling quickly filled her and then exploded out

“Why are you being so MEAN?!” she cut her mother off mid-sentence. “All of a sudden it's lessons and learning and duties and there's no time for anything else! You're saying I'm getting older and that I'm supposed to be more princessy but! But you're talking to me like I'm a stupid baby or one of those dumb servant girls! That's not how a princess is spoken to! Either I'm old enough to be a princess and to be spoken to like one or I'm too young to be a princess and I shouldn't have so many dumb lessons! You can't have both!”

Somewhere mid-rant she had started screaming without realizing it. The shame had faded away and anger had swiftly replaced it.

“Why don't I get a say in any of this? Why doesn't my opinion count here? If I'm supposed to be a princess!” Astronema carried on loudly. “It's too many! It makes my head hurt! I don't wanna! When am I supposed to have fun time? Don't I get to play anymore? I'm only five! I'm still a kid! I just want to-”

Pain exploded in her right cheek, stopping her mid sentence. She blinked in confusion. What? Her cheek felt like it was burning and she raised a hand to cup it. What? She turned her gaze back towards mother. Mother who looked furious. Mother who had stood. Mother who had her hand out. What? Realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

“You...you hit me...?”

Astronema supposed the proper term was likely 'slapped' but she didn't feel like saying that word. It felt dirty. 'Hit' felt dirty too. In all of her memory, she couldn't remember any time that her mother had **ever** hit her before or even tried to. It was incomprehensible. It was impossible. It was **wrong**.

But it wasn't. The stinging pain still in her cheek proved it.

“This conversation is over. You will be going to those lessons, Astronema.” Her mother was glaring down at her with all of her regal fury. “You are **my** daughter and you will do what I tell you. This is for you own good!”

The shock and confusion holding her in place suddenly wore off and a burning rage tinged with a hint of sadness took over.

“You're such a mean dummy!” Astronema shouted, tears beginning to form in her eyes. “If I gotta do stupid lessons and listen to you talk to me like this and hit me, then well! Maybe I don't wanna be a Princess! Maybe I don't wanna be your daughter anymore!”

She saw her mother flinch at her words but Astronema didn't care. In an instant her hands were reaching forward and, with a grunt, she shoved her mother as hard as she could. There was a bang as her mother toppled backwards and landed on her bottom, only barely managing to grab onto the desk chair.

“You're a big, mean dummy! I **HATE** you!”

And with tears now streaming down her cheeks, Astronema turned and ran out the still open door into the hallway. She heard her mother call out her name as she leapt through the doorframbut Astronema didn't stop running. Her feet carried her down the corridor and then down the stairs, which she took two at a time. Down one staircase then two then three. Finally she reached the ground floor but she kept running. She wanted nothing more right now than to be as far away from her awful mother as possible!

Her path took her towards the main hall. She brushed back guards and servants alike but none gave chase to her although several did turn to stare. As she reached the hall, she slowed to look around to decide which way to go. Going left would lead her back towards the palace gardens and the menagerie. But down that hallway she could see someone big and tall in a bright red coat: Aimery. Her mother's number two thaumaturge. He was big and strong and fast – he would catch her in no time at all and drag her back up to mother. So right it was. Right and down a flight of long stairs and towards big doors. And out of the palace. And out of the only home she'd ever known.

She paused at the top of those white stairs. The tall white staircase led down from the palace doors and turned into a bridge, a very long bridge over water. She could see lily pads floating on the surface, bobbing with the flow of the water. Over that bridge was Artemisia, the big and bright city she'd often gazed down at from windows in her mother's Solar. The city she'd always longingly looked down at but had never been to before. It seemed so much bigger and scarier now that it was closer to her. Did she really want to? Did she dare?

There was yelling behind her coming from inside. She took and deep breath and hurried down the stairs two at a time and then jumped down the final five. She dashed across the long, long bridge catching her shadowy reflection looking back at her from the water whenever she glanced. As she stepped across the threshold of the bridge and onto the white streets of the city, she chanced a glance backwards. Three figures were just arriving to the top of the stairs.

On the left and most apparent was Aimery in his red coat, his coloration and clothing standing out in drastic difference to the white palace behind him. Next to Aimery was a woman with long dark hair dressed in a white outfit trimmed in gold. Sybil, her mother's head thaumaturge. And next to Sybil with her hair not perfect and the sleeves of her golden dress uneven was her mother, her face not at all the serene mask Astronema was used to: panic was written across her face. Their gazes met for a moment and then Astronema tore her gaze from her dumb, stupid, mean mother's and she dashed on and around the first corner she could find, putting the trio out of sight.

~~~~~

The first thing Astronema did was glamour her hair. She was still not that good with her gift yet and for sure this illusion would not hold if someone were to press her, but for now it would do. She had learned after numerous court sessions that orange hair was not a common sight on Luna unless it was glamoured to be orange. Hiding her hair color by turning it brown would instantly make her unrecognizable: without her signature hair, her face was just another in the crowd. She changed the style too from curls to straight just to be safer.

She decided she would say her name was Mary if anyone asked and that she was seven years old, not five. Mary was a common name and she knew for a fact that noble children of age seven and up often wandered the streets of the market alone. After walking a few blocks, she had dug through her pockets and found her mini moth wallet. Huh, she had thought she had lost this ages ago. Checking inside, she found a few hundred dollars. It was too easy to smear a little mud from a planter on her dress without being noticed. Too easy to walk into a shop looking sad and buy herself a cheap new dress from a nice saleslady who bought her story about how she had gotten her dress dirty and how daddy was going to be mad. She had even convinced the lady to let her change in the backroom. Now in a new black dress, all it took was a smile and a please to convince the clerk to bag up her messy white gown into a bag and shrink-seal it. Now she had a new hair color, a new hair style, and a different dress – she was set! No one would find her now.

Astronema remembered the little booklet she had once had Mischa read her; it had been all about Artemisia. Recalling some of the things she had listen to and see pictures of, she decided to go sightseeing. A book was one thing but real life was another.

She gaped at the huge central fountain with its carved figurines and inlaid lights. She admired the patchwork walls of silver, gold, red, black, and white that circled the plaza. She walked down to the side of the water and looked at all of the flowers and fish. She visited the public museum and the library, which had way more books than the little palace library. She bought greasy 'street-food' that was supposed to be eaten with your hands instead of on a fancy china plate with silverware and enjoyed it immensely.

She even ran into a trio of noble girls and had spent some time having ice cream with them at a shop. Bella, Hailey, and Juno had treated her like she was one of them once she had told them she was a noble girl out shopping (her cash had helped convince them). They ate ice cream and chatted about this or that. Astronema was surprised that one of the things that had come up was herself, the Princess, and how Hailey dreamed of meeting the princess. She didn't dare tell Hailey she was fulfilling that dream right now.

But soon the girls were called away one by one by a nanny, a butler, and even a father. She had been left at the table alone, finishing her treat. As she exited the shop, she noticed the streets were emptying out – the nobles were heading home and shopkeepers were closing up. The light was dimming in the city as night began to set in. The shadows on the streets were growing taller and darker. It was beginning to look a little spooky out. But Astronema wasn't afraid. Nope, not at all. She was a big girl now – she wasn't afraid of the dark anymore. There was nothing scar – what was that noise?!

Okay so maybe she was just a little, tiny bit scared. Okay that was a lie. She was scared. The city didn't seem so inviting now. It was almost ominous now. She walked down an empty street past some homes belonging to some lower nobles. Through open windows she could hear voices and laughter and catch glimpses of children with their families safe in their homes. Maybe it was time for her to go home too?

No, no!

She didn't want to go back to lessons!

She didn't want to go back to Win who got to do nothing all day and would paint her beautiful pictures. She didn't want to go back to Sybil who she really didn't like at all except for that one time Sybil had stopped the guards from laughing when she had tripped down the stairs and scraped her knee which Sybil had bandaged for her and then not told mother about.

She didn't want to go back to Aimery who, despite looking mean, was a sweetheart who would scoop her up like she weighed nothing and carry her so she didn't have to walk when she was tired.

She didn't want to go back to mean, dumb mother who wanted her to take lessons and had hit her but had also been the one who had always held her and loved her most, even when she had been sick and all icky or dirty and covered in filth.

No, she didn't want that at all. She didn't miss any of that. Not one bit, not one tiny bit!

Astronema was a terrible liar.

~~~~~

It was only after wandering around lost in thought for what must have been another hour that Astronema realized she was lost. She had wandered deep into the city and she could no longer see the palace. Buildings and streets ran every which way in a literal maze. She wandered down one path only to return to the same intersection a few minutes later. It was impossible to tell which way she was supposed to go.

The air had gotten colder too. It wasn't too cold but just just cold enough to make her shiver every once in a while. Her feet were beginning to ache and her tummy was rumbling. She had missed her nighttime snack and milk. She hadn't taken her bath either. Maintaining her glamour was getting more difficult as she got tired. She had briefly considered just walking up to a random house, knocking, and announcing herself as the Princess Astronema, then demanding they take her in. But who knows what kind of nobles she would run into? Would they help her and treat her like their beloved Princess or would they be ones who disliked the queen and hold her prisoner? It was too risky to try.

She turned another corner and rubbed her bare arms with her hands to try and warm them. She was so distracted with how cold she was that she didn't see the little hole in the pavement until her foot landed partially in it. She fell to the pavement with a yelp, a twist, and a cry. Pain flared through her ankle. Astronema gingerly touched it and was met with more pain. Great, just great!

Standing back up became almost impossible: she found herself crawling on hands and knees towards the nearest lamppost and using that to brace herself as she stood. Her ankle hurt fiercely when she put pressure on it so she would up doing a hopping walk down the street for a little while. Eventually she couldn't do that anymore and was forced to walk on it; pain accompanied her every step.

Astronema headed down another street hoping this one would lead her to somewhere she recognized. But, to her dismay, she soon found herself back on the street with the hole she had tripped on. She was so dreadfully lost!

A little while later she found herself in a different area. She didn't know if she had wandered back into the tail end of the market area or further in by manufacturing but the buildings were no longer homes. Her ankle was swollen by now and very painful. A little rest was what she needed. She stumbled over towards a large building with an overhang and sat on the cold ground near the wall. Astronema grabbed her knees and held on tight. She was cold. She was hungry. She was hurt. She was lost.

She wanted to go home.

She wanted to see Aimery and Winter and even Sybil again! And mother...mother most of all. Her mother was going to be so mad at her, so so mad at her...and she deserved it. She had pushed mother and ran off. That wasn't very grown up. That wasn't very princessy. Mother was so going to ground her for **forever** for this! But she didn't care. Astronema just wanted to go home. Without warning, the tears just started flowing. And Astronema sat there in the dark on the cold ground with an empty belly and a hurt ankle crying her heart out.

~~~~~

She didn't know how long she sat there and cried before her tears at last stopped. She didn't know how much longer after that she sat there in the dark and in the cold alone. She had no watch to check. There was just her and the silent darkness: no light and no sound. Astronema pulled her knees closer to her chest but it did no good in comforting her. After a long time, she finally pulled herself back to her feet and began walking again.

The limp was noticeable now, even to her who normally tried to ignore things like this. The streetlights had gone out so finding her way around became more difficult. In the span of one block, she stumbled three times and fell to her knees once. On the next block, she fell and scraped her left palm bloody after narrowly avoiding crashing to the ground from her six previous stumbles. On block four, she walked off the path by accident and jammed her bad foot into a lamppost pole. By block six, she was sure was walking in circles again only now it was too dark to tell for sure.

Stumbling around a corner, her hand made contact with metal. A chair – no a bench! Dropping to her knees, she crawled under it and laid down on the stone. At least under here no one would trod on her, not that there was anyone out at this time, whatever it was. She sniffled slightly. No, she wouldn't cry again. She had cried enough already. She was a big girl. She was brave. She could do this! Astronema closed her eyes and tried to relax. Maybe if she cleared her head a bit, she'd think of a solution.

For a long, long time she laid there in silence with her eyes shut, trying in vain to calm herself. And then, there was a noise. Astronema opened her eyes, maybe she was just imagining things? No, no! There it was again. It sounded like....footsteps! A person! She concentrated on listening to the footsteps carefully. A bit of a scrape and a clunk. Something with heels but not heels like mother wore. Boots perhaps? Heeled boots. And the sound was light, sort of like mother. So a woman or a young man. It was still far away though.

Light! Some kind of light! It moved back and forth in a beam – a flashlight! Someone was going somewhere or looking for something with a flashlight! But wait – what if it was a bad person? A robber or a killer? Just because it was a flashlight didn't mean it was a good person. She rolled onto her stomach under the bench so she could get up quicker, just in case. She ignored the voice in her head that was telling her how she was not going to outrun anyone with her ankle.

The footsteps gradually got closer and closer. She still couldn't see who it was: the light cast too much of a glare. Closer and closer, the footsteps got louder as they closed in. Astronema held her mouth shut, afraid her breathing was too loud. And then a scrape very close by. She looked out from under the bench to the side. She could see a pair of white heeled boots with gold trim. White stockings or leggings or pants were tucked into the boots and above that was the end of a dress: white with gold trim. No! Not a dress – a coat. A thaumaturge coat – one that belonged to only one person!

“Sybil?”

She heard the sharp gasp and saw the boots move as the owner turned. For a moment she feared she was wrong and that it wasn't Sybil at all.

“Princess?” Sybil's voice came softly. “Princess, where are you?!”

Relief flooded Astronema's body. Yeah it was Sybil, one of her least favorite people, but right now she'd take anyone, even her.

“Under the bench.”

Astronema released the glamour over her hair; there was a scrape as Sybil quickly knelt down and shone the flashlight at her. She blinked in the bright light.

“Oh, princess!” Sybil whispered. “What are you doing under there?”

Astronema bit her lip. “I was trying to relax in a spot where no one would trample me.”

Sybil dropped the flashlight onto the pavement and reached under the bench with both hands. Astronema let the thaumaturge grip her around the middle and then carefully pull her out. Once she was propped against Sybil's knees the thaumaturge grabbed the flashlight and began to shine it on her.

“What happened to your ankle, Princess?” Sybil's voice came softly into her ear as the flashlight kept moving. “Oh, and your palm? And your face! Your cheek is all red!”

“I tripped...on a hole in the pavement and twisted it I think. The palm's from stumbling around in the dark on the bad ankle.” Astronema sighed. “The cheek is mother's fault.”

The flashlight paused in its motion and she heard Sybil click her tongue. Then, “Can you walk, princess?”

“Yes and no.” Astronema replied. “I can but not normally. Cause it hurts like hell and I'm limping and stumbling around.”

Without a word Sybil handed her the flashlight. There was a slight rustle as Sybil withdrew her portscreen from her pocket and did something before tucking the device away. She stood and then arms reached down and grabbed Astronema around the middle. Astronema blinked as Sybil lifted her up into her arms. Astronema found a place to rest her head against Sybil's shoulder as she pointed the flashlight ahead. Without any discussion at all, they were off.

“It's been hours and we've had no sign of you. We've been worried sick, Princess.” Sybil eventually said as they headed down a street. “Thank the stars you're safe.”

Astronema just mumbled. Yeah she was sure Aimery and Sybil were real worried. Worried that mother would punish them if they didn't find her was more like it. They rounded a corner and, by the light of the flashlight, Astronema recognized the market up ahead. So she hadn't been too far off after all. Just a little further and she would have found her own way.

As the passed through the plaza square, Astronema's ears picked up the sound of more footsteps. There were much more hurried than Sybil's had been. Light...slight scrape. More heeled boots? No, the sound was more hollow than boots – maybe just heels? Wait, heels? There was no way. There was no way **she** was out here looking too. Surely she had just sent Aimery and Sybil and maybe some guards. Surely it couldn't be **her?**

In the light of the flashlight she saw the figure approach from the far side of the plaza. The color of the hair was different and the gown was no longer gold but even from this distance Astronema could tell that, yes, it was. It was mother. Mother in a glamour running around the city dressed in her gown and heels looking for **her**. Her appearance was still pristine but it was likely just the glamour hiding the panicked, disheveled, and sweaty woman underneath. Her stomach did flips of joy and guilt.

They were noticed immediately and the gap was closed even quicker. Arms grabbed her and she was hastily pulled from the arms of one woman into the other's. Astronema found herself being practically squished against her chest.

“Oh, Astronema!” Her mother sounded relieved. “Thank goodness we've found you!”

She said nothing at all and just allowed her mother to squeeze her closer. More footsteps. She glanced to see Aimery arrive in the plaza completely out of breath. He had obviously ran the whole way back from wherever he had been.

“Good work, Sybil. Aimery.” Her mother's voice was soft and tired.

The two thaumaturges said nothing and simply followed behind as her mother began making her way back towards the palace with Astronema in her arms.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was? You could have been kidnapped! You could have been killed!” Her mother was ranting on. “Oh, Astronema! Never do that to me again!”

The hands squeezed her again.

“What happened to your dress? How did you get this one? You didn't steal it did you?” Her mother prattled on. “Oh, look at your palm – it's all scraped. And your ankle! It's swollen rather badly; we'll need to have that looked at.”

Still Astronema said nothing. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to feel.

~~~~~

She had been missing for all of six hours based off of the clock in the medical sector. For two of those she had been sightseeing and hanging out with those girls: for the other four she had been alone and stumbling in the dark. Six hours on her own. Six hours of Sybil, Aimery, and her mother looking for her. A part of her was indigent that her mother had brought this upon herself with that ridiculous schedule. A bigger part of her was being chewed up by guilt.

A doctor had cleaned her hand and treated her twisted ankle with a shot. Her mother had carried her up the stairs and then up the elevator. Her mother had undressed her and scrubbed her off in the bath alongside herself. Her mother had dried her hair, dressed her in her pajamas, and then called up a servant with milk and oatmeal for her. She had bathed in silence, she had dressed in silence, and she had eaten in silence. She still didn't know what to say. She still didn't know what to do.

When her snack was all gone and her face had been cleaned she was expected to be carried back into her own bed. Instead, her mother pulled her into hers. Kisses were pressed again and again to her forehead.

“Oh Astronema,” her mother whispered. “I'm so glad you're safe.”

“Sorry mumma. I don't hate you.”

Astronema thought she sounded on the verge of tears. Mumma...she had said it before she had realized it. Mumma...she hadn't called mother than in **years**. Mumma wasn't a word for a big girl, for a princess. It was a baby word. But it felt right.

“My little star, mumma's sorry too.” Her mother whispered gently as she rubbed a finger against Astronema's bruised cheek. “I should have never hit you. I should have never lost my temper with you.”

The arms pulled her in tighter. “You're my little star, the brightest thing in my world. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you.”

Astronema nuzzled her head into her mother's chest. “Mumma.”

“Sleep, my star. There will be time in the morning for everything else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with more main characters of an appropriate age now, I will introduce other POVs. Look forward to more Astronema and even Winter (although she'll be harder for me to write ). Also Astronema usually refers to Levana as “mother” or rarely "mumma"; keep in mind she's still a child so she wouldn't be calling her mom by her name at this age.
> 
> Also when I write from Astronema's POV you're going to see lots of strange words and sentences that are wrong. I tend to write her POV like her and she's a kid. Levana's POV is more mature and perfect :)


	7. Chapter 6: Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astronema hides

She zoomed around the corner at top speed barely paying any mind to the servants she rushed past or anything they were saying. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Sybil was such a stupid, stupid, stupid-head! She turned another corner and was happy to see no servants were present in the area. Quickly she tugged a footstool over from its place by the sink to the far wall and used it to help herself reach the counter. Climbing up, she opened the third cabinet and grabbed two packages of cookies. Moving further down the counter she grabbed a row of crackers from the sixth cabinet and a jar of peanut butter from the eight. They joined the cookies and her portscreen inside her little purse. A napkin followed.

She jumped off the counter, not even bothering to use the stool, and dashed towards the large fridge. It took all of her effort to move the huge door open and the effort left her panting. Reaching in she grabbed two oranges and a lemon from the fruit drawer then scooted over to the door and grabbed two bottles of her favorite soda. With all of her spoils tucked inside her now bulging purse, Astronema slammed the fridge door shut and took off again down the hallway.

_It was all Sybil's fault_ she told herself as she ran past more bewildered servants on her way to the forth floor. She climbed the stairs in a rush and almost knocked over poor Miss Nanci but she didn't stop and she didn't apologize. She ran off down another corridor and was pleased to see this one was empty. Wrenching open the door to the conference room, she stumbled inside. It was dark inside but Astronema made no move to turn on the light.

Instead she whipped out the tiny little flashlight that Aimery had given to her years ago and used the tiny beam to find her way to the far wall. On the floor, she found the grate and easily pulled it off. Shoving her bag in first, Astronema crawled in after it then reached back to grab the grate and pull it back into place. With the light to guide her it was easy to follow the narrow grate path back a few dozen feet until the path opened up into a small room surrounded on all sides by metal and wires. Astronema had found this place a month ago while exploring the palace maps. It had originally been intended to be a maintenance access point for the conference room portscreens. But midway through its construction the technicians had pointed out how impractical it was to have people crammed into such a small space and thus the room had never had a door installed: only the vents from the conference room led into it now. The vents were big enough for a slim adult to fit but not many would know this spot existed. It was the perfect hiding spot.

Astronema pulled out her portscreen from her purse followed by its charger. She couldn't use it for the signal would lead Sybil right to her. But if she put it in rest mode with the wi-fi off and plugged it in, the screen would still be lit and that light would be enough to illuminate the small room. With her new light source on, Astronema clicked the flashlight off and unpacked her goodies from her purse. She was planning on being her for a while. She wanted to stay long enough for stupid-head Sybil to drive herself mad trying to find her. And then for Sybil to have to go and tell mother that she had 'lost' track of the Princess. That would be perfect – having stupid Sybil be punished for being a stupid-head!

She was still mad and frustrated. Astronema didn't understand at all. Why was today different? Every Thursday was always the same: she had breakfast in mother's room with her, they got dressed, mother went off to court, and she got lessons. First was Mr. Hopper on Lunar history (which Astronema found fascinating) and then Ms. Nanci would come and she'd practice her writing and spelling. After that Jenni from the kitchen would bring her her morning snack (usually fruit and juice) and she'd play on her portscreen while she ate. Then it was Mr. Grunk drilling in the emergency procedures for the 1000th time followed by Mr. Hubin with a quick news lesson. After that Astronema always went back upstairs to her room and got her purse. The portscreen, the charger, and a book usually got shoved inside before she headed down to the dining hall and ate lunch alone. And when she finished lunch, she always went down the hallway and up the stairs to join mother for the afternoon.

Thursdays were usually public hearing days where the people from outside (mostly nobles) came in to see her mother and complain about this or ask for that to be done. It was fun sitting with mother and watching her be Queen. Mother always enjoyed her being there...so why not today?

Today Sybil had stopped her at the bottom of the stairs and told her no. Astronema had stared at her – what did she mean 'no'? Mother hadn't said anything at breakfast (she normally did if something was changing) so Astronema was supposed to spend the afternoon with mother! But Sybil continued to block her and told her to go 'do something else'. She had asked why and Sybil had remained frustrating silent. So Astronema had done something naughty: she had kicked Sybil as hard as she could in her shin and called her a 'stupid-head' really loudly then run off. She had enjoyed the look on Sybil's face when she collapsed to her knees in pain: it served her right! Astronema was the Princess after all, she deserved to know **why** she wasn't being allowed to see mother.

So Astronema had decided to hide. Firstly to accomplish her plan of getting Sybil mad and then punished. And secondly to try and hide from mother for a little while. No doubt mother would be furious when she found out that Astronema had attacked Sybil, run off alone, and taken food without permission. And mother was not fun when she was mad. That was why she and mother had a deal; they had made it a while back to prevent blowouts. If Astronema did something wrong but managed to escape getting caught until dinner time, then Astronema wouldn't be punished. If someone caught her then she would be punished. The first few times she had just run and kept moving but Sybil and Aimery were bigger and faster than her, so they has always caught her.

Then she started trying to hide. The hiding worked some of the time. In the beginning she wasn't good at it so Sybil and Aimery still caught her. But over time, Astronema had gotten better. They almost never found her now. But no matter how well Astronema always thought she hid, mother always found her with ease. She didn't quite know how; it was almost like mother just **knew** where she was. But this time she had an amazing spot! This time she'd for sure win for the first time!

~~~~~~

Time passed. Astronema was finding it hard to resist the urge to check the clock on the portscreen. She had finished lunch at 13:15 and arrived at the stairs to go see mother at 13:30. Then she had kicked Sybil and run away no more than a minute later. By 13:45 she had been in this hiding spot. She knew from experience that Sybil would look for her on her own for an hour until about 14:45. Then Sybil would reluctantly involve Aimery and they would look again together for about a half hour, checking places Sybil hadn't thought of. That would make the time 15:15. After that, Sybil would be forced to give up and go tell mother. It'd take her fifteen minutes to get to the throne room and explain. 15:30. And mother would yell at Sybil and then come look for her. If she could last till 15:30, she'd ensure Sybil would get in trouble. If she could last longer until it was 17:30, then she would win. But that was pushing it when it was mother looking for her.

She sighed and gave in, checking the clock on the portscreen. 14:30. She hadn't even been in this spot for an hour yet; Sybil was likely still looking for her on her own. Astronema groaned softly – waiting was hard! She glanced over at her snacks but she wasn't hungry just yet. If only she had a pillow... Maybe she could grab one?

There were two vents that led into this little room: one came from the conference room she had entered in from but the other went to this floor's security room. Those were always locked and unoccupied unless there was an emergency. There was a closet in this floor's room and Astronema knew that is where they stored the extra pillows for the conference room. If she grabbed a pillow from the conference room, Sybil would surely notice it was missing and thus focus her search on the room. But if she got one from the closet where there were tons of extras no one would notice. And since that door was always locked with a key, she'd have time to get back into the vent if she heard the door rattle.

With a grin, Astronema grabbed the mini flashlight from her purse and started crawling down the vent that led to the security office. There was no one inside. Getting the vent grate off was easy. Astronema was able to grab a spare pillow with ease too and retreat back into the vent. Shutting the grate was a little trickier but after a few tries she managed it. She crawled back to her little room with her pillow in hand. She placed her pillow on an empty spot and laid herself down. So her dress would get a little more dusty than it already was: big deal. With a huge smile, Astronema swiped the screen on her porto to put in into sleep mode (and shut the screen light off) and laid her head down.

~~~~~~

It was her stomach rumbling that woke Astronema up. Blinking, she rubbed her eyes then covered a yawn before sitting up. A swipe returned the portscreen to active mood and re-illuminated her little spot. Reaching for her purse, she grabbed the napkin and proceeded to tear her oranges apart and eat the juicy segments. She followed them down with one pack of cookies (6 striped chocolate delights) and half of a strawberry soda. Then it was peanut butter crackers and the other half of her soda. With her stomach settled and her messy fingers cleaned off via the napkin Astronema smiled. She pressed the clock function on the porto to see the time. 17:10

Her mouth dropped. 17:10?! Even if it had taken her ten minutes to get the pillow, that meant she had just taken a two and a half hour nap! Even more amazing was that she hadn't been found yet, not even by mother! Normally mother found her within ten minutes of Sybil or Aimery telling her that Astronema had run off. To think that she had lasted an hour and forty minutes was astonishing. The revelation that she only had **twenty minutes left** before she could say she won was even more shocking. Maybe this really was the ultimate spot!

A huge grin quickly spread across her face. She almost wanted to bounce in joy and celebrate. But, no, that was getting to ahead of herself. The last thing she needed to do was get all excited and loud and announce her presence to mother. She forced herself to take deep breaths and calm down. She could do this.

17:15. She packed the other cookies, the unused crackers, and the peanut butter back into her purse. She looked at the lemon just laying there alone and decided to eat that too.

17:20. She licked the last of the lemon juice from her fingers and put the rind in the napkin beside the orange rinds. Realizing there was no clean space left on the napkin she wiped her fingers on the underside of her dress, ignoring the memory of mother yelling at her for doing the same thing that seemed to automatically play.

17:22. Astronema opened the second soda and let the grape fizz wash away the sour taste in her mouth. The soda tasted even sweeter now than normal. It was probably due to some scieney term. She's have to ask Mr. Luto on Monday about it.

She spent three minutes drinking the rest of the soda, realizing there was no good way to transport it without sloshing it all over. 17:25.

Through the vents, she heard the sound of keys and the clang as the security office door was opened. Someone in heels walked in, their shoes clacking against the tile floor. She heard the rolling chair move, likely as whoever it was checked under the desk, and then the closet door bang open, some rustling, and then it banging shut. The heels retreated back to the door which was shut with a thud and another jingle of keys. Astronema held her breath the whole time: that was defiantly mother! The porto's clock rolled over to 17:28.

Though the wall between her and the hallway was thin, the hall was carpeted so she couldn't tell which way her mother's heels were going. There was a tense few seconds where Astronema tried her best to breathe very softly. And then the silence was broken when she heard the conference room door swing open and the lights turn on. Crap!

She heard the heels get closer and a slight rustling sound. She figured her mother had just checked under the couch that was against the wall by the vent. 17:29. A scrape as her mother likely stood and the sound of the heels faded slightly. There were three more couches in the room: Astronema heard as her mother checked under each one. Her eyes darted back to the clock – still 17:29.

Please move! She silently begged the clock. I can't lose right now with only a minute to go!

The heels were moving closer again, coming back towards the wall with the vent. For a moment, she considered hurrying down the vent towards the security office but knowing the metal would make such a loud sound she decided against it. Another slight scrape: her mother was likely kneeling again to check the couch for a second time. She heard the rustle of the couch's flap (did that little fabric part that hung down have a name?) and then -

BONG! The master clock in the center of the stairwell started to ring. Astronema glanced back at her portscreen: 17:30! Victory! She heard a distinct scoff through the vents.

“Alright, you've won now. Astronema, where are you? I know you're here somewhere.”

Her mother's voice floated through the vents. Astronema grinned.

“I'm in the wall, mother!”

“In the... wall?” Her mother sounded confused. “How did you get in there? Are you stuck?!” The confusion changed into concern mid sentence.

“I'm not stuck, mother. I used the vent.” Astronema giggled. “Why don't you come join me?”

It was a silly suggestion and Astronema knew it. There was no way her mother, the proud and regal Queen of Luna was going to crawl through a dusty vent unless her life was on the line (and maybe not still even then). Her mother was a proper lady who taught her how to eat nicely and how to act like a princess. Her mother was the one who corrected her behavior and told her to speak well and not use phrases like 'stupid-head' and 'bubble-brain'. Her mother always reminded her that one day Astronema was going to be Queen and these lessons would be important then so, no, it didn't matter if her sister Winter was allowed to say that word, Astronema wasn't. Because Astronema was the next Queen not Winter. So she had to be a lady.

Before they headed for dinner, her mother made her return the pillow to the closet and Astronema didn't even pout when mother took away the unfinished crackers, peanut butter, and cookies from her. They were twenty minutes late to dinner even though a Queen is never supposed to be late. Winter was already waiting for them at the table and Sybil was standing against the wall with her head down. Astronema internally marked this as a good day and a great first victory. She didn't ask why she hadn't been allowed to see mother that afternoon for it no longer mattered. She had gotten something better.

Her mother had crawled through that vent to see her.

Astronema had been beyond shocked when suddenly there was a pair of arms around her and she had turned and mother was now in this little space with her. She had stared gaping like a fish before a smile had blossomed across her face and she had grabbed mother tightly around her waist. On that day more than any other Astronema was sure of one thing: her mother was her mother first and a Queen second. And that's what Astronema hoped she could one day be too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the "deal" that is mentioned in this chapter is what happened after the incident in the previous chapter: a way for Levana and Astronema to deal with their problems without a fallout. After the last incident, Levana gave her this option to prevent Astronema from running off again.
> 
> How does Levana find Astronema? She looks for Astronema's unique bioelectric signature of course :) ((Astronema is too young to have figured this out yet))
> 
> Astronema is almost 6 in this chapter. ((Figure 6-10 months after the last chapter))


	8. Chapter 7: Festival

Astronema woke up with a huge grin on her face. She practically jumped out of bed and dashed over towards her desk to check the calendar. Sure enough it was the 20th of December. She jumped a few times in joy. Today was going to be a great day!

On this day five years ago, her mother had become Queen of Luna. Her mother had today off with no court and no meetings in honor of the day and even Sybil and Aimery didn't have to work today! Every year on this day there was also a huge festival thrown in Artemisia with stands filled with food, books, jewelry, games, and so much more in her mother's honor. Astronema had learned about this amazing festival when she was three but her mother had told her she was too young to go. Her mother had said the same thing when she was four. At age five, her mother had explained that the reason she could not go was because Astronema was too young to hold her glamour and thus she would be recognized instantly and swamped by people.

But since then, Astronema had passed her first glamour exam. She could hold her glamour for hours now without much effort. Winter could too although she often told Astronema it was harder for her. But still, they could both do it now! Maybe, maybe this year mother would say yes!

She gobbled her waiting breakfast down and smiled brightly at Winter when she came to join her.

“I'm gonna ask mom if we can go! We can both use our glamours now, so she can't use that!” She smiled brightly. “Maybe she'll say yes! We can do birthday shopping for you and me!”

Winter smiled softly at her and Astronema knew without Winter even saying a thing that Winter didn't think mother was going to say yes. But Astronema was going to try anyway! She finished her breakfast and headed off towards her mother's room with a wave back at Winter.

She was a little surprised to find her mother was still in bed asleep but then again her mother never really did get to sleep in. For a minute, she felt bad at having to wake her mother up on her one day to sleep in. But then her memory quickly supplied her with all the times that her mother had woken **her** up despite Astronema not having any lessons or obligations for the simple fact that it was 'unroyal' to sleep in. With a sly grin, she jumped onto her mother's bed.

“Good morning, mother!” She sang out as cheerfully as she could.

There was a groan and her mother batted a hand at her. “Hm?”

“It's time to get up, mother! It's 8:30 already.” Astronema chirped out happily. “You're late for breakfast.”

She heard her mother sigh. “A queen is never later.” She mumbled into the pillows.

“No, no, no. A lady must never mumble, it's rather unbecoming.” Astronema playfully tsk'ed.

A louder sigh.

“And it's very unroyal to sleep in.” Astronema continued. “That's what you've always told me. So rise and shine, mother – it's festival day!”

She smiled as her mother finally sat herself up and ran a hand through her messy auburn hair. “Astronema...”

“I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.” Astronema smiled sweetly. “You made these rules.”

Her mother shook her head softly and slowly got herself to her feet. Astronema jumped off the bed and followed her into the dining room. Winter was still eating and she looked up with shocked expression when Astronema came back in with mother. Astronema slid back into her chair and helped herself to some berries as her mother sipped the still hot tea that had been left for her.

“So, mother, any plans for today?” She asked with a huge smile after her mother had taken a few sips.

A shake of the head was her answer.

“Oh, that's great! Maybe we can go check out the festival than?”

A sigh. “Astronema, I have told you before that we cannot go down there because of how easily you will be recognized.” Her mother said sleepily. “It is not possible for someone to mistake you.”

“But I've passed my exams, mother. Me and Winter both have.” Astronema answered immediately. “Don't you remember? You hugged me and told me you were so proud of my progress.”

Her mother sipped her tea.

“So we just have to glamour ourselves now that we can and no one will know. Isn't that the point of a glamour – to be able to look like someone other than yourself?” Astronema said gently.

'There is a difference between being able to hold a glamour and being able to hold a convincing one.” Her mother stated. “If you look odd then heads will turn and you will attract attention to us. And-”

Her mother continued on while staring at her tea. Astronema turned to Winter with a smile. She pointed at mother under the table and smiled. Winter blinked then understood her meaning and smiled back. Astronema turned her focus to her glamour. She could see the image she wanted to look like so clearly in her mind: lighter skin, gray eyes, auburn hair that fell just so. She left her gift wash over her and her glamour change her appearance. Astronema glanced back at Winter to see her looking at her with the same face. She grinned and cleared her throat.

Her mother stopped talking, looked up, and stared at her and then at Winter. Astronema smiled cheekily back at her. Her mother's gaze swept back and forth a few times before she sighed and frowned.

“Fine. If you want to go so badly, we will go.” She relented. “Now take those off – it is dis-concerning to suddenly see two of me.”

Astronema dropped her glamour immediately. She hopped off her chair and strode over to her mother and hugged her around the middle.

“You're the best, mother!”

“Thank you, mom.” Winter said from the other side as she grabbed on for a hug too.

Her mother just sighed and shook her head. “I'm becoming soft hearted...”

~~~~~~

She dragged Winter off to their rooms the second her sister was done eating; they left mother picking at her breakfast at the table. They headed into Winter's room first and it took Astronema no time at all to pick out the plainest dress in her sister's closet. It was blue, of course.

“Remember, we gotta look more common!” She had told Winter with a smile. “So plain and ugly – like a servant!”

“The city is full of nobles, Asti.” Winter told her.

“But everybody who's a noble knows all the other nobles too! If we pretend to be nobles, we'll get caught and mother will get mad. So we gotta be peasants!” She had explained with a grin.

Winter frowned. “Mom won't be happy if she hears how excited you are to look like a peasant.”

“I think she'll be more upset about having to look like one herself.”

Winter blinked then giggled. Astronema joined in. Getting mother dressed was going to be, as Sybil often said, 'a chore'.

She left Winter to put on her plain dress and plain shoes and dashed off to her own closet. It was a littler harder to find plain clothes in her closet, which was stuffed full, but eventually way in the back she found a yellow dress that was a size or two too small. When she slipped it on, it looked short on her: perfect! Peasants didn't have much money so wearing a too-small dress would make her look more peasant-y. She quickly found a pair of matching shoes and was just tying the laces when Winter came in. With twin grins, they headed towards the room of the last person in their trio.

Mother's room was empty, however, and Winter stuck her head out the door to check. Sure enough, still eating breakfast with a frown. But that was a good thing – it gave them time to find a dress for mother! Trying to find a plain dress in her mother's closet was an impossible feat: everything was either beaded, embroidered, lacy, jeweled, or embellished with gold! She let Winter take a second look but she was sure there was no plain dress in there. That was going to be a problem. And then suddenly the answer came to her.

“Sybil!”

Winter looked at her with a confused frown.

“Sybil is the same dress size as mother – that's how mother picks out her clothes! She makes Sybil glamour herself and try them on so she can see how **she** would look in them!” Astronema explained. “So Sybil has the same dress size as mother! Guaranteed she has a plain dress!”

Winter smiled and nodded. “You're right, Asti! That's a good plan!”

Astronema grinned. They decided that Winter would find a plain pair of shoes in mother's closet while she ran down to Sybil's room to borrow a plain dress.

She caught Sybil just as she was about to leave. It was strange seeing her without her trademark coat but Sybil did look kinda nice in her dress. Getting a plain gray dress from Sybil look no time at all and Sybil had even told her to keep it; she didn't ask why Astronema needed it at all! She smiled, thanked Sybil, and ran the whole way back upstairs. Winter had found a plain pair of black shoes which matched well enough for their purpose. But mother was **still** eating breakfast

“She's stalling.” Astronema muttered. “I'm gonna go drag her in.”

She reentered the dining hall with a grin. Her mother gave her a smile.

“You know, Astronema, I was thinking.” Her mother said softly. “I do not think I own a plain dress.”

“We got you covered – I borrowed one from Sybil already.” Astronema told her with a smile.

Her mother's lips twitched. “You thought of everything, didn't you?”

“Yup, I did.” She giggled. “Come and get dressed; it's not ladylike to pick at your food.”

Her mother stood and followed her back into the bedroom. She stared at the plain gray dress with obvious distaste. “It's so....plain.”

“Everybody who's a noble knows all the other nobles so if we pretend to be nobles, we'll get caught. So we gotta be peasants.” Astronema repeated her reasoning. “And peasants means plain.”

Her mother frowned.

“We'll let you get dressed.” Astronema said as she grabbed Winter's wrist and led her into the next room. “Let's do our glamours!”

Winter nodded. “What shall we look like?”

“Like a family; like we all belong together!” Astronema smiled. “My hair color has got to go – maybe we should go with darker colors?”

“I can make my hair more straight but keep the color.” Winter reasoned. “Black is a common color.”

“Then I'll go dark brown, another common hair color.” Astronema added in. “And I'll make it shorter and straighter too.”

“What about our eyes?” Winter asked. “Shall we match?”

“I think brown is a common color – we'll just tone our eyes down a bit.”

“And we can keep our skin tones; we're almost the same anyway.” Winter added.

“Let's do it!” Astronema agreed.

In no time, they no longer looked like Astronema and Winter. They grinned at each other.

“You look good, Asti!”

“So do you, WinWin!” Astronema giggled. “Oh, but we need to have different names!”

Winter frowned. “Yes, we do. Neither mine nor yours is common.”

“Mother can stay mother or mom though.” Astronema told her. “But we both definitely need to change.”

“What about Vinea? That way if you slip up and call me WinWin, we can say you said VinVin since they sound so similar.” Winter finally said after a moment of thought.

“Vinea. That sounds nice. Hm...what about me? You call me Asti. Tina?” Astronema pondered.

“Tina and Vinea” Winter smiled. “They sound nice together.”

The girls both nodded. The door swung open and Astronema smiled as mother stepped in. She looked highly uncomfortable in the borrowed dress.

“Well this is something I never thought I would do...” Mother mused softly.

“You look fine, mom.” Winter told her.

“Yeah, it looks alright.” Astronema chimed in. “Looks better on you than on Sybil!”

Her mother scoffed.

“What do you think of our glamours?” Winter asked.

Astronema watched her mother look both of them over carefully.

“They look rather well done, I suppose.” Her mother eventually said. “Are we ready then?”

“No!” Astronema shouted.

Her mother blinked.

“You need a glamour too.” Winter reminded her.

“Oh.”

“Make yourself look like us, mother! Match our skin tone and eye color!” Astronema told her happily. “And then pick one hair color!”

Her mother frowned. Astronema watched her eyes go from her to Winter and then back. After a moment her mother's image shimmered and shifted. Dark skin, brown eyes, and black hair but it was still...too perfect.

“Mother, you can't look like a model. You're way too pretty to be a peasant!” Astronema frowned. “You have to look less perfect!”

“Less perfect?” Her mother's new face twisted into a deep frown.

“Loose the glamoured makeup: no eyeshadow, no lashes, no lipstick.” Winter said softly.

“Give yourself a bigger nose, like Jenni!” Astronema chimed in. “And less perfect hair like you just ran!”

Mother groaned but complied. The makeup vanished, the nose grew, and her hair became more wild. “Better?” she asked with a grimace.

“Much better!” Winter chirped.

“It's perfectly common!” Astronema grinned. “Let's go have fun!”

“Somehow I doubt this is going to be fun.” Her mother deadpanned as they grabbed her hands and dragged her towards the stairs.

~~~~~~

Despite what mother had said, going to the festival was definitely fun, Astronema decided. In the first row of stall they had gone down Winter had found a new purse with beaded snowflakes and a pair of white stockings with bows, she had found a bracelet of stars and a hairpin embellished in shiny jewels, and mother had snatched up a pair of marvelous white heels, a white peacock feather hairpin, a crystal embellished necklace, and an eyeshadow palette with more colors on it than Astronema could count. Shopping made her mother happy. Shopping without anyone recognizing her or bothering her while getting a great discount made her mother ecstatic, so ecstatic she forgot she was dressed like a peasant and bumping shoulders with commoners in a crowded marketplace.

By the end of the third row of stalls Astronema was super glad they had grabbed a bag on the way out the door because otherwise there wouldn't be any way to hold all the stuff they had bought, most of it being mother's. They took a rest at a food stall and had some kind of fried sweets that Astronema promised herself she would get the cook to learn how to make. Winter nearly stuck her teeth together with some kind of stick taffy-esque candy and mother had eaten a whole box of chocolates and then went back to buy a second for later. Then it was back to shopping.

The bag mother had to carry got so heavy after another two rows that they had had to stop at a shop and have a gravity charm attached to it so it would float. Her mother kept buying so much stuff that Astronema wondered why she had complained so much about having to come here; she certainly looked like she was having fun. They finished off their shopping just before lunch and managed to snag a table at a nearby restaurant before the crowd arrived. Winter had fish, Astronema ate chicken, and mother had picked at a salad while riffling though the bag to examine her 'great finds'. Dessert had been ice cream at a shop around the corner.

They had ventured into the plaza next and Astronema had joined in a dance number, having great fun twirling to the music. When mother had come to fetch her, she had pulled her in too and mother had smiled and laughed and gone along with it for one round before pulling them both out. Then mother had made them take a tour in the museum to make sure the staff was portraying her succession to Queen accurately and both Astronema and Winter had giggled watching mother's expression change from happy to mad and then back to happy in the span of a single sentence. They had left the museum and mother had insisted they start heading for home, seeing the long walk ahead of them. They had agreed and Astronema had sighed happily. Her fun day was over.

But then she saw them as they rounded the next corner and she couldn't help but laugh. She tugged her mother's sleeve and pointed. Her mother stopped to look and her mouth dropped open. Even Winter gasped. Sybil and Aimery were having a date! A romantic date with flowers! The two denied they liked each other every time Astronema brought it up but here they were, on a date! Sybil looked dreadfully stiff and very blushy while Aimery seemed to be in his element. Astronema grinned widely; she was so going to tease Sybil about this for a long time!

Eventually her mother came out of her stupor and pulled them onward back to the castle. They slipped back inside with no one the wiser and back upstairs to unpack their treasures. It began abundantly clear once the bag was emptied that her mother had bought more than Astronema and Winter had combined. Astronema had leveled a look at her mother and her mother had actually blushed.

“Can we do this again next year, mom?” Winter asked.

Astronema turned her head to look at her mother. Her mother smiled. “I think so, dear.”

Astronema smiled a huge smile. She glanced at Winter. They nodded.

And then they both hug-tackled mother to the ground.


	9. Chapter 8: Pictures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astronema finds out her mother's secret the hard way. Mentions of death, blood, and suicide.

It was just supposed to be one more picture. One more picture with her forbidden camera to finish her secret album. One more picture – a picture of mother to finish the album and she would have one of everyone important to her and all of her favorite places. It was just one more picture. What harm could one more picture do.

Astronema laid in her bed with wide eyes and trembling hands. She tried to fall asleep but she couldn't. She couldn't get the picture out of her head, couldn't forget what she had seen. Even staring at the ceiling did nothing at all – she could still see them as if the image had been burned into her mind.

Astronema started to cry. She buried her head into her pillow to muffle the sound and started crying. She was so stupid. Why had she done that? Why couldn't she have just listened to mother?! The tears kept coming out and she couldn't stop them. Eventually she cried herself to sleep. But even asleep she still wasn't safe from her own mind.

Astronema had a dream. She was eating breakfast in bed with mother, pancakes with berries and powdered sugar. Her mother ruffled her hair and she turned up to smile at her only to see mother's face was melting off. She screamed and jumped out of bed. The ghoul that had moments ago been her mother crawled after her with limbs that had sagging, burnt, and melting flesh hanging off of them. She ran into the hallway and smacked into Sybil. Sybil who turned around to reveal her face was burnt and melting too. Astronema ran and ran and ran but everywhere she looked everyone was the same: burning and melting.

She awoke with a start, covered in sweat. Her stomach bubbled and she dashed into the bathroom just in time to vomit into the toilet. Shaking, she touched her face and arms with her hands to make sure she wasn't melting too. Astronema dragged herself back to bed, the tears already starting again. Why? Why?

The next dream was worse. She was trapped in a glass box and couldn't get out. Suddenly the floor of the box set on fire and flames jumped towards her. She screamed and pressed herself into a corner, banging on the walls. But the walls stayed put and the flames consumed her, burning her from head to toe while she screamed and screamed, the smell of burning flesh surrounding her. Eventually the fire went out and a guard found her. The doctors tried to help her but they couldn't fix her burns. Even worse, she was bad at glamouring them away and it would sporadically give out and show her real face. Nobles gaped at her, children screamed at her, servants pointed and laughed. And mother....and mother wouldn't even look at her at all.

Astronema awoke again feeling ill. She staggered to the bathroom and once again filled the toilet with bile. Her nightclothes were drenched in sweat and she felt cold. Shaking and sniffling, she dragged herself back to bed again.

The nightmares continued. Astronema watching her mother burn alive and begin unable to save her.

Wake up, vomit, fall back asleep.

Her mother's glamour randomly failing during a huge ball and everyone seeing – her mother crying herself to sleep night after night. And then her mother jumping off the palace balcony to escape the laughter and painting the patio red.

Wake up, vomit, fall back asleep.

A servant found her hiding spot and the camera with the pictures. The pictures are printed out and passed around the palace. Her mother is mortified and enraged. She questions all the servants until finally the truth comes out that it was her, Astronema, who took them. Her mother slaps her, tells her she hates her, and banishes her to a dungeon cell. She sits alone in silence as her flesh rots away.

Wake up, vomit, fall back asleep.

She's forced to tell her biggest secret on stage in front of everyone. She has to talk about the pictures and describe them. She's crying but someone is controlling her body and her mouth and she can't stop. And she can't look away from the betrayed look on her mother's face.

Wake up, vomit, cry.

Astronema's whole body aches – her every limb fells sore and stiff. She is both too hot and too cold: she shivers on top of her covers and sweats uncontrollably beneath them. Her stomach aches from emptiness but every time she tries to drink water it just comes back up. She feels weak and awful and wonders if this is what her punishment is.

Her maid Achetta arrives to wake her up for breakfast and practically shrieks upon seeing her. Astronema wondered if she really looked that bad. She watches through blurry vision as Achetta runs to the wall netscreen and calls for the doctor in a frantic tone. She hears the maid's footsteps head further away and knows Achetta is going to see her mother. The hallway door swings open first and not one but two doctors arrive panting heavily. She guesses they ran the whole way as to not anger her mother. A bag is placed on the floor by her bedside as both men pull on gloves and masks. A thermometer is stuck into her mouth under her tongue and then she hears the other door slam open.

There is a rush of footsteps and suddenly mother is there by her side looking panicked. Her mother grabs Astronema's hand and grasps it between her own two. The thermometer is taken out and replaced by a tongue board as one man looks into her mouth with a little light. They listen to her heart with the stethoscope and then her lungs. The movement of sitting up makes her stomach churn and Astronema only just avoids puking on one doctor's back. She barely feels the pick as the doctor inserts a needle and takes a blood sample.

Achetta brings a glass of water. The doctors encourage her to drink but the moment the liquid hits her stomach she's vomiting again. She whimpers and feels mother's hands rub her back softly as she hangs her head over a plastic bin. When it stops at last, her mother settles her back onto her pillow and smooths her hair down.

There's a conversation that occurs between the doctors and her mother but she cannot make out any of the words they are saying at all. The doctor closer to her takes out a syringe and jabs her once in the arm to inject something green. A second syringe follows with some yellow fluid. The other doctor is holding out a small pill. He speaks loudly and slowly and Astronema can understand him. The pill is placed under her tongue where it quickly starts to dissolve, filling her mouth with the taste of cherries. It strangely doesn't make her stomach churn. The doctors leave a bunch of different things that she can't quite see on the nearby table before they bow and leave.

Her mother picks her out of the bed and carries her in her arms. Astronema shivers from contact with the air but her mother's arms are warm and they help slightly. She is carried into the bathroom where Achetta has already drawn a bath. Her mother undresses her and then lays her into the water: it's just warm enough to not be too cold or too hot. She lays there in a daze as mother washes her off and scrubs her hair. Then all too soon she's lifted out of the warm water and wrapped in a big towel. Her mother dries her hair with the blow dryer and changes her into clean undergarments and clean pajamas. She's carried back into her bedroom.

Achetta has changed the sheets in her absence and mother slips her into her clean bed. The covers are pulled up and tucked around her and a damp cloth is placed on her forehead. Achetta moves a chair over and her mother sits down on it beside her bed, her hands on Astronema's shoulders and her focus on her face. Astronema feel weak and so very tired. It is easy to fall asleep with mother there besides her.

But even mother's presence cannot stop her dreams.

She dreams some of her nightmares over again and they seem even worse the second time around. She wakes up screaming and scares mother who grabs her shoulders and tells her that 'everything is alright'. But it's a lie: everything is not alright. Everything is far from right at all. She drifts back to sleep and has a new nightmare inspired by an old memory: she's lost in the city but this time its because mother kicked her out. She wanders the streets alone and scared and cold and wet. No one helps her, no one listens to her. And then a man comes up to her and she recognizes his face: the face of the man who stabbed her father. He takes out the knife and starts to stab her, to hack her flesh away. She looks down and can see her organs covered in blood. The man reaches in and pulls her heart out of her chest.

She awakens screaming yet again, sitting upright in bed. Her mother's arm wrap around her and try to comfort her but they feel odd to her. She feels a slight tingle in her mind and knows that mother is looking in at the surface, trying to find what has scared her so much. A snippet of the dream replays: the man with the knife, her bloody organs, him pulling out her heart. She screams again.

Her mother's grip tightens and she is pulled over to her mother's chest and held close. One hand begins smoothing her hair and her mother keeps whispering how everything is alright. Astronema tries to relax but cannot. She looks around blearily and is surprised to see Winter is here too. Her sister is staring at her with big, wide eyes and an open mouth. Their gazes meet and Winter moves over to sit on the bed and hold her from the back. Astronema shudders and the tears start again. One of the doctors from earlier arrives and her mother begins to yell at him, talking about nightmares. The doctor digs out a syringe from his bag and sticks it into her arm. The blue liquid enters slowly and she hears him saying that this will help her sleep without dreaming.

It happens so quickly she doesn't even remember falling asleep.

She wakes up feeling groggy. Astronema looks to the side and isn't surprised to see her mother is still there, sitting on the chair beside her. Papers litter the floor around her and her mother's portscreen is on her lap but one hand is still clutching onto her own. Winter is still here too although she is asleep upon the couch across the room. Astronema flexes her fingers slightly and that's all it takes to draw her mother's attention to her. What looks like relief crosses her mother's face and there's questions about how she's feeling that Astronema either nods or shakes her head to. There's another little cherry pill that she lets melt under her tongue and another syringe given to her by mother. She's hesitant to drink the water that's then pushed towards her but finally she accepts the cup and takes a small sip. She waits but her stomach doesn't revolt so Astronema drinks the whole cup.

Her mother helps her up and to the bathroom. It's not until she's sitting on the toilet that she realizes how badly she had to pee. Hands are washed and then she's led back into bed. Her mother props the pillows up and lets her sit up. A few moments later Achetta enters with a bowl of soup. It's tomato, her favorite. Astronema carefully sips it down. The warm soup fills her stomach and soothes the cramps. Winter wakes up and comes to sit on the bed by her. She shows Astronema her picture that she drew. A coloring book is placed in front of her and she colors a picture together with Winter. It's a scene of some birds in an area like the menagerie. Astronema colors the walls gray and makes each strand of grass a different green. Winter colors the birds in a rainbow of colors. They finish the floor and ceiling together.

She hears a BONG in the distance and realizes it's dinner time already. Winter hugs her before packing up her books and crayons. Her mother stands and walks off for a moment only to come back with a box tied with silver ribbon. Astronema stares in confusion: it is not her birthday nor a holiday.

“It's a get well soon present.” Her mother explains.

Astronema opens the box carefully. A brand new portscreen sits inside. It's the exact model she had wanted. The exact model she had wondered if she could install a camera in. Astronema's heart drops but she puts on a huge smile and hugs her mother around the waist, telling her thank you. Her mother leaves with Winter for dinner and Astronema is left alone in her bed with only the walls for company and her new portscreen. Guilt welled up in her stomach.

She didn't deserve a present at all.

~~~~~~

Astronema felt much better when Achetta came to wake her the next morning. She had somehow slept through the night, even with her nightmares. She had another cherry pill followed by bowl of oatmeal with blueberries. There was no stomach cramps or vomiting; she felt relieved. It wasn't until her mother came in fully dressed with heels and crown on that Astronema remembered that today was Thursday. Mother had court today and Winter had lessons. She would alone.

There were a lot of kisses from mother and mother making her promise to keep the portscreen on her at all times so she could call if she felt sick. Astronema smiled, nodded, and wished her good luck with the 'idiots'. Her mother pressed a final kiss to her forehead and headed off.

For a little while Astronema just laid in bed, lost in thought. She was well aware she had to face her problem or the nightmares would continue on forever. The issue was how. No one knew she had taken those pictures – it was just her in the know. How did she go about making things better without making them worse?

The answer came to her with a smile. While taking the pictures she had overheard those people talking, mostly complaining about things. So it seemed right to her that her job was to **fix** those things. She opened up the writing ap on her portscreen and made a list of the people she taken pictures of: herself, Winter, Jenni, Achetta, Sybil, Aimery, Kron, Pyrtz, Mother.

She'd start with Jenni. Normally Jenni worked in the kitchens but everyday she came up to make breakfast for them on mother's orders. Jenni would cook and then have to return to the kitchens to work on breakfast there. Achetta would serve the food to them and then, later in the day, Jenni would have to come back up to do the dishes. So what could she do for Jenni?

First she did all the dishes from breakfast: the pots, pans, knives, forks, and bowls Jenni had used to make breakfast for her, mother, and Winter. Astronema washed them all carefully making sure they were totally clean. She dried them with the towel and then put all the dishes away. Now Jenni wouldn't have to do it. Jenni also had a job in the kitchens labeling the new food arrivals. Astronema added it to her portscreen list to do when she headed downstairs. Right now she had something she could do for Achetta.

Achetta had been mumbling about how her back had hurt that other day. Astronema couldn't take away that pain but she could do a bunch of Achetta's work so her back wouldn't hurt so badly. With a plan and a grin, she set to work. She started with unloading and folding the laundry from the night before knowing bending hurt. Her own clothes went away with ease. Winter's were also easy to put away as her sister had things arranged in a similar fashion. Putting mother's clothes away proved to be more of a challenge as she had to hunt for the proper drawers. Next, she cleaned off the table with a rag and polished it until there were no more streaks. The counter was next followed by the bathroom sink. With determination she moved onto doing the floor with the mop - that took the longest by far. By the end of her mopping, the floor was shining and Astronema was grinning widely. Achetta would have an easy day today. She marked off her name and headed out.

Winter would be next. She knew her sister well and she also knew that Winter was a terrible organizer. Her crayons and colored pencils were always in disarray and it often took her minutes to find the right color. Luckily organization was something Astronema was good at. She dumped out her sister's art bin on the floor and got to work. The crayons went into one pile, the markers in a second, the colored pencils in a third, and the normal pencils by themselves. Then she organized the crayons by color and put them all back into their proper box. She did the same with the markers and then the colored pencils, which she also sharpened for Winter too. The normal pencils went into their little case. Astronema stacked them all back into the bin carefully. Then she separated all of Winter's art paper by color and put that away too. She checked off her sister's name – another job done!

Sybil.

Sybil was a hard one to help. Sybil was very close-lipped and self sufficient. It would difficult to find something to do for her. Astronema made her way towards Sybil's rooms a floor below. As her mother's head thaumaturge, Sybil would be court all day with her, so her rooms would be empty. It was easy to pick the lock and get inside. The interior was clean and orderly: just like Sybil. There were no clothes in the hamper, no dishes in the sink, and no mess really anywhere. Astronema frowned as she moved into the back room. Sybil's netscreen was still on and something was running. She climbed onto the seat and took a look – a scan program. There was a notepad nearby and she recognized Sybil's handwriting easily. It looked as if she was having netscreen issues. That was something Astronema could try and fix.

It took some tinkering and some backwards working but eventually she found the root of Sybil's problem: a simple data mismanagement error that was causing the netscreen to run slow. With a few clicks she easily fixed the problem and watched as the once puttering scan finished almost immediately. Satisfied, she crossed off Sybil's name.

It was a short walk to Aimery's rooms next door. The problem here was apparent immediately: Aimery was a slob! Shaking her head in distaste, Astronema set about getting to work. She gathered all the trash in a big bag. She put all the dishes in the dishwasher and set it off. She threw all the dirty clothes in the washer and set that to run. And then she vacuumed the carpet and made his bed. Now at least it looked liveable in here. She crossed off Aimery and headed off.

Down three floors and over to the right towards the staff wing. It was time for Kron, the librarian. Once again, Astronema found her task readily apparent when she entered: two full carts of books that needed to be re-shelved. The carts were too heavy for her to move at first so she started by carrying a stack of books and putting those away and then going back for more. Eventually the cart became light enough for her to push and from there the task got easier still. The second cart followed the same way and within an hour, Astronema was wiping the sweat from her brow and crossing off another name.

It was almost lunchtime so she headed down to the kitchen. Time to do work on herself. Today she would eat vegetables for lunch. That was something good to do for herself. The head chef looked at her oddly when she requested a plate filled with only vegetables but a quick story about her stomach dismissed his doubts. She choked down her plate of chard, kale, carrots, peas, lettuce, broccoli, and brussle sprouts with a grimace. She hated vegetables – they were so yucky! She put a small check next to her own name before heading back into the kitchen. She still had to finish helping Jenni.

Printing out dated labels and affixing them to jars, boxes, and cans of food was a relaxing job and gave Astronema time to think about what she was going to do for Pyrtz. She didn't know the guard that well at all and thus finding a good thing to do for him was proving to be difficult. As she put the last can away, she decided it would be best to find him and watch him for a bit – perhaps something would come up.

~~~~~~

Astronema dashed away from the corridor giggling softly. Well that was Pyrtz done! Turns out he had a huge crush on one of the young maids, a maid who was oblivious to how much Pyrtz likes her and how he would get all stuttery whenever he tried to talk to her. She had seen Pyrtz write her a note and slip in under her door. Astronema had fished it out once he had left and immediately decided it was awful. She had written a much better one and slipped that under the door instead. Then Astronema had watched as the maid found the note, blushed brightly, and want straight to find Pyrtz. She hadn't heard what had been said but she had seen the kiss the girl had laid on his cheek. Mission accomplished!

Crossing Pyrtz off the list, she saw there were only two left: her own partially checked name and mother. Well, she would finish hers by eating vegetables again at dinner but for mother... She sighed heavily. She knew what the right thing to do was. Even though she loved this new portscreen and it was exactly what she wanted she didn't deserve it. She'd have to return it to mother that evening. Return it and apologize for getting herself sick and making mother worry. Yeah, that's what she needed to do.

On her way back upstairs, she passed some of the people she'd done things for. Sybil and Aimery were playfully arguing the corridor, each accusing the other of fixing their problems. She giggled: they made such a good couple. She saw Pyrtz walk by on his rounds, the lipstick mark still on his cheek, and Jenni waved to her as she crossed the threshold and headed home early for once. She could see Kron in the library looking at the empty carts in confusion and Achetta didn't seem to be hurting as much when she passed her by a floor later. She stopped in by Winter to see her sister drawing away with her organized colors and spent some time talking with her until the clock rang for dinner.

They walked together down to the dining room. Her mother was already waiting for them. Winter got a light hug while Astronema got a hug and a question about whether she was feeling better or not. She smiled and answered yes. They sat down to eat dinner. Astronema loaded her plate with all those yucky vegetables again and a piece of chicken. Her mother looked at her oddly as she ate vegetables she normally avoided without complaint. She even skipped dessert using not want to upset her stomach as an excuse. Dinner ended without issue and the three headed back upstairs, each headed for their own room. Normally at night, her mother did paperwork while she and Winter stayed in their rooms and used their portscreens or played with their toys until bedtime. Then mother would come and tuck them into their beds with a kiss. Tonight Astronema was going to break that routine.

She went to her own room and deleted the list from the portscreen then shut the device down and put it back in the fancy box. She walked over to the drawer and pulled it out, then reached in to grab her notebook – she left the camera inside. She took a moment to calm her frayed nerves and take several long breaths. Then she walked over to the door that led to mother's rooms and knocked twice. She peaked her head in: as she suspected mother was at her desk. Her mother quickly noticed her standing there and smiled.

“Come in, Astronema.”

She stepped inside and shut the door behind her carefully. With measured steps she walked over towards her mother's desk and carefully slid the box on it. She kept the notebook in her hands as she turned her gaze to the floor.

“I...don't deserve a present. I...I made myself sick. I did something...something wrong and I drove myself sick worrying about it and worry about what could happen because of what I did. I'm a bad girl, I don't deserve a present...”

She was starting to sniffle. Admitting this to mother, to the person she cared for and respected the most was hard. She didn't want mother to hate her. She **couldn't** have mother hate her.

A sigh. Then her mother's soft voice. “Astronema, you didn't make yourself sick. The test came back positive for the stomach flu – you can't give yourself that. Besides-”

“Then I made it worse!” she cut her mother off, something she had never done before. “The flu didn't make those nightmares – I did. I gave myself those nightmares! I was unconsciously punishing myself for what I had done! I made myself see those horrible things! I did that.”

She was slightly trembling now. All the sadness and guilt that was just welling up inside her wanted to come out. She needed it to come out.

“I broke the rules. The flu didn't do that, I did. I defied your rules.”

There it was: the admission she didn't want to have to make but the admission she knew she had to make. She couldn't keep it quiet anymore. Heck, she hadn't been able to keep it quiet for more than full day. The guilt was eating away at her and it was the most horrible feeling ever. It didn't matter anymore if mother punished her. She needed to do this. She needed to tell the truth.

Another sigh. “What did you do, Astronema?”

Her mother's tone was sharper now, Astronema flinched under it.

“I...I was mad about the whole 'no camera' thing. I didn't understand why I couldn't have one. 'Because I said no' wasn't a good enough answer for me. So...I sort of...ordered one in secret.”

She could feel her mother's gaze piercing into her.

_“Astronema!”_

There it was: the rising tone to her mother's inflection that made it clear she was in trouble. She gulped and continued on, her words becoming more frantic and quick paced.

“I didn't think it was that big of a deal, it's just a camera. I found a cheap one and had it shipped to where the fruit gets sent to knowing they'd think it was an important package and they'd send it up with fruit and vegetables without checking. And then I made sure I was there in the kitchens when the fruit came in yesterday to grab it before anyone noticed.” She started to ramble. “That's kind of a security flaw now that I think about it. That no one checks what's in the packages? Or scans them? I mean what if someone sends a bomb?!”

“Astronema.” Her mother's voice cut in. “Stick to the story. You can worry about things like that another time.”

“Yes mother.” She sighed. “I hid the package until Winter went to her lessons and you had gone downstairs. Then I started playing around with it. It took me a while to figure out how it worked and even longer to turn off the flashing light that came on when I clicked a picture. I started with a picture of me and then my room and then my stuff. And then I printed them out using the netscreen downstairs.

“They looked so good so I got the idea to make a little scrapbook. To take pictures of important things, places, and people and glue them into the book with captions and glitter. A memory book. It didn't sound like a horrible idea to me to be able to see things anytime I wanted, to be able to remember things I didn't want to forget. So I found a notebook I wasn't using and started off by adding in those three pictures. I got out my glitter pens and I added stickers and glitter and captions. And I really liked how it looked a lot. So I thought I could do more.”

She pried open the notebook to the first spread with the three pictures and held it up. She peeked upwards through her bangs and watched as mother took in the page with a frown.

“I didn't think it was a bad thing...So I went to go take more pictures. I did a lot of scenery pictures of my favorite places: the library, the observation tower, the lookout over the pool, the view of the city from the balcony, the entrance hall with the arches. I did things that I thought were pretty or places where I had good memories occur.”

She flipped to the next page filled with scenery pictures.

“And...then I thought that a book with just scenery pictures in it is...kinda sad. Because places are just places. You don't make memories with places: you make memories with people. So I knew I needed pictures of people in here. But...then how do I take pictures of people without revealing that I went behind your back to get myself a camera? No one would believe me if I had lied so...I decided to take the pictures in secret...like a ninja.”

“Like a _ninja?_ ” She didn't need to look up to feel the distaste in her mother's words.

“Or a spy. But I liked ninja better...” She mumbled. “I snuck around and took some pictures. I did Winter and Aimery and Sybil and Achetta and Jenni and Kron and even Pyrtz. I really tried to take normal pictures. To not take any of them doing anything embarrassing or private. I thought that it would be okay that way...but I realized that I invaded into all of their private lives to do such...and that was wrong. Even if these photos were just for me, it was wrong to do it without asking them first.”

“Well at least you realized that on your own. Really, Astronema. Why did this ever seem like a good idea?” Her mother's voice was sour and dripping with displeasure. “You owe all of them an apology.”

“I kind of already did something like that. I spent today doing little favors for them all since I didn't know how to apologize without making things worse.” Astronema told her.

“Favors? Explain yourself, Astronema.”

She nodded. “It seemed like the right thing to do after spying on people in secret was to fix their problems in secret. I organized Winter's art supplies and sharpened her pencils she she's bad at keeping them all together. I did the breakfast dishes for Jenni so she didn't have to run upstairs and then I did her job of labeling the food for her. I cleaned the floor, table, and counters for Achetta so she didn't have to hurt her back bending. Oh and I put the laundry away too.

“I fixed Sybil's netscreen problem so it runs normally now. I cleaned Aimery's room up: I put the dishes in the dishwasher, the clothes in the washer, and threw out the garbage. I put away the carts of books for Kron so he didn't have to walk on his bad leg and I changed Pyrtz's rubbish love letter into a better one so he got a date. And I ate vegetables too.”

There was silence. Curiosity got the better of her and she raised her head up to chance a look at mother. She didn't look too angry anymore.

“Well you certainly made yourself busy.” Her mother told her. “I guess you did repay them in your own way. Still what you did was wrong. There will be a consequence for this, Astronema”

“I'm not done. There's more.” She was speaking before she knew it. The last bit, the last piece was still desperate to escape.

“There's **more**?” Her mother sounded exasperated. “What else can there be?”

“Well...after I took all those pictures, I printed them too and added them into the notebook. I put Sybil and Aimery and Pyrtz on this page cause they're all guards in a sense.” She flipped to the next page. “Then I put in Jenni, Kron, and Aschetta together since they're all servants.

“That left me with Winter's picture. I didn't have anything else to go on that page with her...then I figured out I could put something there. So I went into the gardens to see dad.” Her voice grew soft. “I figured he would have liked to have a picture next to hers.”

“Astronema...” her mother's voice sounded soft now too. She felt fingers rub against the top of her head.

“I printed out that picture and put it with Winter's.” She flipped the book another page forward to the page with the pictures of Winter and Evret's grave. “I thought I was done. The pictures were all in, the pages were all decorated, and the writing was all done. I thought I had done everything and everyone that was important. But as I flipped though it, I realized I had forgotten something very important. Or rather _someone_ very important.”

The hand on her head stilled suddenly. “Astronema...”

“I argued with myself for a long time about it. I knew if there was anyone who was going to catch me, it was going to be you...” She sighed. “I argued with myself about the pros and cons of even trying. You weren't going to be fooled or distracted by any of the things I had done to the others. And I'm terrible at sneaking around you, you always catch me. But...but even though I knew all that, even though I knew I was probably going to get caught and you were going to be mad at me it...it felt _wrong_. It felt wrong to have this secret little notebook filled with all the important places and people to me and to not include the most important person of all...

“So I did...”

“ASTRONEMA!”

She couldn't stop now. She was going to finish this story. She was going to be honest. She was going to be brave.

“I waited until you went into the bathroom to turn on the water and I snuck under the bed. I'm actually surprised you didn't hear me since I kinda knocked the door into the wall pretty loudly. I hid under there for a few minutes until you walked back out to grab something. I knew you'd see me if I stuck my head out, so I just stuck the camera out and inch and held down the shutter button to take a few. Then I waited until you want back into the bathroom before I snuck back out.” Her voice was very small now. “I was so happy as I dashed off. I was sure at least one of them would be okay. That I would have a complete album. That it would be perfect...That's all I wanted.

“I didn't know.

“I know you never take it off, not even when you sleep. It didn't even come off that one time you fainted. I knew that. I didn't know why. I never asked. I wondered but I never asked. I thought it would be horribly rude to ask. I had always figured that you'd tell me if you wanted to and you wouldn't if you didn't. I never would have pushed, I never would have insisted. It was your secret, not mine. I guess I'm used to this you. So much so that for that moment I forgot.

“I forgot it was a glamour. I forgot the photo wouldn't show it. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. I just wanted...I just wanted a finished album. I didn't mean to.” The tears she had been struggling to hold back let loose like a dam bursting. “The second I looked I realized what I had done. But I can't take it back, I can't undo what I've already done! I understand now why you said no, I understand why you didn't want me to have that camera. If I had know I would never had...but! I can't. I can't undo it. I can't fix my mistake. I can't change the past. I made myself sick by trying to ignore the fact that I had done something wrong. I gave myself nightmares trying to pretend I wasn't guilty!

“The only thing I can do is move forward. Admit my mistakes, own up to what I've done. Admit I'm guilty of doing something horrible even if it was unintentionally. I'm sorry. I know that words probably aren't enough here but I'm sorry. I'll take whatever punishment you decided to give me, I deserve it. I'm sorry, mother. I didn't mean to. Mother, I'm so sorry.”

There was silence save for the sound of her own tears. The rolled off her cheeks in rivers and created tracks where the landed on her dress. They felt hot almost as if they were about to scorch her skin and there was no end to them in sight. Her tears just kept coming like a never ending stream of sorrow. And then, at last, hands touched her shoulders. She blinked – her mother was kneeling before her with an expression not of anger but of matching sorrow. The hands pushed her forward and Astronema gladly collapsed into her mother's arms. The warmth was welcoming and Astronema felt a small smile begin to tug on her lips.

“I'm sorry mother. I love you.”

“I love you too, my little star.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a long time to try and figure out HOW Astronema would learn about Levana's “secret”. I knew it had to happen in some way but I couldn't figure out how. I couldn't leave it unresolved.   
> I couldn't find some way to write it in which Levana actually admits to it because I didn't think she would ever do it unless it was the only option. Which would have meant having to do something awful to Astronema...which I couldn't do...yet. Make no mistake that Astronema truly loves her mother but she IS her mother's daughter. She has the sort of nature that if she wants something she'll try and get it if she doesn't think there's a good reason why she can't have it.


	10. Chapter 9: Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levana finds an interesting way to resolve an argument between Astronema & Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place about 2 years after the previous. So Astronema is 10 here and Winter is 11.

Why was it always Thursdays that turned into such messes? It had been on a Thursday that she had lost Evret. Her first fight with Astronema over her schedule which had turned into her running around the city looking for her had been on a Thursday. The day Astronema had admitted her use of a camera had also been a Thursday. Why was it always Thursdays that turned into disasters – she couldn't list any other days that had such a laundry list of incidents. Now she could add this Thursday to the list too with this bomb scare.

It was bad enough being trapped in this room for her own safety while her thaumaturges made sure everything was fine but what was making it worse was the fact that Astronema and Winter weren't talking to each other over something absurd. It was something about Winter's paints that she left out and that Astronema walked on by accident. They were fighting over paints! There was possibly a **bomb** in the palace and they were arguing over paint!

“I think you are both overreacting to this little squabble you had.” She intoned sternly. “This is far from the first argument you have had and it will likely not be the last. I do not understand why something so minor has caused such a commotion.”

“Minor?” Winter whispered. “It's not minor at all. Minor is a bad word or an accidental shove. Recklessly destroying multiple pieces of property is not minor.” Her words became more stern at the last sentence.

Astronema just growled under her breath and huffed. She mumbled something Levana didn't quite hear.

“You two are far too spoiled.” She sighed. “You would have never lasted if you had **her** for a sister.”

“Do you mean your sister, mother? The one that died?” Astronema spoke at last. “You never talk about her at all.”

“With good reason. She was a never-ending source of misery for me.” Levana sighed. “It was almost as if she tried her hardest to make me miserable, but that would have required effort and effort was something she lacked.”

Winter looked up at her. “You make her sound like a demon, mom.”

She laughed. “She would have made any demons look good.”

“Was she really that awful?” Winter asked.

“She was never a proper sister who cared for me at all.” Levana said softly. “We were more like enemies than family. Any good moments were few and far between.”

She glanced at her two girls who were both looking up at her from either side, their arguments seemingly forgotten for now. “Do you want to hear about some of the things she did?”

“Only if you want to share them.” Astronema said softly.

She sighed. She really didn't want to...but then again if doing so stopped them from having these petty little arguments, then it would be worth it.

“Well, let's see...The earliest thing I can remember is when I was about 3 and Channary was 9. That's when she started making fun of my hair...” Levana mused. “It was the color of it – I'm not sure if she hated the color or if she was jealous that she didn't have it. Whatever the reason, she took to comparing it to...unpleasant things. She got all the servant girls whispering about it and everywhere I went I would hear them talking about my hair.”

“What color was it, mom?” Winter asked. “What color did she hate?”

“It was red, Winter. Blood red.” She sighed. “I had always liked the color but I had to learn to hide it to stop her from bothering me. Even all these years later, I still do not use the color – I can still hear her taunts and laughs in the back of my mind.”

“But is sounds so pretty!” Astronema chimed in. “You would look good with that color!”

“Maybe that's why she hated it – because it made me look good.”

“That's so mean. Why didn't anyone do anything? You always yelled at anyone who didn't like my hair?” Astronema asked.

“Our parents were...well...not good parents to say the least.” Levana said gently. “A lot of the things that Channary got away with were because of their non-involvence in our lives.”

“It sounds lonely.” Winter whispered.

“It was, dear. It was.” Levana mused. “But it got no better when they died. If anything, the power of being Queen made Channary worse.”

“I remember from lessons that she didn't really do much as Queen.” Astronema added. “The tutor was hard pressed to list a good thing that came out of her reign.”

“It was her style to let everything be done by someone else. She even ditched her duty of speaking at the funeral and made me do it.” She sighed. “She was far more concerned with dresses and jewelery and men than running our home.

“She held court but it was joke. Her thaumaturge did all of the work for her while she sat there and ate her way through piles of sweets. Other days she left early and stuck the job on me.” Levana recalled. “The only thing she liked doing was having parties and flirting with every man she could. And, of course, she loved the act of being with those men.”

“Eww...mom! I'm only 11 – I don't wanna hear about THAT.” Winter scrunched her nose up.

Levana laughed. “It was, undoubtedly, the thing she was best at. And she became known far and wide for doing such.”

“Seems weird that she didn't have a whole bunch of kids then.” Astronema sighed. “With all that...doing...”

“She had...problems in that area. And I do believe she hated children.” Levana mused. “She didn't care for either of you two nor your father.”

“She didn't like dad?” Winter asked, eyes wide. “Why?”

“She was mostly angry at me for marrying a 'commoner' as she put it. She never saw in Evret what I did.” She told them softly. “She hated you, Winter, on principle – a commoner's daughter being a princess was laughable to her. And she went on to hate you when you were born Astronema although I believe in your case it was more about jealousy than hatred.”

“Because she didn't have her own?” Astronema asked.

“I do believe that came to be the case.” She sighed. “I noticed when you were still a baby how she would look over at you out of the corner of her eyes when she thought no one was watching with this look. More than once I passed by Channary's room to see her standing in front of her mirror with her hand by her middle. You became what she wanted and was unable to have. So she hated you.”

“It sounds a little sad.” Astronema mumbled.

“You should not feel sorry for her at all – she was horribly cruel to all those around her. She made promises she had no intentions of keeping, handed out threats like an everyday occurrence, and punished anyone she wanted to for absurd reasons.” Levana ranted. “She had her favorite seamstress's feet surgically removed to make her do nothing but sew her new dresses all day. She had a noble pushed off of the balcony into the lake below after he refused to kiss her and the man couldn't swim. She made a noble lady divorce her husband under threat of taking her children away so she could have him, dated him for two days, and then dumped him. She turned every holiday and celebration into a party around her – I spent my birthdays being ignored while she strutted around like a proud peacock. And we have not even got into the whole 'accident' either!”

She groaned and panted slightly, a little out of breath. It had been a long time since Channary had died but she was still mad at her. She still hadn't gotten over it.

“Accident? What accident, mother?” Astronema asked her gently.

She paled. She hadn't meant to mention that. It had just kind of slipped out. She turned to Astronema with a frown. How did she get out of this one? How would she make them understand she did not want to discuss **this**.

Somehow Astronema understood by the look on her face. She gasped and covered her mouth with a hand. “You mean **those** , don't you?”

She didn't answer.

“Oh, mother....” Astronema whispered. “She...she did that to you?”

She said nothing.

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Winter cut in. “What do you mean by those? Why have I been left out of this?”

Astronema blinked. “Ah well...it's kinda. I mean that.... I wasn't really supposed to know about it.”

“But you do!” Winter whined. “You're keeping secrets!”

“It's not a good kind of secret.” Astronema mumbled. “Ah, how do I say this? Mother...well Mother has..”

Astronema struggled to try and figure out the right words to say. She looked at her daughter fumbling over her words and sighed. It shouldn't be Astronema's job to say this.

“Scars, Winter.” She said finally, effectively silencing both girls. “I have burn scars.”

Winter's mouth dropped open. Astronema looked down at her knees.

“It's why I never take my glamour off. It's why I never let anyone see.” Levana mumbled.

“It's why mother hates cameras.” Astronema added in gently.

“And mirrors...” Winter whispered. “Oh, mom. I didn't mean to...”

Levana managed a small smile. “It's alright, dear. It was bound to come our sooner or later, just like all secrets eventually do.”

There was silence for a long time. No one spoke or moved. Then.

“You said accident...but it wasn't one, was it?” Astronema asked gently, breaking the silence. “She did it to you, didn't she?”

“Yes, my star. She did. She used her gift and made me. I was only six; I couldn't stop her. I didn't have the practice or the power to resist her.” Levana sighed. “She took control of my body and forced me into the flames and then held me there. My screams meant nothing to her; she didn't react at all. And then, when it was all done she went off and lied about it. And everyone believed her.

“She started the rumors that followed. And I became known as the Ugly Little Princess from then on.”

She blinked; hot tears were formed in the corners of her eyes. There was a soft rustle and Astronema moved over to her side and hugged her middle. And then more movement as Winter slid over to her other side and wrapped her arms around her too. The tears fell as she wrapped one arm around each girl and pulled them in tighter.

“Promise me you'll be good sisters. Sisters who care about each other and love each other.”

Astronema and Winter both nodded.

“Sorry, Win.” Astronema whispered “I didn't mean to ruin your paints and painting.”

“I'm sorry, mom.” Winter mumbled. She turned to look at Astronema. “I'm sorry too, Asti. I shouldn't have left them out and in the way. And I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for an accident; I should have been more concerned about whether or not you were okay.”

Astronema smiled back at her. “It's okay.”

“Yeah, it's okay.” Winter smiled too. “Everything is okay now.”

“We'll try not to fight anyone, mother. We'll be good girls for you.” Astronema whispered.

Winter nodded. “We'll be the best girls ever.”

Levana just smiled. “You already are.”

~~~~~~

The girls were much more pleasant to be around after that although they didn't have to wait too long before Sybil came for them. Levana sent her girls off upstairs to play and followed Sybil, listening to her head thaumaturge report. The small bomb had been found, disposed of, and the man responsible had been caught. Wonderful! She smiled; Sybil was such a hard worker and a good choice for a head thaumaturge. She had proved her loyalty and her value again and again over the years since Levana had promoted her. Sybil was truly a rare find nowadays. The reached the bottom of the grand staircase just as Sybil finished.

“Wonderful work as always, Sybil.” She allowed herself to smile. “If there's nothing else...”

Sybil blinked at her then looked down at her hands. “Actually...”

“Was there more to the report?” She blinked.

“No, my queen.”

“Then what, pray tell, is the matter, Sybil?”

“There is nothing the matter, my queen.” Sybil mumbled. “It is just...”

Sybil trailed off into silence. She frowned; well this was unlike Sybil. Sybil was normally very forward and good with her words. To have her fumbling and mumbling was unheard of. She glanced downward towards the floor to see what was so interesting that Sybil kept looking at. A sparkle of something by Sybil's hand caught her eye and she leaned in slightly. Was that a...a...?! She gasped.

“Sybil!” Levana reached forward and grasped Sybil's right hand, bringing it up and into the light. Sure enough, it was.

A diamond ring.

She turned her focus back to her thaumaturge only to see she was now blushing rather brightly. “Aimery...ah...well...”

Levana shook her head softly and smiled. “Well, it's about time. You two have only been dancing around this for over four years now.”

Sybil's blush darkened.

“Well, good for you, Sybil! You two do make a lovely match.” She gave her thaumaturge a light squeeze. “So, when's the ceremony?”

Sybil looked up at last, her face still red. “Actually...we were hoping maybe that you would...”

“You want me to do it?” Levana smiled. She had never done one before herself but as Queen it was well within her capabilities. “Of course, Sybil. I would be happy to.”

Sybil smiled. “Thank you, my queen! It will be an honor to have you perform the bonding ceremony.”

“Bonding ceremony?!”

They both looked up; Astronema was looking over the railing from five floors up. Her eyes were wide and her smiled just as huge.

“What bonding ceremony?” Astronema asked loudly. Her eyes swept back and forth between them. Then she gasped. “Oh STARS! Really?!”

She squealed loudly and vanished from view only to reappear on the stairs within moments and charge right up to them.

“Sybil's getting married?!” Astronema asked loudly, the huge grin still on her face.

Sybil ducked her head and blushed; Levana just laughed. Ah the enthusiasm of youth!

“Yes, my star. Sybil is getting married.”

“Well it's about time!” Astronema smiled. “You like that ring, right?”

Sybil nodded softly. “It's my taste. And it's not too big either.”

“You're welcome for that!” Astronema grinned. When Sybil looked at her in confusion, she sighed. “Well, who did you think Aimery had helping him pick that out? I had to talk him out of this one with a marble sized diamond on it – told him that for sure you'd get angry if he spent so much on that! There was no way you were going to like a four pound marble on your hand!

“And then he just sat around with it in his pocket for months! I've been constantly bothering Aimery to finally man up and propose before you both turned into old people! He kept giving excuse after excuse.” Astronema muttered. “I finally yelled at him – 'Just what are you waiting for? You've already kept her waiting this long; if you love her, ask her!' And I guess he finally did.”

Astronema grinned widely. Sybil just stared at her and Levana found herself laughing.

“So...does this mean I can be the flower girl?”

~~~~~~

She proceeded over Sybil and Aimery's bonding ceremony two days later in front of a small crowd made up of mostly thaumaturges and some guards. It was the first time she ever saw Sybil in a formal dress with makeup on and, judging by the starry-eyed look Aimery gave her, it might have been his first time seeing her like this too. She looked good in that simple dress, Levana had to admit. No frills and no embellishments was Sybil's style.

Astronema got to be the flower girl, after much begging and whining, and Winter had carried the rings. The ceremony had gone normally...right up until the point where Aimery swept Sybil off her feet for the kiss. Sybil blushed the darkest shade of red yet and the crowd had laughed. And then Aimery had carried her off down the isle, amid sputtering protests by Sybil. It was cute and uniquely them – a personal touch to an otherwise bland ceremony.

There was cake, there was music, and there was dancing; Aimery had a turn with everyone, including Astronema who he had to bend over almost in half to dance with. Sybil was the most relaxed she'd ever seen and her normally reserved personality had been replaced with a smiling girl who acted more like a teenager than the thaumaturge she knew so well. Ah the things love could do to people.

When Sybil tossed her bouquet, she stood off to the side instead of being among the few women standing in a crowd. There was a distinctive whoop that rang out and she turned to look with a sigh. Yup, Astronema had somehow managed to catch the bouquet despite being shorter than all the others around her. Of all the luck. Well, she supposed it was alright – it wasn't as if she was going to let her little star get married anytime soon. She was still far too young for things like that and Levana had every intention of enjoying the years she had left where her daughter's heart belonged to her and her alone.


	11. Chapter 10: Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astronema & Winter plan a birthday party for Levana  
> Sybil and Aimery welcome an addition to the family

Winter found herself walking towards the solar with butterflies in her stomach. A month ago during some time together she and Asti had come up with the idea to throw their mother a birthday party. After their time with her locked in the bunker almost a year ago they had been talking back and forth about something to do for her, something to show they cared. It had taken a long, long time to decide on a birthday party and even longer to come up with a plan. They had, eventually, involved Sybil and Aimery with their idea to basically run interference. The rest of the party had been done by Asti and herself. Over the course of the past weeks, they had secretly bought the supplies and prepared the decorations which they had then had to hide in their rooms. They had ordered food and cakes with Aimery's help (since they were both too young to order food). The presents had been purchased and the room selection had been set.

They had both been a bit jittery all morning – their mom was always very perceptive, thus throwing a surprise party under her nose was no easy task. Winter had been worried that she would notice their odd behavior that morning but she had said nothing. After they were sure she had gone off to court, the setup had began starting with four or five trips upstairs to get all of the stuff. Her and Astronema had finished setting everything up for the party. All the decorations were perfect, all of the presents were displayed, all of the food was ready, and both of the other guests (Sybil and Aimery) were waiting. All that was missing was the guest of honor herself. Astronema had quickly decided that it should be her who went to get their mom.

“You go get mother!” Astronema had told her with a grin. “Mother knows me way too well – she'll know immediately I'm up to something if it's me who goes to get her. But she won't do that for you!”

She had agreed with Asti's logic and thus was on her way to get mom now. But how she was going to get her to come was another issue entirely.

Winter didn't have a clue how she was going to manage this.

/////

“What exactly did Sybil say she needed me for?” Her mom asked as they made their way down the hallway.

“Oh, I'm not sure. I didn't think it was appropriate for me to ask her.” Winter smiled.

The queen huffed. “I still do not see why I have to go to her.”

“Mom, she's very, very pregnant – Sybil's due any day now. I seem to remember you recounting to her how hard it was for you to walk around for too long when you were pregnant with Asti. Making poor Sybil walk all this way and up all those stairs in her state?” Winter asked her softly. “And since they're still doing all that maintenance work, the portos are acting up so even if she sent you it, you might not get it. So this is the best solution – a little walk never killed anyone.”

Her mom sighed. “You have a good point, dear.”

Winter was glad she had remembered about the workers on her way up the elevator – it had given her the last part of a plausible lie to tell her mom. Walking side by side with her down to the room was still making her nervous; she was still expecting her mom to figure it out and ruin the surprise. But it was going well so far. They walked on.

“Why did Sybil ask you though?” Her mom asked as they headed down another flight of stairs.

“Oh, I was just passing through where she was sitting looking for Asti and she looked so grumpy I had to ask why. With the portos acting up, she apparently couldn't reach Aimery to tell him to do it so I volunteered to help since I wasn't really doing much.” Winter lied smoothly with a soft smile.

“How very thoughtful of you.” Her mom ruffled her curls. “You are such a kind girl, Winter.”

She smiled up at her mom. “Thank you.”

They reached the doorway. Winter stepped forward and grabbed the handle.

“Here we are, mom!” She said a little louder than normally. She pulled the door open and stepped aside.

The queen gave her an odd look

“I made you walk all the way here because I didn't think to ask for the message. The least I can do is hold the door for you.” Winter told her. “After you.”

Her mom just shook her head softly and gracefully swooped past her into the first room. The room was dark with only the light coming from the back room illuminating the path. When the door swung shut behind Winter, the darkness was almost pitch black. Winter shifted her way to the right side and grabbed the popper from the chair. She could fell Asti's presence on the surface of her mind.

One.

Two.

Three!

The lights came on in a flash and four people all pulled their poppers sending sparkling confetti and streamers into the air. The queen took an unconscious step back into the door with a gasp.

“SURPRISE!” They all cheered together.

Winter slid her gaze to her mom's face. She looked absolutely shocked. Winter watched her eyes go around the room. Astronema standing by the far wall, Sybil sitting to the side, Aimery by the light switch, and herself on the right. Streamers and ribbons on the walls and the table. Confetti everywhere. A pile of presents wrapped in shimmering paper and tied with bows. And, in the center of the table, a big white cake.

“This....this is for...me?” The queen finally stammered out.

“Yes, this is all for you.” Winter said gently.

“We all know how much you hate the annual ball that is traditionally thrown.” Aimery said.

Sybil continued on. “And how you have to deal with annoying nobles and barely get any cake.”

“So we decided to throw you a better party!” Astronema giggled.

“A party with no dancing.” Aimery smiled.

“No nobles.” Sybil grinned.

“And tons of cake.” Winter finished.

“So, for once, you can enjoy your birthday!” Astronema smiled brightly.

There was a moment of silence where no one said anything. Winter watched as her mom's expression shifted from surprise to an expression that Winter called 'touched' and finally settled on happy. She smiled.

“Thank you. All of you, thank you.” She sounded on the verge of tears.

“Let's get this party started!” Astronema cheered.

Winter giggled as both her sister and her mom immediately made their way towards the cake. Her mom cut four thin pieces which Astronema handed out to Sybil, Aimery, and Winter herself before grabbing the last one. She took a forkful of cake. It was delicious and creamy.

“That's not fair!” Asti pouted.

Winter looked up and giggled. In contrast to the four thin slices she'd cut for everyone else, her mom had sectioned a huge wedge for herself. A wedge that was likely at least a fourth of the full cake. Her sister was giving her mom a glare.

“My party, my birthday, my cake.” Her mom mumbled as she practically devoured the wedge.

Aimery chuckled beside her. “Good thing we got two cakes.”

/////

Their mom had kept that glowingly happy grin for the remainder of the day, even though the annual birthday ball. Seeing her look so happy and effervescent during an event that normally made her annoyed was proof of how happy the party had made her. She had even allowed Asti and Winter to both drag her onto the dance floor and have a turn each. All the meticulous planning and work was well worth the effort just seeing how happy she was.

That night Winter was still so happy when she went to bed she couldn't keep the grin off her face. Her mom came to tuck her in with that smile still on her face and Winter got three kisses instead of just one. She sighed; it was all worth it. It really was.

/////

A few days after the party Winter was relaxing in her room drawing in her notebook when Asti came charging in with this giant smile.

“WinWin! WinWin! Get up! Get up!” Astronema chirped. “Come on, let's go! Come with me!”

She grabbed onto Winter's hand and pulled her towards the door.

“What's going on, Asti?” She asked her curiously as she allowed her sister to lead her.

Astronema smiled brightly at her. “Sybil had the baby!”

A new baby! Winter gasped and then smiled. She gladly ran alongside Asti down towards the Astronema's room. They had prepared a gift basket for the occasion weeks ago. Once the basket was in Winter's arms they headed down to medical sector. Was it a girl or a boy? What did he or she look like? Sybil was always so strong and smart while Aimery was such a carefree jester – what would a child with those parents be like? They were about to find out some of those answers now.

Astronema led the way into the room and quickly found the room where Sybil was. Sybil looked very tired but she managed a smile when they walked in. Winter carefully placed the basket on the side table.

“It's from the two of us.” Winter told her gently. “Congratulations, Sybil.”

“Is it a little boy or a little girl?” Astronema asked, eyes wide.

Sybil smiled at them. “It's a little boy. His name is Alexi.” She turned the little bundle of blankets in her arms slightly.

“A little boy! It'll be nice to another boy around.” Astronema cooed. “He's sooo cute!”

Winter had to agree. The little boy had the biggest, brightest gray eyes she had ever seen. He was a dark as Aimery and had a little tuft of black hair on his head. “He is so precious. Can I hold him?”

Sybil nodded and handed over the bundle to Winter. She adjusted the little boy in her arms and smiled down at him. Those wide eyes were now staring up at her. Winter's smile turned into a huge grin; he was an adorable little baby. Asti looked over her shoulder with a big smile.

“So cute!” Astronema cooed. “I wanna hold him next!”

Sybil nodded and Winter carefully handed Alexi over to Astronema. Her sister smiled brightly and rocked the little baby in her arms. She was positively beaming. Even Sybil giggled at her enthusiasm. Astronema just grinned and continued to rock the little boy.

“Knock, Knock. I've brought a guest, dear.” Aimery stuck his head in the door. Winter smiled at him. “Although I see you already have some guests.”

Aimery walked in with a grin and after him came Winter's mom. She took in the two of them standing there and shook her head.

“I should have known that you two would beat me down here.” The queen smiled. She turned her attention to Sybil. “How are you doing, Sybil? Feeling alright?”

Sybil nodded. “A little tired, but otherwise fine, my Queen.”

“So where is the little man?”

“With me, mother!” Astronema chimed in. “He's just too cute!”

Winter watched with a grin as her mom bent down and took the child from her sister with practiced ease. She tucked him into the crook of her arm.

“Well, he is adorable! A lovely little baby boy.” Her mom smiled softly. “Congratulations Sybil, Aimery.”

“Thank you, your Majesty.” Aimrey bowed.

“Thank you, my Queen.” Sybil grinned.

Winter smiled brightly. Life was going to be so much more fun with a new little friend around.


	12. Chapter 11: Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a ball, the unthinkable happens.

“But, mother, do I really have to?”

Levana turned in her seat to face Astronema with a sigh. “Why do you not want to go to the ball, my star?”

“It's just that...it's boring for me. I don't understand half of what the nobles talk about normally. When they come around me, they always act like I'm this stupid little child and ask questions you would ask a five year old. Having to answer the same questions again and again is tiresome. And I can't even dance with anyone since there are no other kids besides me and Winter: anyone who wanted to would have to bend over in half to reach me.” Astronema wrung her black gloved hands together. “All I ever do during these balls is smile, eat, and stand by you. I think that using the time to study or practice some skills would be a more constructive use of time.”

Levana smiled softly; her star had come a long way. These arguments used to be about how Astronema didn't want to do something but now she was arguing with logic instead of emotion. She was proud of her daughter, but that didn't mean she was going to allow her to win.

“My dear, I know that feeling all to well. I used to feel the same way when I was your age.” She beckoned Astronema to her and gently cupped her face in her hands. “I used to try to get sick to avoid them and, when that did not work, I became a wallflower, hiding in the corner behind an unrecognizable glamour.

“But as I got older, I learned it was important to go to such things, if only for the learning experience.” She explained softly. “You will find it is valuable to learn which nobles do not like each other and what issues each likes to bring up. A party is a place where most of them relax – by observing carefully, you can see parts of their true natures. With that knowledge on hand, it becomes much easier to know which noble to press to change their mind on certain issues and which pairings are doomed to failure, despite having cooperating skill sets.”

Astronema blinked. “So you want me to watch them and learn about them. I don't have to talk to them too much, just watch them talk to others and remember stuff?”

She nodded. “That is something you can do for me, yes?”

Astronema smiled and nodded. “I'll do my best, mother.”

Levana ran a hand through Astronema's curly hair. “Perhaps you would like something special to help you remember and focus?”

“Something special?” Astronema smoothed down her ruffled black dress's wild skirt. “Like a present?”

She laughed. Oh how her daughter was so much like her. “No, dear, not exactly. More like a loan.”

Levana turned back around to her mirror-less vanity and reached for an ornate box. Astronema walked over to stand beside her as she opened the lid. From amid the pins, brooches, rings, and necklaces Levana took out a single bracelet. It was rose gold inlaid with amber and diamonds.

“This was my favorite piece of jewelry when I was your age. It will go lovely with your black dress and will match your tiara. I will lend this to you for tonight, if you promise me two things: that you will take care not to lose this and that you will not leave the ball early.”

She twirled the bracelet in front of Astronema so that the light caught the gems and caused them to sparkle. “Do we have a deal, Astronema?”

Astronema nodded ferociously. “Yes, mother, deal! I'll take good care of it – I promise!”

“You are getting older, my star. You will be a teenager soon and old enough by Lunar law to become Queen should the need arise.” Levana smiled and slid the bracelet onto Astronema's right wrist. “Show me you can handle some increased responsibilities and maybe I will allow you to help me run court soon.”

Astronema beamed her a giant smile. “I'll do my best, mother!'

“I know you will. Now my star, let us go and greet our guests.” She stood and held her hand out. Astronema gladly grabbed it with her own and the two headed out the door together.

~~~~~~

She left Astronema with Winter by the throne and followed Sybil and Aimery to the main hall to greet the nobles. They flooded in past the guards, each reaching her and bowing or curtsying. Each complimenting her about something in a vain attempt to win her favor. She plastered on a glamoured smile as the sheep continued to pass by and Sybil checked their names off of her list. Within ten minutes of opening the main doors, Sybil turned to her with a nod that she knew meant everyone was here and with that, she headed back inside.

The food was already out and the live music from the musicians was already playing. Nobles were eating and dancing and talking to one another. She gazed at the clock as she made her way through the crowed floor – just three hours of this. Only three hours.

~~~~~~

She was bored. It was only an hour into the ball and she was bored. She had made a big speech to Astronema about the importance of these balls but, in reality, she hated them as much if not more than her star did. She wasn't about to dance with anyone and no noble was being dumb enough to approach her in the open for favors tonight. All she had being doing was eating some food and drinking champagne. She took another drink of her champagne, letting the bubbles dance on her tongue, before rising back to her feet.

Why the cooks had put the food at the furthest corner away from her throne she had no idea but someone was going to get reprimanded for it in the morning. Levana deposited the glass on a server's tray and made her way through the crowds. A few nobles turned towards her but no one blocked her way. Finally the table was in sight, filled with delicious treats. She took a step and her foot knocked into something on the floor. She glanced down, blinked, and then bent down it pick it up.

It was her bracelet, the one she had lent to Astronema for the night. She groaned; it had only been and hour and Astronema had lost it already! So much for doing her best to take care of it.

“Astronema!” She called out, her voice easily audible over the crowd. “Astronema!”

She waited for a moment but there was no answer and Astronema did not run up to her. She walked over towards the musicians and motioned for them to stop. The music immediatelty ceased and the conversations of the nobles followed suit. Some turned to stare at her.

“Astronema, where are you? Come here this instant!”

There were murmurs. Nobles looked around the room in confusion. But still, Astronema did not appear. She was beginning to get annoyed. She knew Astronema didn't like these parties but she had thought after their talk that she would have stayed and not ran off upstairs, especially after she had promised. She waved to the musicians and started the music again and then headed for the doors, intent on heading upstairs and giving Astronema a scolding.

She brushed past her guests out into the main hall and headed towards the elevators. She was annoyed and angry; what is the world was Astronema thinking? She pressed the button to call the elevator but the bong of the bell was drowned out.

“Mom? MOM? MOM?!”

It was Winter. She moved down the hallway back towards the hall. “Winter?”

Winter spotted her immediately and ran over, completely out of breath. “Mom! Mom! I – They – she!” Winter stammered out a jumble of words, her face panic stricken, and her body trembling. “Asti! Asti!”

She grabbed Winter's shoulders and held her still. “What's wrong, Winter? Calm yourself and tell me! What about Astronema?”

Winter took several long gasping breaths and her body stopped trembling so hard after a moment. “I – we.” She took another huge breath. “Me and sis we were getting food from the table. And then this lady came up to me and started talking with me. She was asking about the food, said she had an allergy, and asked what was in what. So I told her to wait there and I went to find the cook to help her. I left Asti there. I got the cook and we were heading back to help the lady. And I brushed into someone as I walked by and I looked and it was Asti. She was with this older woman who couldn't walk well and she yelled back to me that she was helping her find the bathroom.

“So I brought the cook to the lady who was oh so happy about it and thanked me a lot and then I thought I'd see where Asti went. So I headed out towards the bathrooms in the hall. But there was no one there, so I checked the bathroom. There was no one there – no old lady and no sis. So I started heading back towards the ballroom, figured I had just missed her on the way. But...but the door that leads to the main entrance hall was open and I wondered why so I went over and I saw – I saw!” Winter's panic was coming back. “There was man running out towards the door and he was carrying something under his arm. I thought he was a burglar stealing something but then I realized it was sis! He took sis!”

She gaped down at Winter, unable to process what she had just heard. She was frozen in place. Aimery, who had arrived behind her sometime during the conversation, did not freeze and immediately ran out the still open door and down the stairs. He was quickly followed by Sybil and then a group of guards. Winter had thrown herself into her arms and was crying hysterically; Levana's hands wrapped around her back automatically. Her eyes drifted down to the bracelet she was still holding in her hand. Astronema...Astronema was gone? Taken?

In a single movement, she jumped to her feet, swinging Winter up into her arms with strength she didn't know she had. She rushed down the stairs and towards the main door, following the path her thaumaturges had taken only minutes ago. She reached the main doorway and stopped: the two guards that had been left there were unconscious on the floor in front of her, both sporting bloody bruises on their heads. She hadn't thought there needed to be more than two here: she never expected someone was going to break out instead of in on the night of a huge ball! She moved to the doorway and stopped.

Guards were swarming the bridge and running into the city. She could not see Aimery or Sybil and knew that they both must already be in the city looking. A group of lower rank thaumaturges brushed past her and headed down the stairs to join in the pursuit. Or was it now a search? Levana felt her legs go weak and dropped to knees, Winter still crying against her. This couldn't be happening. This really couldn't be happening.

Astronema!

~~~~~~

The third ranking thaumaturge, who Sybil had apparently assigned to stay behind and whos name Levana could not remember, dismissed the ball guests through the side door while she remained frozen on the front steps. Only once all the nobles and musicians and servants had gone did the man come and help her to her feet and lead her back inside. She sat on the throne in the now empty ballroom with Winter in her lap. She was shocked while Winter was still in tears. A servant brought her tea which she didn't touch.

She sat there in the empty room with nothing but the sound of Winter's tears for a long time. Winter eventually cried herself to sleep against Levana's chest and was then carried up to her bedroom by that third ranking thaumaturge. The servants warmed her tea and encouraged her to drink but she didn't. She just sat there and waited.

Sybil returned. Her head thaumaturge looked tired, dirty, and distraught. She shook her head once. Levana started to cry. She barely heard Sybil walk up to her and tell her how Aimery and all the others were still looking. She barely responded as Sybil led her upstairs and helped her change into a nightgown and then helped her into bed. She laid there in darkness crying with Sybil sitting on the foot of her bed until exhaustion and sleep took her.

When she awoke in the morning Sybil was still there and Aimery had joined her. Neither were smiling.

Her baby. Her daughter. Her star. Her Astronema.

She was gone.


	13. Chapter 12: Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The struggle of being without Astronema weighs on Levana and Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place over the span of a full year. Mildly graphic descriptions of death, mutilation, torture, and childbirth. Mentions of rape.

Having to tell Winter that her sister was gone, was missing, was one of the hardest things Levana had ever had to do before. Watching Winter break down into tears again was heart wrenching; this was her other daughter and seeing her cry hurt. She spent the day with Winter, just letting her cry whenever she felt like it and holding her. Sometimes she cried right alongside Winter. Other times, she cried and Winter didn't, but those were rare occasions. Winter often spent the nights that followed in her bed beside her, clinging to her as if letting go would kill her. She didn't mind; she understood the feeling all too well.

The hardest thing became walking into Astronema's room and seeing all her things but no Astronema. Random areas and objects would stir up memories of her and reduce Levana or Winter or both of them to tears. She tried her best to continue on. Her thaumaturges were out day and night under the command of that third ranked man she still couldn't remember the name of. They followed tips and responded to letters and calls; they checked basements, attics, and homes. Still nothing. Still no Astronema. The only comfort Levana had was that she didn't have a body yet; her daughter was still alive. Whoever had taken her wanted her alive.

She noticed a massive change in Sybil after about a week. Sybil who was normally there with her everyday was becoming a rare sight. And the days that Sybil did show up to be besides her, she looked haggard and as if she hadn't slept at all. It was annoying to have her best thaumaturge practically useless in the time she needed her most. After a few days with no change, Levana confronted Aimery. Aimery hadn't wanted to talk to her but, upon her insistence, had confided that ever since Astronema had gone missing Sybil had been having nightmares of Alexi being taken. He went on about how Sybil was waking up in the middle of the night again and again, sometimes screaming, and then would run to check on Alexi.

She understood immediately. Sybil, who had though herself unprepared to be a mother at even thirty and had fretted like a headless chicken about being one, was now even more scared. It was out of kindness and the gratitude towards Sybil who had worked for her tirelessly for the past ten years that Levana made her way to see Sybil that afternoon and became Sybil's shoulder to cry on. It was Levana who built Sybil back up as her head thaumaturge had often done for her. In that moment, one thing became very clear to her for the first time: Sybil wasn't just her thaumaturge, Sybil was her friend.

She gave Sybil a more secure living area to try and ease her anxiety and she didn't even complain when Sybil would bring Alexi with her, no matter how much his presence reminded her of the days when she would bring Astronema while sitting besides Channary. She needed Sybil, now more than ever before, and if this is what it took to keep her here, Levana was going to do it.

~~~~~~

Weeks turned into months with nothing changing. The thaumaturges were out day and night and still there was no sign of her daughter. She had even gone out herself in a glamour trying in vain to find her star's signature. Nothing. Not one tip, not one clue, not anything.

Her heart felt empty. The pain had lasted for a while but now she felt nothing - no happiness, no sadness, just nothing at all. Her baby was gone and Levana's heart had gone away with her.

It was difficult to drag herself out of bed. She didn't feel like going to court much if at all. She had taken to allowing Sybil and Aimery run it for her most days; she was more grateful than ever she had taken the time to help Sybil back then for her help now was invaluable. The days when she did show up for court, she found herself staring aimlessly at the empty throne besides her. She would sometimes wander into Astronema's room, lay in her star's bed, and just cry. Other days she would fish out Astronema's memory book with the photographs of everyone and just stare at the one of Astronema on the first page. She had hated this book, these photographs, but now it was the only real picture of her baby she had.

The only thing that kept her going was the thought that her daughter was still alive and that one day she might get to see her again. She would spend hours in her Solar looking down at the city and trying to figure out where her little star could be. She kept hoping for a clue, for a sign. None came. The months continued to pass.

~~~~~~

That morning started like any other day. Another day of misery and having to force herself away, force herself to eat. A boring morning in court where Sybil basically did everything for her. A lunch she choked down. And then laying on the floor in the Solar looking down at the city in the afternoon with random bouts of crying. It was almost a full years since that day and she still cried. Sybil came to sit by her, to bring her tea to try and help, and to rub her back in soothing circles. She cried on Sybil's shoulder for the umpteenth time.

And then Aimery rushed in through the door dragging a young lady with blonde hair. A young girl, who at Aimery's urging, began to speak about how she had begun working for a noble as a maid and how he had specially told her to never go into a certain room. She spoke about how her curiosity had gotten the better of her and how she had peaked inside. And who she had seen, who she had spoken to.

Levana was on her feet in an instant. Hope had taken root in her empty heart and blossomed into flowers in the span of a moment. She had dropped all of her decorum, all of her dignity, and had hugged the girl as tight as she could. She left the girl with Sybil and charged out with Aimery at her side.

They had an address and she had an army of thaumaturges ready to go at her call.

It was time to get her star back and kill anyone who stood in her way.

~~~~~~

She charged through the doors alone, trusting her thaumaturges to clear out the rest of the guards. Entering the estate had been easy but they had soon run into the manor's guards. She had dispatched her thaumaturges to subdue them and placed Aimery in charge. Then she alone had headed into the west hall. She could feel Astronema's signature. It was faint but it was there and she intended to reach her no matter what it took. Any guards who were foolish enough to get her in way had their minds ripped to pieces by her in an instant. She left a trail of bodies in her wake as she rushed towards the doors. She could hear her – she sounded like she was crying or whimpering. Her baby, her star was in pain! With all the fury in the world, she slammed the doors open.

It was bedroom. She could see from the doorway Astronema laying in the bed on her side and standing over her was a man. A man who turned to face her in shock. A man who's face she recognized. A noble. A member of her court. The man who had taken her daughter. Before he could even turn to go back towards her baby, she seized control of his body and mind. She funneled all of her rage as she dug through his memories, forcing him to relive every single painful and frightening and awful one. She held him in place with her thoughts as he screamed and screamed, the sound music to her ears. And then when he had finally finished screaming and was laying there on the floor a sobbing mess, she forced him to his feet.

She had originally intended to let him rot in prison but in his memories she had seen what he had done to her baby. How he had forced himself on her star. How he had stolen her innocence, her purity from her. How he hadn't cared about the amount of pain he had put her in. And how he had done it again and again. Rotting away in jail was too good for someone like **him**. She was going to make him pay right here and now. She was going to make him hurt, make him scream, and make him die.

She walked him to the desk in the room and had him grab the letter opener there. And then she made him stab himself, staring with the part of him that would hurt most: his family jewels. Again and again she made him plunge the dull blade into himself. When she was satisfied with his work, she made him move onwards and stab his legs, his feet, his bottom, his arms, his stomach, and his chest. It was only when he was too weak to hold the blade any longer than she dropped her control and let him fall to the floor and writhe in agony. She glared at him as the light faded from his eyes and his heart stopped.

Only then did the whimpering draw her attention away. Her star - Astronema! She dashed over to the bed and touched her baby's face, noting she was all sweaty.

“Astronema! I'm here. It's okay, I'm here.”

Bleary brown eyes opened and looked up towards her. Disbelief flooded her daughter's face which turned to shock and then relief. “Mother? Is it really you? Mumma?” She pushed herself partially up in bed to stare at her face.

“Yes, my star. It's me.” She leaned forwards and pressed kisses to her forehead. “I'm here, I'm here. I'm sorry it took me so long, my star. But I'm here now and everything will be okay.”

Astronema smiled, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. “Mother.” Her star smiled so brightly at her and for a moment, everything seemed perfect.

And then a look of pain crossed Astronema's face and she collapsed back onto the pillow, her hand vanishing under the sheets as she whimpered. Levana grabbed the covers in both hands and tossed them away to be able to see what the problem was. Had that man stabbed her? Was she bleeding?! She immediately saw what the issue was but the sight froze her in place.

Oh stars...no. No no no no no. No! This couldn't be happening; it just **couldn't!** Her daughter...her baby... She was pregnant. But not just pregnant but pregnant AND in labor.

Oh stars...

~~~~~~

Her first instinct was to get her baby into a comfortable position on the bed. Once Astronema was propped up with the pillows and blankets she had checked her daughter over from head to toe. The only other obvious thing she noticed besides the very obvious stomach was the collar fixed around her neck. It took a while for her to be able to pull the latch apart with her nails and then break the metal contraption off. The second she pulled the thing off she felt Astronema's aura flair back to life. She growled – so this was why she had never been able to sense her baby! He had put this...this thing on her neck and suppressed her gift! Having her star's aura fill the room relaxed her a bit and she smiled at her girl, trying to comfort her.

It had been hard to have her own child but it was a million times harder to watch Astronema suffer through it. It was more painful than her own experience to just sit there and be able to do noting but watch as Astronema screamed and whimpered in pain. She had been seventeen when she had brought Astronema into this world and she had thought she was too young to be a mother. Sybil had had her son at thirty and had said the same thing. But now, Astronema was going to be a mom too...and she was barely thirteen.

Her brain was having trouble processing this. She'd told herself a thousand times but still her brain kept telling her that **no** , something must be wrong with that! But...it wasn't wrong. No matter how many times she tried to fool herself, this was actually happening.

Stars, her baby was having her a baby. Her baby who had been taken from her...her baby who had been forced to sleep with a man three times her age... her baby who wasn't even an adult yet was having a baby of her own. Her baby who was still very much a baby herself was having a baby. Stars how she hated that man. She had killed him in the most painful way possible but with every passing second she wished he was still alive so she could kill him again. She was helpless. All she could do was hold her baby and wait.

~~~~~~

“It hurts! It hurts! It's hurts so bad! Why?! Why?!” Astronema was visibly shaking, her face streaked with tears from crying and the sweat that seemed to be pouring down her face. “Mother! Make it stop – make it stop!”

“I can't, Astronema. I can't.” Levana held her close and pressed kisses to her forehead. “Just keep pushing, dear. Keep going and it will all be over soon.”

Astronema screamed loudly; the sound broke her heart. She wished she was able to take this pain away from her star, to be able to take away this burden. But she couldn't. She couldn't spare her daughter this pain. An hour and a half they'd been like this. An hour and a half of Astronema screaming and pushing and crying. She was doing her absolute best to be calm and positive; she didn't want to panic Astronema by being all upset herself. Levana thought her own labor had been bad but it was worse with Astronema. She didn't know if it was because it was more painful for Astronema (she had no way to know for sure) or because it was **her daughter** going through this. Was it worse to suffer through this yourself or to watch the person you loved most do it? The answer was now obvious to Levana.

“Oh! It's getting worse! Why...” Astronema cried. “No! No no no! Stop it! Stop!”

Levana shifted her position slightly and actually breathed a slight sigh of relief. “I can see the head, dear. Keep going, you're almost there!”

The hand clenching hers tightened as her daughter complied with the order. “Oh stars! I can't! I can't do this!”

“Yes you can! Don't stop, Astronema! Keep going! That's it! That's it!” She managed to smile up at her, to give her a look of real encouragement. “It's just one more – just one more big push!”

Astronema screamed, the loudest scream by far, and at last ended her ordeal. With great care, Levana deposited the bloody child onto the blanket with her one free hand. The tiny thing opened its mouth and began to cry as she rubbed it with the blanket. Astronema's dis-focused brown eyes landed on the form.

“Is it..?”

“It's a girl, dear.” Levana tossed the blanket over the tiny wailing child.

Astronema's arms closed over the tiny form, holding it to her chest. “A girl... a daughter...”

She shuffled herself around to hold Astronema by her shoulders. Levana pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. “You did very well, my star. You did very well indeed.”

She noticed that Astronema did not turn back to her; her daughter's gaze was focused on her daughter.

~~~~~~

She watched as the medics carefully rolled the stretcher away towards the waiting ship. Astronema and the little thing were both fast asleep. The team of royal medics loaded her onto the ship with care as Levana watched with a frown. She called the head doctor over with a finger.

“My Queen, the Princess is tired but her life is in no danger. The birth of her child has obviously exhausted her.” The man explained sagely, his head bowed. “However, she is still young so her recovery should be quicker than most's. I fully expect the Princess to be up and about with a few days.”

“You will make sure my daughter is alright and see to her every need. I want a full scan and a full battery of tests done – leave nothing untouched. I want to know about every cut and every bruise – everything!” She ordered him in a calm tone even though she was anything but. “Her health and recovery are to be your top priority. I don't care if you think she looks alright, I want to **know** for sure.”

“As you wish, your Majesty. It shall be done with all haste.” The doctor bowed deeply, then paused. “And what of the child, my Queen?”

“Let Astronema see it once she wakes up. Let her hold it and then once she is done with it...” Levana's eyes narrowed. “Kill it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah Astronema...my girl. I'm sorry for this but it's character development.  
> I'm sure the big question is WHY Levana wants the baby dead. Quite simply, she's against the idea that what that noble tried to accomplish will partially succeed, that a child with part of him will be royalty. She's also mad at the baby for turning her baby into a mother before she was ready, for putting Astronema through this ordeal. It's misplaced anger, but that's Levana – she's a mother hen about Astronema and someone threatening her child turns her into a vicious harpy.


	14. Chapter 13: Daily Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with Astronema back home comes with a brand new set of challenges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Around another full year passes during this chapter.

Winter was woken on what she was expecting to be a normal Friday by her mom. Well, technically the queen was her step-mom but she had always called her mom; she had been the only mom Winter had ever known after all. It was odd to be woken by her mom – normally she woke herself and went about her day. Today was special, she could just see it in her mom's eyes. Her mom waited until she was awake and then hugged her tight. And then she told Winter that her sister was safe; that her mom and some of the thaumaturges had gone out in the late afternoon the previous day and they had found Asti. Her eyes had immediately welled up with tears and she had started crying in mom's arms out of relief and joy.

Her mom had waited until she calmed down and then told her that it was going to be hard for Asti to get used to home again and that she shouldn't ask her questions about what had happened for Asti's sake. She learned from her mom that a noble man had taken her beloved sister, that he had held her captive, that he had hurt her, and that her mom had killed him for it. She cried some more out of sadness this time. Her mom hugged her and asked her to keep her promise from back then and to be a good sister for Astronema now when she needed it most. Winter had agreed immediately; she would do **anything** for her sister. She had said it every night before bed when she wished for Asti to come home: that she would do anything if that happened.

Then she and mother had gone down to the medical sector to see Astronema. Winter had sat on the bed beside her, hugged her, and then held her hand tight. Asti had mumbled something about a Nebula but her mom had told her to ignore it. Then her mom had talked to a doctor about something while she stayed with Asti. Asti didn't want to talk and she looked tired and smaller, like she had lost a lot of weight. She had just held her hand tight and told her how much she loved her.

They had taken Asti back up to mom's room and laid her in mom's bed. Winter had climbed in next to her and held her until she fell asleep. But her sister didn't stay asleep for too long – she woke up screaming from a nightmare and unsure of where she was. It took her and mom to calm her down. And it kept happening again and again. Sometimes it would happen when Asti was awake – mom told her those were 'daymares'. All Winter could do was stay with her and hold her and tell her she loved her.

The days passed with very little actually changing. Her sister still had nightmares and daymares. Her sister still didn't want to talk much if at all. Her sister had to be told to eat by their mom. It was heart wrenching to see her sister who had been so bubbly and happy like this. It hurt worse to not be able to really help. Winter could do nothing but hope that things would get better.

~~~~~~

In hindsight, Winter felt she should have known better than to have suggested taking Astronema to court with mom and her. She should have noticed how flinchy her sister was around men, especially strangers. She should have known that Astronema with her constant nightmares and daymares was anything but ready to be thrown in front of a crowd of strangers who would gawk at her. But Winter hadn't seen the signs – she had only thought that her dear Asti would be more comfortable with mom, the only person whos presence seemed to keep her afflictions at bay. In hindsight, it was a huge misstep that neither of them had caught.

The day had started fine – Asti had only had three bouts of waking up screaming the previous night and she had been able to calm her down twice without having to go for mom. Considering her sister had had them almost constantly in those first few weeks, three was a massive improvement. They had had breakfast together, the three of them, and for the first time since then Astronema had eaten her full plate without her or mom having to goad her on. It was looking like a good day.

Then they had gone to the throne room for court. Mom sat in the middle with her to her left and Asti to her right, the same as they always had. She noticed Asti was fiddling with her dress hem as their mom dealt with the morning reports from Sybil and then some other thaumaturges but there were no daymares, no screaming, and no zoning out from Astronema at all. She had seemed fine. Then the first noble had been allowed in and Winter had watched as all of the color just drained out of her sister's face.

She looked almost like a ghost, all white and wide-eyed and pressed as far into the left side of her chair as possible. Their mom hadn't noticed – her attention was fixed on the kneeling man before her. But Winter had seen. For a moment, she considered the possibility that this noble might have looked similar to **him** , which she had no way of knowing for sure since mom hadn't mentioned and she didn't dare ask Asti. Perhaps that was why Astronema was so scared? The man eventually left and her sister relaxed a bit; Winter shot her a comforting smile when she glanced over. The next two nobles were women and Asti had no response to either of them. Then there was a young teenage boy – still nothing from Astronema. Winter was beginning to think her assumption was correct, that the first man had looked similar to **him** and that was the issue. But noble number five was a man who looked nothing like the first one and he turned her sister into a ghost too.

So did noble number six and number ten. She began to see the pattern – grown men. Her sister turned into a ghost around grown men. Women and girls were fine and younger boys, teenagers and below, caused no reaction either. But grown men scared Asti. True, she wasn't screaming or hiding or running away as she had done before but surely having to sit there and endure was not a good thing for her. Then again, letting Asti leave would mean daymares...and that wasn't good either. So what to do? Winter thought and thought and thought through nobles eleven through eighteen before she had an idea. It was a bit of a crazy idea, but it was an idea.

She waited until their mid-morning break where mom would take Astronema to the bathroom (they had learned that it was best to have someone with her at all times when they were not in private) and then called over the four male thaumaturges who were serving in court that morning. They were a little confused at first so Winter put on her best imitation of her mom's “queenly glare” as she called it and that made them hurry off. Two minutes later they returned lugging the small couch from the parlor. She had them shift the throne chairs back a bit and place the couch on top the dais. Her mom gave her the oddest look upon returning to find the couch there. Winter simply smiled and gave a pointed glance towards Asti who was still clinging onto mom's dress. Her mom just nodded; she understood well enough.

With the ability to basically lean into their mom, Astronema looked much better during the second half of the morning. She no longer paled into a ghost when a man walked in although she did lean further into mom. There were no daymares. Her sister actually looked a bit better, a bit more like the Asti she knew and loved. Watching her sit there and almost smile was amazing. Their mom obviously thought so do based on how much she was smiling at Astronema and running her hand through her hair. Maybe Asti had finally turned the corner and was getting better. Maybe she would finally go back to being the Asti she had been before. For the first time in months, Winter had hope that Asti would be okay.

She should have know it was far too good to last.

~~~~~~

Astronema's screams drew her attention immediately away from her drawing. Dropping her pencil, she dashed into the next room. Asti was a shivering ball curled in the corner, her eyes wide as she screamed out again. Winter quickly went over to her and grabbed her in a hug, pulling her sister close.

It had gotten better and it had gotten worse. Her sister's nightmares had decreased in number to only one a night. But the intensity of those nightmares had only gotten worse – it now took her and mom to calm Astronema down. Her sister was no longer flinching around the male staff and, thanks to the couch, her sister was almost normal during morning court. She was eating normally too and without having to be told – she was even helping herself to seconds.

But the daymares...the daymares had gotten worse. Whenever her sister was without their mom, they would come. Sometimes they came even when Asti was sitting right next to her which hadn't happened at all before. Most of the time, she would hold Asti and Asti would eventually calm herself back down with the help of Winter's familiar arms. But sometimes...sometimes her sister got so freaked out, got so scared, that nothing Winter did helped her at all. And Winter would have to call mom.

She hated having to call mom for this – their mom was always so busy with her duties. Sure she would never complain about coming to help Asti, not at all, but Winter could see how those moments made her work later and later into the night. She could see how Asti's constant need for her was cutting into their mom's sleep, how tired she was in the morning sometime. It wasn't good for mom or Asti. But what else could they do? It was horrible to just let Astronema cry and scream for hours, which she would do with mom. There had to be something. There had to be something she could do! Her sister was now whimpering in her arms, the worst of her daymare gone. Winter just held her close; it was all she could do for her.

She lied later that day when their mom asked how many times Asti had had daymares. She had said four; it had really been six. Astronema said nothing to correct her and Winter smiled through her lie; it was to make mom feel better.

~~~~~~

The next day, Winter found herself watching two people: her sister and four year old Alexi. There was some kind of big meeting going on with all of the thaumaturges and mom so Sybil had asked her to watch Alexi. Winter didn't mind – Alexi was quiet and well behaved. She gave him paper and some markers and Alexi would draw for hours without complaint. No, the real one she had to watch was Asti. No mom and no way to disturb her – it was a recipe for a disaster-filled afternoon of daymares. Winter tried to prepare herself for the worst.

And then the unthinkable happened – they ran out of paper! She had forgotten the previous evening to go and get more from the supply room downstairs. She glanced over; both Asti and Alexi were coloring. It was just a quick walk downstairs and her sister would have her daymares with or without her here....it was worth the risk. She smiled and told them both she was going for more paper and she would only be gone for three minutes tops. Asti had smiled at her and thus she had went.

She had really meant only three minutes.

But Miss Jenni needed her input on the stew and then Mr. Luto had stopped her to show her the crystals he had gotten for science class. Then Kron had passed her and dropped his papers by accident so she had helped him clean those up and then she had run into a maid who needed her approval for the color of her new sheets mom had made her order. Only then did she make it into the closet and WOW! – were those new brushes? And paints? Oh and the colored paper – there were more colors now! Winter lost herself in looking at new supplies. By the time she had loaded her arms with the paper and a bunch of other new things the main clock told her she had been gone for an hour. An hour!

In disbelief of her own scatterbrain she had ran back upstairs expecting to find the worst...only to find Astronema and Alexi still drawing together. No daymares – no screaming. She stood in the doorway in stunned silence. Only mom's presence ever did that to Asti; only mom ever relaxed her enough to stop them. But now...Alexi was doing it too somehow? She dropped off the paper by them and walked into the next room to put the supplies away. She even took out her painting and worked on that for a while. Still nothing. Winter would go back to the doorway and stare in shock at them every once in a while – how?

When mom came back, she frowned at Winter for painting and leaving her sister alone. But she grabbed her mom's hand and led her to the doorway to let her see. Her mom watched for a moment in silence, then turned to her.

“How many?” she whispered softly.

'How many daymares' was what she was asking, the question her mother always asked her. Winter just shook her head. Her mom blinked and stared at her. Winter smiled and shook her head again. Her mom's expression warped into shock as she turned back to look at Astronema and Alexi.

“How?”

Winter just shrugged; she didn't know.

They were joined in the doorway by Sybil who took in the scene of Astronema and Alexi with a smile.

“How is she?” Sybil whispered softly.

Her mom smiled. “Nothing.”

It was Sybil's turn to blink in confusion. “None at all?”

“There's something about Alexi that calms her...” Winter muttered softly.

Sybil turned back to the scene with a stunned expression. She was obviously having a hard time understanding this just like mom and just like Winter herself.

“I think we might have found you a new babysitter, Sybil.”

~~~~~~

It had been difficult to convince Sybil to leave Alexi alone with Astronema. But after one more afternoon where Winter checked in on them a few times and they had both been fine (Alexi had been well behaved as always and Astronema had had no daymares) Sybil had relented. Winter didn't know why but Alexi seemed to have the same calming effect on Asti as their mom did. And Alexi really didn't mind playing or drawing or just watching the netscreen with her sister at all, so that was a plus too! Between mom and Alexi, her sister's episodes were becoming less and less frequent. Her daymares had almost all but vanished and her nightmares had quieted down. Within a month of that day spent with Alexi, it was like the old Astronema was sort of back.

It made their mom smile again and it made her smile again. But, most of it, it was so nice to see Asti smile again. That didn't mean that things had gone back to normal entirely. Mom was still dragging Asti off to see therapists and doctors every other week and fretting over her like a headless chicken at times. Winter found that she too was doing things like checking in on Asti often and spending more time around her than ever before.

It was out of her desire to try and help Astronema more that Winter began having her sister do therapy painting once a week. She started her off with a canvas with shapes and just let her fill in the voids like a giant paint by number. When Asti got tired of that, she put on music and let her sister paint to the music. When she got tired of that, they did meditation first and then painted using their subconscious. By the end of two months, Astronema had eight paintings. Admittedly most of them looked like nothing much but Asti's last one had been a space scene. It was such a pretty picture with Luna, the Earth, stars, the sun, and a cluster! Asti liked it too and hung it up in her room although Winter strongly suspected it was only to make her happy.

Still her sister was getting better – she couldn't ask for more than that.


	15. Chapter 14: Nebula

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter jumps about 4 1/2 - 5 years forward from the previous chapter.  
> So Astronema is 18 here and Winter is 19.

It had been a little over five years since that day she had come home. But something still wasn't right. She had had nightmares, panic attacks, and flashbacks. She had gone through more medical tests than she knew existed, seen multiple therapists, and even some psychiatrists. But still, something was wrong. Something **felt** wrong and no one could tell her what it was. Nothing changed the feeling; nothing made it go away.

Astronema didn't understand at all. She wasn't lonely – she was surrounded by people who loved her and cared for her. She had mother and she had Winter, her two best friends. She had Aimery, Alexi, and even Sybil, her three other friends. All of those people loved her. She loved all of those people. So why? So why did her heart hurt so much? Why did it feel like there was something missing?

Pushing herself out of her bed, she sighed. She couldn't just lay around all day – she had to do something. She had to try and figure this out. But how? If she went to mother, she knew it would turn into a huge ordeal involving doctors and psychiatrists and therapists. Mother had been so much more protective of her ever since **that** had happened; there was no way to talk to her without this becoming a huge issue. Same thing with Sybil or Aimery – Sybil would go straight to her mother with this while Aimery would try to hide it but eventually be found out by Sybil. So no Sybil or Aimery. Alexi. Alexi was only 7 – she doubted her issues could be fixed by a seven year old. That left Winter...well Winter wasn't the person to talk too. Winter would have her draw or paint again. She turned to the wall where the last picture Winter had encouraged her to paint was.

It was Luna, shining brightly. The palace and the main part of the city were just barely visible. In the background Earth, the sun, a cluster, and lots of bright stars. Astronema froze. Wait a minute. Luna glowing white. White. Moon. Both were meaning of her mother's name, of Levana. The position of the Earth in the background in relevance to the sun, the tilt... it would be the winter solstice. Winter. Stars, bright orange stars. Well that was her, wasn't it. Star. Astron. Astronema. That only left...the cluster. The cluster of dust. There was a term for that – Nebula.

Nebula.

Her heart skipped a beat.

~~~~

Nebula.

That was the name she had given her daughter. The daughter that her mother had delivered that day she had finally been rescued from that awful place and that awful man. She had held the tiny bundle in her arms back in the medical sector and decided on Nebula. She had thought she was going to hate this baby as she had hated **him** but she didn't. Gazing down at her little hands, her dark skin that matched Astronema's own, her ebony hair that matched Winter's, and her big green eyes, the only thing that Astronema had felt was love. The little baby had grabbed her fingers and stolen her heart away. Astronema never wanted to let her go.

And then the doctor had come back and asked for her daughter and she had **known** something was wrong by the way he was looking at her. Probing his mind, she had easily found what her mother had ordered him to do. She had felt ill. Why? Why had mother ordered this?! Her eyes darted back and forth between the child in her arms and the doctor who was still frozen in her manipulation. What was she going to do? She was not going to allow them to kill her daughter, that was for sure! But there was also no way she could keep Nebula now – hiding a baby in the palace from her eagle-eyed mother was impossible!

And then hope had walked in through the door. A nurse. A nurse she knew by name: Cassi. A nurse she knew was leaving her job to care for her ailing parents. It was all to easy to convince Cassi to take Nebula, to raise her without telling her who her mother was. The money she had provided had helped but Cassi would have done it regardless – she was a nice person. She kissed Nebula on the forehead one more time and handed her off to Cassi.

When Cassi and her daughter were long gone, she turned her attention to the frozen doctor. It was difficult to go into his mind and modify his memories to make the man believe he had taken the baby, killed it, and burned the remains as ordered. It had been difficult but not impossible. Unless her mother really dug in, the lie would hold. Nebula would safe.

And now here Astronema was five years later. Her work had held, her mother had believed the doctor, and she had buried the truth deep inside her heart. But the truth had wanted to come back out again and it had in her painting.

Nebula. Nebbi.

Astronema would go and see her. Not in person but from afar. She had already called Cassi and explained that she wanted to see Nebula but not **see** Nebula. Cassi had understood, as Astronema had known she would, and given her the address of an old building with a roof that overlooked Cassi's home. It was a quick walk and with her glamour on no one bothered her. No one knew she was the Princess Astronema. She climbed the flight of metal stairs to the building's room and found a chair waiting for her. She sat herself down and found that right in front of her, down a little, and to the left was a rooftop garden. It was a quaint little thing with some flowers and what appeared to be vegetables growing.

The door leading to the garden swung open and a figure emerged. Cassi took a step out and looked up at her. They shared a nod. Then Cassi went back inside. A minute later the door swung open again but this time it was **her**. Nebula. She was smiling and laughing and oh so alive. Astronema watched in awe as she ran about the little garden with her dolls playing some kind of game. The way she smiled. The fluid movements she made as she twirled and jumped. The sound of her laugh. Astronema burned them all into her memory.

Her daughter. Her Nebula.

~~~~

It wasn't supposed to happen. It was just supposed to be an observational visit. It was just supposed to calm her heart, nothing more. She had been watching her for a while, watching her daughter play in her little garden. Her heart had settled and she felt much better knowing Nebbi was alright. Astronema had just stood up, just risen from her chair and turned to leave and **something** just made her turn back around. The odds were astronomical that she would notice her in this crowded skyline. But at that moment, she had. Her daughter had looked up towards just the right spot and their eyes had met.

Astronema remained frozen in place, unable to will her body to move. Perhaps she hadn't really noticed. Perhaps she wasn't really staring up at her. She forced herself to blink and when she looked down the garden was empty. She sighed, just a coincidence.

But then there were hurried footsteps on the metal steps behind her and she turned. And there she was. There she was standing less than five feet in front of Astronema gazing up at her with huge, wide eyes. The girl took a step, and then another, and then another, and then more until the child was standing right in front of her. Her bright green eyes stared up at Astronema.

“Mama?”

It only took that one word for her resolve to shatter. Astronema sank to her knees and threw her arms around the girl, around her Nebbi, and pulled her as close to her as she could. The girl's hands gripped onto her with surprising strength.

“Mama! Mama! I knew it! I knew it!” Nebbi sobbed against her chest.

Astronema sighed. Her heart was swelling with an abundance of emotion, the pain from earlier was nowhere to be found. She knew there was no way she could just leave. She couldn't. Nebbi was the missing part of her heart, the missing part of her **family**. She was going to bring her home. She was going to bring her daughter home today.

Oh stars...how was she ever going to explain all this to mother?

~~~~

They arrived back at the palace with no issues at all. Astronema had spent the whole walk back trying to think of how to break this news to her mother. She knew one thing for sure: bringing Nebbi directly to her would not bode well. She needed to face mother alone. But where was she going to leave Nebbi? She certainly didn't seem like the type of child who would sit still.

“Hello, Asti.”

She turned and smiled. “Hey WinWin.”

Winter smiled back at her.

“Hey, Win – that painting I did with you, the space scene? It helped me figure something out.” She told her gently. “So, thank you.”

Winter's smile turned into a grin. “Oh, that's wonderful, Asti!” She blinked and looked down. “Who is this, Asti?”

Astronema glanced down; Nebbi was peaking out from behind her.

“Oh, this is Nebula.” Astronema ruffled her hair gently. “Say hello, Nebbi. This is my sister Winter.”

“Hi.” Nebbi chirped softly with a half-wave.

Winter bent down to smile at Nebbi. “Hello, Nebula.”

Astronema smiled; it appeared her little chirpy bird was a bit shy around strangers.

“Who is she, Asti?” Winter asked her softly with a tilt of her head.

“She's my daughter.” Astronema said.

“Oh.” Winter just blinked at her. “Well have a nice day, Asti.”

And Winter just walked off without another word. Astronema sighed; that wasn't a good sign.

“She's....a bit of an odd duck, mama.” Nebbi finally said.

Astronema let out a bark of laughter. Things were not going to be dull with her little girl around. She still needed someone to watch Nebbi for her though; she had been hoping that maybe Winter would have. She frowned; what now? Just as she was about to march inside with Nebbi the sound of laughter caught her attention. She walked around the corner with Nebbi's hand in hers and spotted a crimson coat among the green hedges of the garden. She grinned: perfect.

~~~~

She left Nebbi with Alexi and Aimery after a little chat and headed up the staircase alone. Within minutes she was in the elevator heading upstairs. Heading to her mother's Solar to admit what she had done, the secret she had kept, was making her stomach feel full of butterflies. She was eighteen years old now but she still felt like a child when she had to face her mother and admit something. Her mother was still as intimidating as she had been when Astronema was a child, perhaps even more so now that she actually understood why.

The bell rang signifying she had reached the top floor. The doors slid open to reveal a lone guard before the inner door. With a gesture she dismissed him to the bottom of the elevator shaft – she did not need an audience for this. Astronema waited until the doors shut behind her before steeling herself and walking forward. There was no need to knock – only Sybil, Aimery, Winter, and herself were allowed here in the queen's room and no doubt her mother could already tell it was her.

Her mother was busy with her netscreen when Astronema slid in and shut the door behind her. The foreboding feeling in her stomach had only grown in strength. Just what was her mother going to say?

“Astronema,” her mother's voice rang out, calling her attention, “you seem well today. Feeling better, dear?”

She smiled and walked over towards the desk. “A bit.”

Her mother stood and rounded her white desk. She ran her hands over Astronema's cheeks. “You seem to have more color today. And that smile...it has been a long time since you have looked truly happy, my star. Something good has happened, yes?”

Astronema almost laughed; her mother could read her like a book. She suppressed the laughter with a grin. “I figured some things out.”

“Oh?” Her mother turned and walked towards the far wall which held a two person couch, the only other furniture in the room besides the desk. “Do come and tell me.”

She nodded and followed her mother, sitting down beside her on the plush couch. “It was actually a spur of the moment thing. I just happened to look at that painting that Win had made me do a while back and it struck me.”

“Winter's therapy painting actually helped?” Her mother's tone sounded surprised.

“I know, I felt that way too.” She giggled softly. “I didn't realize it had helped but I guess it did. I painted because she had told me it would help and because I didn't want to disappoint her; she was trying hard to help me too. I just painted without thinking and my subconscious chose what I did.

“Here, look.”

She withdrew her porto and opened up the gallery application. Years ago she and her mother had fought over the idea of a camera in a portscreen. That fight had caused a young her to defy her mother's rules and face a consequence of her own making. When she had come home after **that** had happened her mother had been the one to gift her this portscreen with a camera. Knowing how much her mother hated cameras had made the gift all the more special. Her mother had also taken hundreds of pictures of Astronema herself and printed them out, and then stuck them everywhere. She had gone along with it since it was clear her mother needed it.

She pulled up the picture she had taken of the painting and handed the porto over to her mother. “Take a good look. Notice anything...odd about this picture?” she asked her mother.

There was silence as her mother studied the photo. An outsider wouldn't have seen anything but Astronema was used to her mother's subtleties. The way her lips pinched together when she was thinking, the slight squint in her eyes that meant concentration, the quirk of her eyebrows that showed confusion.

“It appears to be a normal space scene, my star.” Her mother finally said. “I can't see what you can in this.”

“I thought that at first too.” Astronema said gently. “But then I realized this morning that it wasn't just a scenery picture. In reality, I painted a family portrait.”

Her mother turned her face to look straight at Astronema. “A family portrait?”

Astronema just smiled brightly. “Yes, indeed. Look.”

She traced her finger across the portscreen. “The most obvious thing in the painting is Luna. A big, bright, white Luna. White. Moon. I do believe that there is a certain someone's name which means both of those thing, yes mother?”

“Indeed, my name does.”

“And the position of the Earth here in relevance to the sun. Look at the way it's tilted.” She moved her finger over to point. “There's a special name for this position.”

“The Winter Solstice.” Her mother said and then clarification crossed her face. “Winter.”

“Yes. And then, of course, you can't miss all of the bright orange stars around either.”

“That's you, Astronema. Star. Astron. Astronema. And orange is your distinctive color.” Her mother was smiling now. “It really is a family portrait.”

“A portrait with one more element.” She moved her finger to point to the cluster.

“A cloud? A cluster?” Confusion clouded her mother's face. “There is no one left to fit this, Astronema.”

Astronema smiled softly. “Oh, but there is. We do, after all, have one in the family. A Nebula.”

She watched her mother's frown deepen as she thought and then confusion gave way to shock and then something near sorrow. Her mother's tone became gentle. “She's gone, Astronema. There is no more Nebula.”

“No, mother.” She smiled softly back.

“Astronema, she's dead! The doctor took care of her the day you came home on my orders.” Her mother looked away in what looked to be shame. “I'm sorry, my star, but she is gone.”

“No, mother. She isn't gone. My Nebbi is still very much alive. I found out what you planned for her and I decided that I didn't quite like that decision.” She waited until her mother turned back around to face her again. “I manipulated the doctor's memories to make him believe he had done as you asked and I sent her away.”

“Astronema...”

“She is my daughter. No matter who her father was, she is still mine, still part of me, a part of my family. I could no more discard her than anyone else I loved.” She said softly. “I couldn't stand by and allow her to be killed. She was mine, first and foremost. Despite how and why she was made, she was still mine. She didn't ask for that, she didn't ask for her father to be her father or for me to be her mother. She carried no blame in this. She was just like me, another victim. And, from the moment I laid eyes upon her, I loved her.”

She slid her arm around her mother's shoulders. “I know why you did what you did. I know you were trying to protect me. You were angry and upset. You killed him for what he had done to me, but it didn't stop those feelings. You couldn't be mad at me so you became mad at her. Mad at what she represented.

“You turned into father for a moment.”

“I...I tried doing to her what Evret did to you, only I took it farther.” Her mother's face paled rapidly. “Oh Astronema, I didn't mean for-”

“It's okay, it's fine. I can understand.” Astronema cut her off gently. “I'm not mad, mother. I'm not angry or upset or disappointed: I understand how you felt then, and how you feel now. I understand how it feels to realize that your best intentions turned into something awful and hurtful. I'm guilty of doing that too. I did it so many times as child without realizing it. Remember my photo book?”

Her mother nodded slowly. “A photograph is hardly comparable to trying to kill someone, dear.”

“We all make mistakes, we are all only human. What is important is that we learn from the mistakes we make, that we forgive others for the mistakes they make, and that we use the experiences to grow closer to those around us.” She said gently. “You taught me that. You forgave me whenever I hurt you and helped me grow. No matter what I did or how many times I screwed up, you always forgave me and helped me back up. You taught me how to do that.

“So now I want you to forgive yourself for this, because I already have.”

There was silence in the Solar. The breeze from outside ruffled the white curtains and filled the room with the brief smell of flowers. Her mother sniffled softly and hung her head; Astronema looked away and took out a small handkerchief which her mother took from her hands. After what seemed liked an eternity, her mother reached over and pulled Astronema towards her, guiding her head into her lap. Her long nails brushed into Astronema's orange hair. It was the most relaxing feeling in the world.

“You have such a kind heart, my star.” Her mother's voice was soft and gentle as she finally spoke. Astronema gazed up at her and smiled.

“I learned from the best.” Her mother scoffed. “Well you have been, to me. I meant that – no matter what I did you always forgave me. We had a few moments here and there, but I never doubted that you loved me. I always felt safe with you, always knew I could trust you with anything. My mother. My idol. My best friend. Isn't that kindness?”

“Oh my star.” Her mother's arms pulled her in for a hug. She sounded very emotional.

She gladly returned the hug. “I'll take that as a yes.”

“Astronema!”

Her mother laughed and Astronema joined in. It felt good to have said this, to have gotten this weight, this secret off her chest and to have relieved the pressure on her mother's. She was eighteen years old but she still hated hiding things from her mother. But more so, she hated making her mother feel guilty over her, especially when her mother had done it with good intentions.

“So, my star, where do you want to go from here?”

Astronema smiled. Without a word, she stood and grabbed her mother's hand and led her towards the balcony. When they were both standing outside on the balcony, she motioned below. Her mother's gaze went down and her own followed. She already knew what was going on for even here in the Solar she could still feel Nebbi's energy.

She watched for a moment as Alexi dashed around the hedges with Nebbi in hot pursuit. Despite the fact that Alexi was two years older than her, it appeared that Nebbi was faster as she caught him in a diving tackle before he could make the next turn. The laughter was loud enough that she could hear it all the way up here. Her mother's gaze turned back to her.

“You brought her here?”

Astronema just smiled. “I thought it'd be best for her to be with her mama now that my **issues** seem to be behind me or rather now that I've realized my issue was not having her with me. Although I'm rather worried I'm not going to do half as good a job with her as you did with me.”

“I have the feeling you're going to do just fine, my star.”

Astronema smiled. She watched Nebbi down below with a grin. A thought suddenly occurred to her and she turned to face her mother.

“Mother, that deal we made when I was a child...I always wondered how you were able to find me so easily. I used to think it was that I was bad at hiding but now... I can feel Nebbi from here.” She frowned. “You used your gift to find my signature, didn't you? I never really had a chance, did I? You cheated all those times!”

Her mother looked down, a blush forming across her cheeks.

“Mother!”

Astronema would never admit it nor would her mother but the chase that had ensued in the Solar that afternoon had been the most fun either of them had had in years. And it was so not princessy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we have a new character! The next chapter will be from Nebbi's POV!


	16. Chapter 15: Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Nebby's mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Okay so Nebbi is one of my favorite characters to write as. Putting all of her boundless energy into thoughts was fun!

 

On a Tuesday, Nebbi's life changed forever. She had been playing inside and then Cassi had told her to go outside to play in the garden instead. It was strange since Cassi normally let her play where she wanted but it really didn't matter too much to her so she went outside to play in the garden. She had taken her dolls and gone to play.

She told the story of Maiha, her own invention! Miss Joy was a runaway princess who had escape from the clutches of her aunt, the evil Baroness Deva, by pretending to be a nurse in the regional army. There Joy runs into the rugged Fredin, a strong tall handsome soldier, and the two fall in love but then Pinto, another soldier in the army, figures out that Joy is really Princess Maiha and blackmails her into being with him instead of Fredin under risk of Pinto revealing her secret. Poor Joy had just dumped Fredin and was forced to leave with Pinto who tried to force her to kiss him when Deva appeared with her horde of soldiers. Pinto, the cowardly man, ran away only to be shot by the snipers and it seemed all was lost for poor Maiha when then, all of a sudden, Fredin returned!

She had just gotten to doing to good part of the story when she felt something strange that she had never felt before for it was so odd and strange that for sure she would remember if she had! It was confusing to her so she looked around and there, up high on that roof, she saw her. She was tall and beautiful and almost seemed to glow. Her hair was like fire around her face, her skin like chocolate, and her eyes deep cocoa. She was beautiful and familiar for she looked at her and saw her own face looking back albeit a lot older and with different eyes but still that woman looked like her, like Nebbi! And she just knew deep down in her heart that this was mama, the mama she had endlessly asked Cassi about for years and years and years and that was now here but looked like she was going to leave and, oh no, that couldn't happen!

She ran back into the house, pushed past Cassi, ran out the door, then across the street, up the stairs, and finally onto the roof. And there she still was the lady that looked like Nebbi! But now that she was right here her belly felt all full of butterflies and she was so so so so nervous! What is she was wrong and this wasn't mama at all but a random creepy stalker lady who wanted to kidnap her and sell her organs on the black market to cannibal pirates?! But she had to know so she took one step then two and then more until she was right there in front of her.

“Mama?” she asked, eyes wide.

And the lady looked at her with those cocoa eyes and fell to her knees and just grabbed Nebbi in a hug and that was when Nebbi knew for sure that it was so mama! She buried her face into her mother's chest and cried and sobbed and held onto her as tight as she could. She smelled like vanilla and roses and oranges and it was the best smell ever and Nebbi never wanted to let her go ever.

They were there for a long long time just hugging before mama had picked her up and carried her back over towards Cassi's house and then mama and Cassi had talked for a little bit and then Cassi was telling her to go get her stuff cause she was going to go with mama! Her heart jumped in joy and she went super fast to pack all her stuff which was hard cause she wasn't good at getting it all to fit in that bag. And then mama had come and took her bag and picked up Nebbi and she had carried her all the way through the streets and through the city towards the big white palace that Nebbi had always seen through her window but never this close before.

And her mama had told her she was a Princess which made her mouth drop open wide. And then her mama had told her that she, Nebbi, was a princess too! That was even more shocking than knowing her mama was a Princess! She had asked her mama if she knew the queen and her mama had smiled and said that that was HER mama. The queen was her mama's mama! Wow! She had never expected this, that she would be like Miss Joy from her story! Nebbi was a REAL princess not a dumb crazy girl like some of the other girls from town had said she was. So ha!

They had run into mama's sister, who was an odd duck, upon arriving and then gone into the palace gardens and she had met Alexi, a little boy who was a bit older than her, and his giant papa. Mama had talked to Alexi's papa and then told her to play with Alexi for a while. Then mama had gone into the palace alone and she and Alexi had started to play space pirates! Alexi was the pirate and Nebbi was the detective and they ran and chased each other though the hedges for a long long time! She caught Alexi twice: once with a tackle and once by surprising him around a corner! It was so much fun and she liked Alexi a lot and wanted to play a whole bunch with him. Alexi liked playing this type of game and she was so happy to have someone who wanted to play her kind of fun game instead of having pretend parties.

But her mama had come to get her and had brought her inside by the hand, telling her she had to meet someone very important and very special. Alexi had followed her and his papa had come too. She had guessed a lot of different things. A mailman, a baker, a flying acrobat, a superhero, a giant green lizard monster, and a big silver alien to name a few. But her mama had just looked at her with an expression she didn't quite know and said no. And then she got to met her mama's mama for the first time.

Her mama's mama was tall and thin and oh so pretty, just like an angel or a bouquet of flowers. But she was a queen, so she should have expected that. She also looked way too young to be her mama's mama. She had said that out loud and her mama's mama had blushed. She had stared at the pretty, sparkly, crystal crown on her mama's mama's head for a long time and wondered if she could have one too because it was so pretty and mesmerizing and shiny and sparkly and a crown! She had then asked if it was true that her mama's mama was an evil, blood-sucking vampire witch that froze her victims into stone statues to decorate her hallways like Melli from town had told her. It was her mama's mama's hair color that had reminded her.

Her mama had hit herself on the forehead with her palm and her mama's mama had just blinked and looked at her with this look that reminded Nebbi of a fish. Alexi had laughed despite covering his mouth with his hands and Alexi's mom, who had been standing behind her mama's mama, had walked over and smacked him on the head and glared down at him with the meanest look she had ever seen. Nebbi had promptly asked her if she had been mistaken and if it was Alexi's mom who was the evil, blood-sucking vampire witch. It was one of the two, she knew that for sure.

Alexi's big, tall, giant of a papa had suddenly started laughing and he got laughing so hard he doubled over. Alexi's mom didn't look too happy but then mama's mama had started laughing softly and then so did mama who reached down and scooped her up in her arms. She didn't understand what was so funny and, in the end, neither her mama's mama nor Alexi's mom had answered her.

Maybe they were both evil, blood-sucking vampire witches!

But anyway her mama's mama was so cool! There was this awesome room that she got to see that was all some kind of glass. It didn't reflect her face like she thought it would but she could look out from every side and see everything below her! She spent a lot of time dashing back a forth and around just looking, looking, looking. And then she had grabbed mama's mama's hand and dragged her around asking her what that was and what this building was and why this one had that tiny little silver thing on top and why that one had no windows and so much more because her mama's mama was the Queen and that meant she knew everything about everything! And despite her mama telling her stop, her mama's mama had answered all of her questions – every last one! Nebbi had been so happy she had jumped off of the desk into her mama's mama's arms for a giant hug (and had almost accidentally knocked her mama's mama to the floor). But she had smiled that oh so pretty smile and kissed Nebbi's forehead.

And that made up Nebbi's mind that her mama's mama was definitely one of her favorite people! And from now on she'd call her G-ma, which was a shorter and much cooler word for grandma! Cause grandmas were old ladies and mama's mama wasn't old at all so it felt weird to call her grandma! G-ma had made a funny face at that but nodded. Her other favorite people were, of course, her mama, Cassi, Alexi, and Alexi's papa. And maybe Alexi's mama too but she still wasn't sure about that cause she still might be that vampire witch! But then again it would be kinda cool to be friends with a vampire witch...

But anyway, Nebbi had found out later from Alexi that his mama was called Sybil and his papa was called Aimery. But those names sounded too hard and too long. So she decided to call them Bil and Amy! It was fun cause Bil was a girl that she called a boy's name while Amy was a guy she called a girl's name. Alexi had found it funny. She had told her mama that later that night after dinner and her mama had just started at her and then started to laugh. She had laughed so hard she was wheezing and had started to cry on the floor. G-ma had come in and seen mama on the floor and gotten all worried but her mama had pointed to Nebbi and Nebbi had quickly told G-ma about her new names.

“All I can see is Aimery with pigtails and Sybil bald.” Her mama had choked out between laughs.

G-ma had blinked and then she had started laughing too. But G-ma had managed to sit herself down in a chair instead of the floor. Nebbi had laughed too, but she hadn't found it quite so funny. Maybe it was a grown-up thing.

Oh and dinner! Dinner had been amazing! G-ma and mama and her had sat at this big white table that was ginormous and way too big for four people, cause her mama's odd sister duck was there too, and then these ladies who worked for G-ma had brought out tons and tons of plates of food! Nebbi couldn't count them all and couldn't identify what most of the food was so she let her mama make her plate for her which was a mistake cause her mama added a bunch of yucky green vegetables that looked so gross! Nebbi had stuck her tongue out at them but mama had frowned at her and told her that if she didn't eat her whole plate then she wouldn't get any dessert at all and, worse yet, she'd have to sit in her seat and watch G-ma and mama and mama's sister eat their desserts! So she had choked down all of those awful green vegetables that made her want to vomit and smelled like moldy socks that had been under a bed for two years and six days and licked by a puppy with a mouth infection. But it had been worth it cause there were as many if not more desserts than there had been food and Nebbi had tried one of everything! Her mama's sister had even given her the last cupcake and she decided that maybe her mama's odd duck of a sister wasn't too bad after all. And maybe she might be one of Nebbi's favorite people too.

Mama had given her a bath and then led her into a small room with bright walls and a big window. She had showed Nebbi a big closet full of clothes and left her to pick out some pajamas for herself! She picked the blue pair and then went to find mama. Mama was in G-ma's room sitting on G-ma's bed talking to her; mama's pajamas were gray and G-ma's were white. Nebbi had snuck up on them and tackled them both onto the bed and there was a lot of laughter and smiles. Then mama had said it was time for bed and she had begged with lots of pleases to stay here with mama and G-ma tonight. She must have been very convincing for it didn't take too long for both G-ma and mama to agree. And so Nebbi spent her first night in G-ma's big fluffy bed wedged between G-ma and mama which was super nice!


	17. Chapter 16: Moving Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things move along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place about 2 years after the previous.

Just where was Astronema?

She found herself almost walking in circles looking for her daughter. Astronema was usually so easy to find – her little girl had rarely strayed far from her. And she had always used her gift to find her when she did wander out of sight... Astronema had confronted her about that on the day she had brought Nebbi home having finally realized how she had found her all those times. But Astronema was no longer a child, she was an adult now and for whatever reason she felt ashamed to use her gift to find her adult child. So she walked around here and there searching for her daughter the hard way.

She had already been in most of the places Astronema frequented – there was only one other place she could think to check. Nebbi's room.

Oh, Nebbi. That little girl, that little spitfire was both a handful and a joy to have around. The girl had a seemingly endless supply of energy that propelled her though life without hesitation. She was usually smiling and laughing and bounding around in joy, her mouth always going.

This girl had stolen her heart away in that meeting on that day – she loved her greatly. Her star's daughter, her darling. The thought that she had once tried to extinguish this bright flame disturbed her greatly; she couldn't image not having Nebbi here. The one wish she always used to have was for her scars to just go away (or for there to be a way to remove them without surgery). That wish had changed into a desire to reunite with her daughter after her star had been taken away. And it had changed yet again when she had met Nebbi – a wish for this darling little granddaughter of hers to NEVER ever ever find out that she had tried to kill her as an infant. Perhaps that guilt was the reason she spoiled Nebbi so much.

Levana easily found Nebbi practicing her writing in her bedroom.

“Hello, Nebbi. My, your handwriting is looking better each time I see it.”

Nebbi turned up to her with a huge smile. “Ya think so? I've been practicing a whole lot! I still don't like the ts though..”

She smiled. “You have to put the tip this way.” She took the spare pen and showed her. “See?”

Nebbi's eyes sparkled. “OH! That's why mine look so wonky! You're the best, G-ma!”

She gently ran her hand through Nebbi's wild hair. “Anytime, darling. Did you happen to see your mom today? I cannot seem to find her...”

Nebbi's tongue stuck out as she finished a much better t. “Oh, she's probably with Tibs.”

“Tibs?” She frowned. “Who is Tibs?”

“Tibs. Ah, what was his real name? Tyold...Tymold...Tybod? It's one of those.” Nebbi tapped her lip as she spoke. “You know, G-ma, that tall carrot-head guard that transferred over last week? The one with the ponytail?”

Ah yes, the new guard she had transferred over from his previous assignment due to outstanding achievements. Tybold was his name; Nebbi had been close.

“I think mama likes him.” Nebbi's words broke through her train of thoughts.

“Why do you think that, darling?”

“We always run into him, no matter where he's stationed so I think mama has his schedule memorized since we take a different path to the same place on different days. She always looks at him; almost walked into a maid the other day cause she was staring at him over her shoulder. She gets all giggly and smiley. Oh and she sighs a lot, I mean a whole lot of sighing.” Nebbi explained as she did another line of ts. “That's what Hattie does in the netscreen drama I watch when she looks at Drew and Hattie likes Drew so I thought that maybe mama likes Tibs!”

Her mind was reeling. Astronema...in love? “Thank you, Nebbi” She finally managed to say and she ruffled her hair once more before all but dashing out the door.

It was easy to use her portscreen to find the schedule for the guards and easier still to find Tybold's name. The schedule told her he should be doing patrols in the gardens so that's where Levana headed. It wasn't hard at all to find him – Astronema's signature led her straight to them. She should have just walked right up to them like the Queen she was and asked what was going on but instead she found herself crouching by a bush and spying on them.

Astronema was smiling and laughing, her posture relaxed. She looked every bit the bright and vibrant adult version of the girl she had been before **that**. There was this look in her eyes that Levana knew all to well – it was the same look she had often given Evret years and years ago. Her heart plummeted; her star was about to make the same mistake she had and get her heart broken. She turned her attention to Tybold but what she saw wasn't what she had expected for the same look that was in her star's eyes was mirrored in his. That look wasn't suspicion or reluctance or confusion or even a manipulation. It was honest and vibrant affection. Curious she cast out her gift and scanned the surface of his mind without his knowledge. All she could find were happy thoughts and feelings and, dare she say it, love? Did he truly love her star?

Astronema turned slightly towards her direction and Levana pressed herself back into the bushes out of view. There were a tense few seconds where she was sure that Astronema would walk over and find her but nothing happened and, after a few moments, she heard the sound of their footsteps become fainter. She breathed a sigh of relief. What was wrong with her?! She was Queen and she was crouching in bushes spying on her daughter like a..a...ninja! The thought was dis-concerning and she quickly dusted her dress off and headed back inside.

She would wait and see where this headed.

/////////////

There was a knock on her door.

“Come in.”

She was expecting Sybil with a report or a thaumaturge with the papers she had requested or even the maid with her snack. But it was none of them – it was Tybold. The guardsman looked nervous almost apprehensive as he let himself in and shut the door behind him. He bowed his head.

“My apologies for the disturbance, Your Majesty. I was, uh, hoping I could speak with you for a moment about something.”

She frowned. How interesting. Why was he here? She didn't like him and yet here he was so brazenly approaching her as if he were one of her favorites.

“What it is, Tybold?” She didn't try to hide her distaste. “I'm a very busy woman, so make it quick.”

“Ah yes, I'll make it as fast as I can. Thank you, Your Majesty.” He bowed again. “It's...it's about the Princess.”

“Astronema?” She asked, raising the octave of her voice slightly. “What about my daughter?”

He sighed and scratched his head. “Look, I'm just going to be honest with you here – I'm gonna lay it out nice and straight. I know you don't like me; for whatever reason you don't like me at all. I'm not as dumb as people make me out to be – I can see the signs.”

She blinked. He knew? She had thought she had been rather subtle about it...curious.

“I don't know if it's something I said or something I did or maybe it's just the feeling you get around me, but I can tell. I haven't missed the glares, the frowns, and the bit of mind scraping that's gone on.” He continued. “I'm not sure I can get you to like me – you seem rather like that type who makes up their mind and then sticks to that decision. I figure it'd take something major to change your mind about me. So I'm not even going to try. I don't mind if you hate me. And if things were simple, I guess it could be left like that. But life and things are rarely simple.

“See, thing is, well you already probably have realized it. That I like her, your daughter and that she likes me. For sure, you've noticed...we haven't exactly been subtle about it with her following me around and me sending her mail.” Tybold turned his gaze to the floor. “This is probably the last thing you want – for the dumb guard who you hate to be the one your daughter likes.”

“My sentiments exactly. I certainly do not approve of my star hanging around you.” She pursed her lips. “I do not understand **why** you are here.”

Tybold managed a smile. “I'm here because despite how much you might dislike me and how much we're obviously going to disagree on things there is one thing we both can agree on: we both want Princess Astronema to be happy.”

She blinked. Well that was unexpected.

“She's been through a lot...I'm sure I don't need to bring that up but I can see it in her face some days. And so I've been going on walks with her and sending her mail and flower cause it makes her smile. She's a nice person, a good person, and she deserves to be happy.” Tybold muttered softly. “And this-,” he waved his hand between himself and her, “this isn't helping.

“She knows you don't like me and she's been trying to hide the fact that she does but she's awful at it. She wears her heart on her sleeve, it's easy for anyone to see what she's feeling. It's easy for me to see how she doesn't like hiding this from you...but it's how she feels she has to because she doesn't want you to send me off. Because she sees something in me that makes her happy.” Tybold sighed. “I don't wanna be the reason she's miserable or the reason that you and her get into a row. I just wanna see her smile. I just want to see her happy. And I know that putting her in the middle of whatever is going on between the two of us and making her pick one is not going to do that.”

She stared at him, unsure of what to say. She had noticed Astronema's odd behavior...but to think it was over this. Is that truly what her star was feeling – as if she was being pulled in two directions? Had she truly been doing that to her baby without realizing it? Making her sad? Making her choose? For him to come and face her knowing that she didn't like him for Astronema's sake...it took courage and heart.

“I understand.” She finally said softly. “I will speak with Astronema about this. I will not bar her from visiting you if it makes her happy.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” Tybold bowed again.

She waited until he was at the door before speaking again.

“You are not what I was expecting at all. There's a brain in that head of yours. And a good heart hidden behind your armor.”

He smiled. “I try. Good evening, Your Majesty.”

He shut the door gently behind him as he left. She sighed and leaned back into her chair. She still didn't like him but perhaps her opinion of him had improved...if only by a tiny bit.

/////////////

There was a knock on her door. She turned in her chair with a slight frown. It was late – who was bothering her at this hour.

“Come in.”

Tybold poked his head inside the door. “Good evening, Your Majesty. I know it's a little late, but I was hoping you had a moment to spare for me.”

She sighed and waved him in with a hand. This guard again. It had been a little over two years since his last visit into her office where he had shattered her expectations of him by putting her star's well being above his own favor. He had been right, too. Astronema had been happier since that night she had told her she didn't mind if Astronema hung around her new 'friend'. He had earned a sliver of respect from her. Not that she would ever admit it to him, of course.

Tybold bowed before her. “I'll try and make this quick – you're a very busy woman after all.” He smiled.

She scoffed. That line, quoting her from their last meeting. This boy had cheek.

“What is it this time, Tybold?”

He rubbed his head nervously with one hand. “I know it's kinda old fashioned to do this but given the situation, I feel it's the most appropriate thing to do. I don't wanna put the Princess in a hard spot by making her pick, so I figured it's just easier all around if I just ask you first.”

“Ask me **what** , Tybold?” She drawled.

“If you'd let me marry your daughter.”

Whatever she had been expecting him to say, it certainly wasn't **that**. She felt her breath catch in her lungs and she clutched the arm of the chair in a death grip. Marry? Tybold and Astronema?! Tybold and her star?! This wonky guard and her baby! No! Never! Not even if the heavens themselves split in two and demanded it would she ever allow this blasphemy to-

He was smiling.

He wasn't fidgeting or shuffling or looking around. He was staring at her and smiling. Smiling that big goofy grin of his. That goofy grin that Astronema loved. No, it wasn't the grin her star loved.

It was this man.

She had seen how her star's eyes lit up when she was around him, how she looked at him with that smile that shone as bright as her namesake. How she seemed to float when she was around him. How happy she was. How she seemed to just forget her problems and her fear around him. How brightly she smiled when she came back to show off what small gift he had brought her. How flowers or even just a card could turn her into that bubbly girl again. That bubbly girl who she feared she had lost after **that** had happened.

Nebbi even liked Tybold. Tybold who would play with Nebbi in the gardens when she was alone and let her jump on him and tackle him to the ground. Tybold who didn't mind helping Nebbi with her work or buying her snacks or carrying her when she got herself so exhausted from running around. Tybold who never complained once about having to do anything for Nebbi or her star. Tybold who had found the courage to stand in front of her for her baby's sake knowing very well she could have him killed in an instant.

Was this how it was supposed to be when two people fell in love? Was this how love between two lovers looked? Had her star found the one thing she had never been able to truly obtain for herself?

Yes. Yes, she had.

It was clear. Astronema loved Tybold. And Tybold loved Astronema.

No one should stand between that kind of love – not a Queen and not an overprotective mother.

If this made Astronema happy, if this was the way to make her star happy than so be it.

She was strong enough, brave enough to do this for her baby – to put her first.

“Yes, Tybold. I will allow you.”

The look on his face was priceless. She didn't even complain when he sprung up and hugged her.

Stars, what was she getting herself into.

/////////////

Two days later Astronema practically pounced on her when she was sitting in bed at night looking over documents. Astronema, with the hugest smile she'd ever seen on her, threw her arms around her and hugged her. She held her tight and let Astronema smile and laugh against her. And then, when she had calmed herself down, her star showed her it – the sparkling ring on her finger.

A rose gold band inlaid with tiny little amber stars and a big diamond in the shape of star. It was a beautiful ring that suited her little star. Seeing the smile on her face, the joy in her eyes, she knew she had made the right decision.

Astronema would be happy with Tybold and she would live with that.

Even if it meant having that goofy guard as a son-in-law.

/////////////

She helped her baby plan everything: from the flowers, to the cake, to the decorations, to the food. She took her star to the best seamstresses and had them create a custom gown for her: a masterpiece of white and gold embroidered with stars and moons and nebulas. She threw her star the biggest wedding bonding ceremony ever. She even gave all of the people of Luna the day off in honor of the event.

She watched Nebbi prance down the isle with flowers and Alexi followed her with the ribbons and rings. She walked her daughter down the aisle and handed her over to Tybold. She sat in the front row besides Sybil and Aimery and tried her best not to cry as Winter stood up there with Astronema, fixing her gown, as the officiant she had selected began. She started to cry when the ribbons were tied; Sybil handed her a handkerchief. She watched them kiss and remembered her own wedding and how sad it now seemed in comparison to this.

She watched them dance together at the party in each others arms and smiled. She even let Tybold dance with her – Astronema grinned from the sidelines, Aimery swirled Sybil past her, and Nebbi dashed about with Alexi. Tybold just smiled at her and she didn't need words to understand what he wanted to tell her. She just nodded.

Her star was happy; that's what mattered most to her.

/////////////

Tybold moved into Astronema's suite with her and Nebbi that night. It was Levana who pulled Nebbi with her into her own rooms for a sleepover while sending a smile towards her star. She listened as Nebbi prattled on for a while about the party before tucking her little granddaughter in bed beside her. Her star could use a night or two alone with her new husband and Nebbi was wonderful company. She had had her doubts about this little girl once but now she honestly couldn't image her life without the little fireball.

/////////////

In some ways, Tybold reminded her a bit of Evret – he did not take a crown but rather was satisfied with continuing on as her star's guard. He clearly had not married her baby for status nor did he want it; it was clear Tybold would have married her baby even if she had been a pauper. For that, she was grateful.

Tybold wasn't like Evret who had ignored his own child. Watching Tybold be Nebbi's papa was entertaining: he truly loved the little girl like his own. Nebbi was already calling him papa and it was clear she approved of her mama's choice. Watching the three of them she saw what could have been between herself and Evret. Perhaps she had pushed him too hard or perhaps it had been his doing; she would never know for sure. She was just happy her star wasn't making the same mistake.

It was Nebbi who came to see her on that Sunday afternoon with a huge smile a few months after the ceremony. She had a huge grin and this look in her eyes that Levana knew all to well – it was the look Nebbi got when she knew a secret. Nebbi was practically bouncing in excitement as Levana pulled her in for a hug when she sat beside her on the couch.

“What has you so hyper, my darling?” She asked gently.

Nebbi grinned. “I overheard mama and papa! I heard the secret! It's kinda about Nebbi too!”

“What secret?” She whispered with a smile.

“Mama was saying she was gonna tell you later but...I guess I can spoil it, if you really want me to!” Nebbi giggled. “Mama won't be too mad!”

“Tell me.” She urged, wondering just what had gotten Nebbi so excited.

“Try and guess, G-ma! Try and guess!”

She sighed and shook her head. “I wouldn't know where to begin, my darling.”

Nebbi giggled. “OK, then I'll just tell you!”

Nebbi leaned in real close until her lips were practically brushing against Levana's ear.

“Mama.” She whispered softly “Mama is gonna have another baby!”

She wasn't sure she had heard Nebbi correctly. There was no way she had heard that – not at all. She blinked and stared at her with wide eyes. Astronema chose that moment to enter the room. Nebbi grinned sheepishly and went to hide behind the desk; Astronema sighed.

“So I guess she told you.”

Levana blinked and stared at her daughter's face for a moment and then let her gaze drop down to her middle.

“You're...”

Astronema strode over and took the now empty seat.

“Yeah, I am.”

Levana felt tears form at the corners of her eyes. She gently wrapped her arms around her star. Astronema smiled and hugged her back.

“At least this time I'll know what to do.” Astronema mused softly.

She laughed.

“Oh my star, I think you'll find things and never quite that simple.”

/////////////

She arrived at the medical sector just as Tybold was carrying a sleeping Nebbi out in his arms. He smiled at her and bowed as best he could without jostle ting Nebbi.

“Nebbi exhausted herself with all her excitement. Sybil said she'd watch her for the night; a little sleepover with Alexi. Nebbi will like that.” He explained with a smile. “Ston's expecting you; said for sure you'd show up in a huff about her not telling you.”

“She certainly knows me well enough.” She deadpanned.

Tybold laughed. “Should hope so by now, eh?”

She shook her head softly and brushed past him into the room. She followed the path left and then right and wasn't too surprised to find herself in the same room she had laid in almost 25 years ago. Astronema noticed her the moment she arrived and smiled brightly.

“Hello, mother.”

Astronema looked much better than she had the last time she'd had a child and that alone was enough to relax her a bit. She slid into the room and over to her daughter's side. “You could have called me.”

“Just so you could stand here and fret over me? You already did that once for me before; it was time someone else had a turn.” Astronema grinned up at her. “Besides, it was a little fun to watch Tyb balance trying to watch Nebbi and comfort me.”

She laughed softly. Oh that would have been quite a sight; no wonder he had looked so tired himself.

“So, mother, are you going to just stand there or would you like to hold her?”

Levana turned her attention back to her star. The newborn was wrapped in a pink blanket and cuddled against Astronema's chest, effectively hiding the view of the face.

“Her? So we have another Princess, do we?” She smiled.

Astronema shrugged. “It does seem like Blackburn boys are becoming a rarity. You and your sister were both women. I'm a girl and I have 2 girls. And didn't you tell me that the little one who died with your sister was a girl too? That's six of us girls and no man in sight.”

“It does seem like it has become an age of women.” Levana mused. She turned her eyes back to the bundle. “Of course I'll hold her, dear. Hand her over.”

Astronema shuffled to the right slightly allowing her to sit on the edge of the bed before the little baby was carefully passed over. Levana shifted the bundle in her arms and took her first good look at the child. Ruby hair, blue eyes, and tawny skin; it was like looking in a mirror that showed her younger self. She felt her mouth drop open.

“So you see it too – how much she looks like you.” Astronema's voice was soft.

She nodded gently. “She's beautiful, Astronema.” She gazed down at the little baby who was staring up at her with wide blue eyes and rocked her gently. “Did you and Tybold think of a name?”

“Tybold told me I could pick whatever I wanted for her.” Astronema explained. “He said I did all the hard work so I can call her whatever I want.”

Levana snorted softly. “A sensible man for once.”

“Indeed.” Astronema giggled. “So I thought and thought and thought, but only one name seemed appropriate when I saw her. It's a bit nontraditional, but I think it suits her.”

“Oh?”

“Her name is Levi.”

She blinked; there was a pit of something warm in her gut beginning to bubble. “Levi?”

“After you. After my mother. After my best friend.” Astronema intoned softly

She felt tears begin to slide down her cheeks. Astronema touched her shoulder gently.

“You don't mind, do you?” She asked softly. “I can change it if it bothers you.”

“No, I don't mind at all. It's a lovely name.” Levana said finally as she pulled the child closer to her. “A lovely name for a lovely girl.”


	18. Story Timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeline of events in the story

109 TE; January

Winter Hayle is born to Evret and Solstice; Solstice dies

110 TE; February

Levana Blackburn marries Evret Hayle

110 TE; March

Levana becomes pregnant

110 TE; December 13th

Astronema Hayle-Blackburn is born to Levana & Evret

111 TE; August

Queen Channary becomes pregnant

111 TE; December 20th

Channary dies from regolith poisoning; her child is unsavable

Levana technically becomes Queen

111 TE; December 24th

Levana is officially crowned Queen of Luna

Sybil is appointed to head thaumaturge by Levana

Aimery is appointed to 2nd thaumaturge by Levana

112 TE; November 16th

Haddon attacks Astronema & Winter

Haddon is killed by Levana

Evret succumbs to injuries sustained in the attack

115 TE; May

Levana and Astronema have their first real fight

Astronema runs off and gets lost in Artemisia

Levana enacts the “deal” between herself and Astronema

115 TE; November

Astronema successfully wins her first “deal” after kicking Sybil & hiding from Levana

116 TE; December

Levana, Winter, and Astronema attend the festival in Artemisia for the first time

Sybil and Aimery begin dating

119 TE; April

Astronema orders her secret camera and takes pictures

Astronema discovers her mother's secret

120 TE; June

Astronema, Levana, and Winter are confined in the safe room during a bomb scare

Levana admits her secret to Winter and Astronema

Sybil and Aimery are married

121 TE; October

Astronema and Winter plan a surprise party for Levana's birthday

Alexi is born to Sybil and Aimery

122 TE; November

Astronema is kidnapped from a ball at the palace

123 TE; November 22nd

Levana rescues Astronema from captivity

Nebula (Nebbi) Blackburn is born to Astronema

128 TE; December

Astronema figures out she needs to see Nebbi

Astronema brings Nebbi back to the palace

131 TE; February

Astronema begins seeing Tybold

131 TE; November

Tybold visits Levana in her chambers over Astronema

134 TE; January

Tybold asks Levana's permission to marry Astronema

134 TE; March

Astronema & Tybold are married

135 TE; October

Levi Blackburn is born to Astronema & Tybold


	19. Notes from the Author; Future?

This is the planned end of my story. I planned out these 16/17 chapters and wrote them in random order; I have nothing else planned. But here's a time line for what comes in the future of this universe. If someone really wants, I can write more.

The story ends with Levana age 42, Sybil age 40, Aimery age 42, Astronema is 25, Winter is 26, Alexi is 14, Nebbi is 12, and Levi is 0. ((Note that these are my HC ages for Sybil and Aimery as their ages are not mentioned in canon but I figured both of them to be around Levana's age))

  * Levi is a bit of a shy girl; she's very nervous around strangers are really only likes her mom & dad, her big sis, Sybil, and of course her grandma

  * Levi spends a lot of her youth wanting to grow up fast so she won't be such a scaredy cat

  * Nebbi is the one who drags her little sister off on adventures to try and get her to be less nervous; it rarely works and often turns into disasters

  * Levi is very very happy she has a big sister and thus won't be Queen

  * Alexi does not follow his mother's wishes and becomes an inventor instead of a thaumaturge

    * He actually invents a device in his late teenage years that cancels part of a Shell's defense, allowing them to be manipulated.

  * Because there is no Selene in this AU there is also no letumosis virus (I don't think I ever mentioned this) although negotiations between Earth and Luna are still a bit rough

    * Kaito's mother does not die from the virus nor does his father

    * They both live to watch over Kai as he grows up

    * Kai will fall in love with a common girl (no one who is story canon or significant in any way) and his parents will fully support his decision to marry her for love

    * The two of them will have a little boy (Prince Caanan)

  * Shells are still taken from their parents; Astronema works on this issue as a princess and winds up, with her mother's help, changing the system a bit for the better

    * Shells are now “taken” from their parents, not killed and placed in a special isolation area

    * They learn basics like every Lunar child and their parents are even allowed to visit

    * When the children turn 10, they have Alexi's device implanted into them and are released back into Lunar society now that they can be stopped via manipulation

  * Nebbi goes on to marry Alexi when she's 18. The two of them are a big pair of goofballs that don't really change much as they get older.

  * Although she will never admit it, Sybil is very fond of Nebbi and thinks Alexi made a good choice

  * Negotiations with the Eastern Commonwealth & Luna take a turn for the better when Levana is around 49 & Astronema 33

    * The current empress (Kai's mother) falls ill and Astronema convinces her mother to allow their Lunar doctor to treat her, which ends up saving her life

    * This drastically improves the relationship between the parties to friendly terms

  * Levana will abdicate her throne at age 50 to Astronema, saying she's getting “too old for this” but it's really because she's come to realize her daughter is good at this kind of stuff

  * This gives Levana a lot of free time (which she spends spoiling Nebbi and Levi)

  * After years of her on-and-off flirting with Jacin, Winter and Jacin finally get married when Winter is 35 mostly due to Astronema demanding they either marry or break up for good

    * Because Winter still has her gift in this time line, Jacin went on to be a doctor not just a guardsman

    * Winter goes on to have a few kids; she opens an art academy to teach kids art and to have art therapy sessions with some of Jacin's patients

  * During a future visit of earth, Levi and Prince Caanan meet

    * The two kids will eventually fall in love and marry

    * Levi moves to Earth to be with her new family and, eventually, will become Empress alongside Emperor Caanan

    * Although she lets Caanan do all of the work and spends her time doing little things here and there

  * Astronema stays Queen of Luna until she's 60, then gives her crown to Nebbi and Alexi; Nebbi is 47 when she takes the throne and a bit calmer (but only just a bit)

  * Levana dies a month after her 95th birthday; Astronema cries herself to sleep and ultimately never wakes up, dying the same day at age 78.




 

I think that's it. Like I said, if there's something you'd like to see written about (or if you have any questions at all) leave me a comment & I'll respond.

 

Thanks for reading and hopefully enjoying Beloved.

Ichigo


	20. Q & A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions & Answers  
> (if you have one, comment it!)

Some quick questions (if you have one, comment it!)

1) The inspiration for Astronema's name.

I sorta answered this in the comments. My originally plan for her name was Andromeda after the galaxy. I knew I wanted something star-themed and this was my first plan. However, I also knew that Levana was always going to use a nickname for her and, in writing the star, I realized the only possible one for Andromeda was Andi which didn't really fit. So I scrapped Andromeda and went looking for other star-related words. I liked the sound of Astronemy but that isn't a name for a child – I looked the word up and found the Greek root word Astron, which means star. But Astron is a boy's name...still I liked it. I wanted to use Astron and, eventually, I figured out I could add part of the ending from the initial name of Andromeda to Astron and thus made Astronema.

I only realized far after I had committed to the name that there was a Power Rangers villain of the same name XD

 

2) Did Evret really hate Astronema?

In a word, no. Astronema sort of explains it herself when she's talking to Levana after bringing Nebbi home with

“it didn't stop those feelings. You couldn't be mad at me so you became mad at her. Mad at what she represented.”

Evret didn't hate Astronema herself, he hated what she represented: his forced marriage to Levana. Evret couldn't really **hurt her** hurt her as she was royalty and there was no way he was going to get away with doing such. He was left with words and ignoring her as his only options but he couldn't do much more than that. But that wasn't really enough in the end; he was incredibly mad at her for manipulating his emotions and forcing him into this bond. Astronema was the physical representation of that bond and, since he couldn't seem to truly hurt Levana with his words, he turned his anger on Astronema. Although, in the end, he realized the mistake he had made. Had Evret lived after that attack (which was an idea I had considered) he would have become a much better father to Astronema although he still would have hated Levana.

 

3) Why does Astronema not like Sybil?

This one is actually easy – Sybil tells Astronema no. Levana is the Queen and the law but she's also Asti's mom. Levana will allow her daughter to do mostly anything as long as she can find a reason to justify it. Astronema comes to court – well she'll learn how it words and how to speak. Astronema comes to court during executions – well she has to learn sometime about how there are consequences to breaking laws. Ect, ect. If it's for her little darling baby, then sure, why not?!

Sybil, on the other hand, has no such favoritism towards Astronema. If Sybil doesn't think something is appropriate for a little girl, she'll put her foot down for Levana. Sybil will report Astronema for doing things wrong to her mother when other servants will not out of fear of angering Levana. She's not someone to be intimidated by possible punishment; she does what she feels is best for her Queen and country. That's what happened in chapter 6 – Levana was doing trials and executions during court that day and Sybil didn't think it was appropriate for a young child so she told Astronema no. It was done for not only Astronema's benefit but also for Levana's for Sybil was sure watching people have their throats cut would give Astronema nightmares.

Astronema comes to understand this in time, that Sybil is trying to help her and protect her, but as a little kid all she thinks is that Sybil is being mean.

 

4) Why did that noble kidnap Astronema?

It was hard for me to wave him into the story more since I only showed snippets of the lives of Levana and Astronema and Winter. I didn't want to write a chapter from his POV because I didn't want to write all the things he did to Astronema...so I had to include only sparse details. But basically:

He was a prominent noble in the Lunar society and one of the many men who slept with Channary. When she died and Levana became Queen, his interest turned to her – not for love but for power. After Evret's death he was one of the men who sent her lavish gifts and tried to entice her to be with him. He even asked her a few times to marry him – Levana's answer was obviously always no. In her mind, he was nothing more than another gnat buzzing about her – she didn't notice him at all. But he always believed that she would change her mind and marry him, making him King. And then they would have a kid together and Astronema would die in some “freak” accident leaving his child as the next ruler. He might have even gone as far as murdering Levana if his plan reached this phase.

But after years and years of being ignored, he finally got angry with Levana and decided to take “revenge” on her. That “old lady” at the party was him in a glamour – he lured Astronema out into the hall alone and snatched her away. If he couldn't have Levana, he was going to have the next best thing. In his mind if the Princess had his child then his name would become a part of Lunar History. He had a grand plan of eventually killing Astronema after the baby (Nebbi) was a year or so old and going to Levana with a story about how he had found her and tried to save her but failed. He was hoping she'd buy it given Astronema's body and Nebbi's existence and that he'd have a place in the palace and a direct influence over Nebbi.

Luckily, his plans were foiled by that maid.

 

5) Winter's odd reaction to Nebbi?

Why did she act so odd when she met Nebbi for the first time? Well to understand this, you have to remember that Levana never told Winter about what that man had done to Astronema. Winter was told that her sister was taken and hurt by that man – Levana never elaborated any more. It was a kindness to Winter from Levana to not tell her that her sister had been raped. And, because Levana ordered Nebbi's death, she was not going to mention that to Winter either. So Winter never really knew exactly what he did to Asti.

So flash forward five years from that day and all of a sudden Astronema shows up with a kid and drops the bomb on her that this is her daughter. In that moment is when Winter realized what that mad had done to her sister – that her sister had been forced to sleep with him at age 12. That her sister had gotten pregnant and had been forced to have a baby. All of a sudden Asti's behavior towards men makes even more sense and Winter's probably a little mad/ashamed that she didn't realize this sooner. All of it is a little too much for her, so Winter basically just excused herself and likely went up to her room to cry.

 

6) How can Levana find Astronema so easily in the palace but not be able to find her in the city?

Ah, well. Like Astronema kinda explains, Levana's been using her gift to sense where Astronema is for ages – think of it kinda like radar or sonar. Since Astronema's signature is so familiar to Levana it's easy for her to lock onto and then track. So why does it work in one occasion and not the other? 2 factors: size and emotional state.

Obviously the palace is a lot smaller than the whole of the city. More space to cover make it more difficult; it means Levana has to get close enough to feel her before homing in on her. In a single building, even one as large as a palace, she could just stand on the middle floor and likely easily tell if Astronema was above or below her and go from there. There's no such luxury in the city.

The other factor is Levana's emotional state. We've all had that occasion where something incredibly easy to do becomes a monumental task when you're upset or nervous – the sensing works the same way. The more troubled Levana's mind is, the harder it is to focus and thus sense. There's almost no real danger to Astronema in the palace so Levana is more relaxed and thus her sensing works easily. When Astronema gets lost in the city, her emotional state is panic over the unknown, fear that something's going to happen to her baby, guilt over having hurt her, and a bit of anger over her star's foolish behavior. Sensing in that mindset becomes a chore so its no wonder Levana wasn't able to find her. If she had been able to calm herself, she would have stood a much better chance...but she couldn't do that.

 

7) Why does Levana not call the medics earlier in chapter 12?

This is, again, Levana's forward thinking. If you pay attention to the time in c12, Levana is with Astronema in that room for over and hour and a half – so why did it take so long to get medics? Because Levana didn't call them. The moment she realized Astronema was pregnant she decided to kill the baby – calling the medics earlier would leave more witnesses. No thaumaturge is going to miss the princess being carried off in a stretcher while she's in obvious pain and obviously pregnant. With an actual baby, Levana can just tell the main doctor and have him lie to the others saying it's a random kid that was also taken – only that doctor and Levana would know the truth.

It's done to protect her baby from the rumors and the looks it would have caused.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my what-if brainchild. I've always liked Levana and thus I decided to explore what COULD have happened if things went a little differently.


End file.
